| 1/2/2014 1:02:56 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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After many years, Cinderella finally reached the ripe age of 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she now happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.
Cinderella says, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. I'm prepared to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken back, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:
"The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"
"It is the least that I can do," replies her Fairy Godmother. "What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
"Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life!" And with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the Fairy Godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...
"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."
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| 1/2/2014 6:35:49 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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OT:
For hot...
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| 1/3/2014 11:37:30 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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Mo and Jo are sitting in boat fishing, drinking beer and chewing tobacco when out of the
blue Mo says, "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife, she ain't spoke to me in over a month"
Jo sips his beer and says, "Better think it over, women like that are hard to find."
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| 1/6/2014 5:34:35 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/6/2014 7:35:28 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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There once was a guy on the beach who had no arms and no legs. One morning as he sat on the beach ,he saw a very attractive lady jogging by. "Excuse me ma'am, I have never been hugged before.Will you hug me ?" So the lady gave him a hug and continued with her morning jog.
The next morning ,the same lady came jogging by. " Excuse me ma'am ,I've never been kissed before. Will you kiss me ? " Feeling sorry for the fella the lady kissed him then continued with her morning jog.
The third day came and once again he saw the lady jogging and asked "" Will you f**k me ? " So she picked him up ,threw him in the water and said "" NOW YOUR F**KED."
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| 1/8/2014 11:40:43 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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| 1/8/2014 2:43:50 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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Two blondes are talking, one says to the other, ''I've just taken a pregnancy test''. The other replies, ''Were the questions hard?''
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| 1/9/2014 12:20:29 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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Off to Vegas
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.
'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'
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| 1/9/2014 12:21:53 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/9/2014 5:09:20 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/10/2014 9:17:42 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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This morning I went to sign my dogs up for Social Security. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw benefits." So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddy's are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and pay the vet bills. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday.
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| 1/10/2014 10:47:28 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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doorpuller47
Hell
Norway
46, joined Aug. 2013
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Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.
"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.
"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."
"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"
"Baaaaa..."
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| 1/10/2014 4:39:27 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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Womens Rights!
You are an idiot. Either post a real joke or stay outta my thread.
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| 1/11/2014 6:50:28 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment:
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.!
So the fairy waved her magic wand and
poof!... The husband became 92 years old...
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are female.....
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| 1/11/2014 7:46:26 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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| 1/11/2014 8:52:06 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/12/2014 2:48:48 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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oliveoil1682
Lake Alfred, FL
35, joined Jun. 2010
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| 1/14/2014 5:58:52 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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oliveoil1682
Lake Alfred, FL
35, joined Jun. 2010
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| 1/14/2014 6:17:27 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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| 1/14/2014 10:28:38 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A businessman was trying to choose a lawyer, but was being very careful about it. He scheduled appointments to interview three lawyers.
At the first lawyer’s office, after an initial exchange of pleasantries, the businessman said, “Okay, let’s get down to business. I have an important question for you, and I want you to think carefully before answering. How much is two plus two?”
The lawyer raised his eyebrows. “two plus two is four.” The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The second lawyer, who was also a CPA, seemed a bit more particular than the first lawyer. After an initial discussion, the businessman again announced that he had a very important question, and asked, “How much is two plus two?”
The second lawyer went over to a computer, and entered figures into a spreadsheet. “According to my calculations, two plus two is approximately four.” The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The third lawyer sat behind a big mahogany desk, and smoked a cigar. He seemed rather self-important as compared to the other two, but at the same time appeared to be much more successful. The businessman again announced, “I would like you to answer a very important question for me, before I decide whether I should use your services. How much is two plus two?”
The lawyer pulled the shades, locked the door to his office, and asked in a hushed voice, “How much do you want it to be?”
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| 1/16/2014 10:37:26 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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dontknow1734
Kansas City, KS
35, joined Sep. 2011
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where's today's joke
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| 1/16/2014 10:37:39 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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dontknow1734
Kansas City, KS
35, joined Sep. 2011
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bump
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| 1/16/2014 10:38:58 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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Thanks don't know and his c*ck
Since hot is flying today and tomorrow, an airline joke
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached it's cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York .. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!" Silence followed. Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Im sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled....... "For the luvva Jaysus......you should see the back of mine!
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| 1/16/2014 10:41:18 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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dontknow1734
Kansas City, KS
35, joined Sep. 2011
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| 1/16/2014 11:05:56 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'....so she socked me a good one."
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too.
I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my
wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'
But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed b*tch.'
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| 1/17/2014 6:44:11 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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There were a few ducks in the park blowing bubbles after midnight and a police officer gave them a ticket.
They went to court and the first duck went in to see the judge. The judge asks, "What is your name and why are you here?" The duck said, "My name is Quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in a park." The judge said, "That's not a crime, your free to leave.
Please send the next duck in." So the next duck comes in and the judge asks, "What is your name and why are you here?" The duck says "My name is Quack Quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in the park." The judge replied, "That's not a crime your free to go.
Please send the next duck in." So the third duck comes in and the judge says, "Let me guess your name is Quack Quack Quack and your here for blowing bubbles I'm the park?" The duck says "No, my name is Bubbles."
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| 1/17/2014 8:55:17 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/19/2014 5:53:59 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin. One team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, Hello-o-o? It’s only 25 cents!”
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| 1/19/2014 6:51:24 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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sweet you're a dork..
What!? Well it was funny! 
[Edited 1/19/2014 6:53:36 PM ]
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| 1/19/2014 7:30:32 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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ljkonopinski
Tosca
South Africa
34, joined Jun. 2012
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| 1/21/2014 11:31:19 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/22/2014 2:24:01 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome. That will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying...Go to Hell
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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| 1/24/2014 12:57:59 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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doorpuller47
Hell
Norway
46, joined Aug. 2013
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I hope I don't go to Hell for telling this joke but it's still funny:
A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.
He asks the first nun, ''Sister Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?''
The nun giggles and slyly replies, ''Well once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.''
St. Peter says, ''OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.''
St. Peter asks the next nun the same question, ''Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any contact with a penis?''
The nun is a little reluctant but replies ''Well once I fondled and stroked one.''
St. Peter says ''OK, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate.''
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns, one nun is pushing her way to the front of the line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says ''Sister, Sister what seems to be the rush?" The nun replies, ''If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her a** in it!"
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| 1/24/2014 5:49:40 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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^^..
OT:
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| 1/24/2014 5:59:15 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
An oldie, but a goodie, and I know how much Hot loves this pic...
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| 1/27/2014 10:22:58 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand.
But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
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| 1/28/2014 3:41:12 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/30/2014 5:02:32 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 1/31/2014 11:30:16 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 2/2/2014 7:49:41 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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^^...
OT:
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| 2/2/2014 9:12:57 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blistery day.
The daughter said to her mother, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The mother replied, “Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.”
The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The girl replied, “Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up.”
He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, “My nose is cold.”
The girl replied, “Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up.”
He did and warmed his nose.
The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, “My penis is frozen solid.”
The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she asks, “Have you ever heard of a penis?”
Concerned, the mother said, “Why yes… why do you ask?”
The daughter replies, “They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don’t they?”
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| 2/4/2014 11:34:44 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A few minutes before the church services started in this rural TEXAS town, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the rear entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly cowboy who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence..
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The old cowboy replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the cowboy.
'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old cowboy.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The old Texas cowboy calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years!"
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| 2/4/2014 4:02:09 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tyler74171
Mauldin, SC
43, joined Jul. 2013
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| 2/5/2014 6:10:53 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day,
the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors,
she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators...
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| 2/8/2014 6:32:40 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 2/9/2014 6:29:44 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"....
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| 2/14/2014 9:25:54 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a Box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able To swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either...”
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| 2/20/2014 6:45:59 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A sexually active woman told her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal
lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of
embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret, and the
surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully
placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she calls in the doctor. “I thought
I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'”
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and
that the first rose was from him. I felt sad because you went through this
all by yourself. The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the
surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time
ago.
“And what about the third rose?” she asked.
“That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.”
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| 2/20/2014 7:59:30 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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^^..
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| 2/25/2014 1:10:20 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sc0uting4u
Sarasota, FL
42, joined May. 2011
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Tami has been neglecting her thread
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| 3/4/2014 12:09:41 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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I haven't heard or seen any new good jokes lately....
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| 3/4/2014 10:31:55 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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sc0uting4u
Sarasota, FL
42, joined May. 2011
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Get to it, missy!
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| 3/5/2014 12:30:10 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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Saw this post in another group. It's not funny per se, but definitely truth.
These two short sentences tell you a lot about our government and our culture:
1. We are advised to not judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL Gun Owners by the actions of a few lunatics. Funny how that works.
And here’s another one worth considering.
2. Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money. How come we never hear about Welfare running out of money? What's interesting is the first group "worked for" their money, but the second didn't.
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| 3/6/2014 12:10:21 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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When God created
Adam and Eve, He said:
I only have two gifts:
One is the art of peeing standing ...
And then Adam stepped forward and shouted:
ME!, ME!, ME!,
I would love it please ... Lord, please, please!
Look, it will make my life substantially easier.
Eve nodded, and said those things did not matter to her.
Then God gave Adam the gift and he began to shout for joy.
He ran through the garden of Eden and used it to wet all the trees and
bushes, ran down the beach making drawings with his pee in the sand ...
Well, he would not stop showing off.
God and Eve watched the man crazy with happiness and Eve asked God:
What is the other gift? '
God answered:
Eve,..... a brain ... and it is for you ...!
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| 3/8/2014 6:32:35 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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biggeazzy
Tupelo, MS
36, joined Aug. 2013
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Damn
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| 3/11/2014 7:09:01 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
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| 3/11/2014 7:19:05 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 3/11/2014 8:47:46 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 3/12/2014 11:50:41 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.
Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
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| 3/12/2014 2:24:25 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. | Page 2 |
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tedypendrazdoun
Canton, OH
34, joined Jan. 2014
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Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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