| 11/6/2013 12:56:04 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." 
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 11/6/2013 12:56:25 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sc0uting4u
Sarasota, FL
42, joined May. 2011
|
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| 11/6/2013 12:56:59 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
Bwahahaha!...
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| 11/6/2013 1:13:49 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
|
There was a little boy with a bad attitude. He was at home one day
doing his chores. He was feeding the chickens and he got mad and kicked one across the
yard. He was feeding the hogs and got mad and kicked the hell out of one of them also. He
was milking the cow and it kept hitting him in the face with its tail so he kicked it,
too. His mom had been watching him and told him he couldn't have any chicken, beef, or pork for a month because he was a mean little bastard. She told him to wait 'til his
dad got home. His dad came home and tripped over the p*ssy cat and he got mad and kicked
that cat across the room. The little boy looked at his mom and said, "Are you going to
tell him or am I?"
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| 11/7/2013 10:15:29 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
There was a brunette, a red head, and a blonde at the doctors office, all pregnant.
The brunette says, "I'm having a boy because I was on the bottom".
Then the red head says, "Well I'm having a girl cause I was on top".
Then the blonde girl starts crying and says, "I'm gonna have puppies"
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| 11/7/2013 11:13:32 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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| 11/8/2013 10:07:47 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
What does a nosy pepper do?
Get jalapeno buisness...
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| 11/9/2013 2:28:55 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived ....and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless..' With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!' As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... and squealed... 'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!' She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, ' What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know.... I thought you were watching.'
Moral ---Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men. ... are men.
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| 11/10/2013 10:50:21 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sc0uting4u
Sarasota, FL
42, joined May. 2011
|
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| 11/11/2013 6:59:47 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
A Koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks up and says "Hey koala what are you doing?"
The koala answers "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink.
The lizard, so stoned, leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to rescue him. When they get onto dry land, the croc asks, "What's wrong with you, lizard?"
The lizard tells him that he was smoking a joint with a koala, and he got too stoned and fell in while taking a drink.
The croc has to see this for himself, so he asks the lizard to take him to the koala. When they get back to the tree, the croc looks up at the koala and says "Hey, you."
The koala looks down and says "Shiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?"
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| 11/11/2013 2:18:21 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
You Can't Stop The Voodoo
A businessman was about to go on a long business trip, and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence.
After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store clerk for help. The store clerk recommended the "Voodoo D*ck." "How does it work?" asked the businessman. The clerk unwrapped the Voodoo D*ck from its ceremonial tiki box and said to it, "Voodoo D*ck that door." The vibrator flew out of the box and attacked the door with such vigor that the door split in half. "Fantastic," said the man. "I'll take it!"
He instructed his wife on how to use the Voodoo D*ck and left on his business trip. Soon, his wife decided to try it out and said the magic words: "Voodoo D*ck my p*ssy." The Voodoo D*ck flew out of the box and gave her orgasm after orgasm.
But soon it became too much, and she couldn't figure out how to make it stop. So she got into her car and began driving to the hospital, swerving so much that she got pulled over by the police.
The policeman asked her why she was driving so recklessly and she explained to him that she had a Voodoo D*ck inside her that wouldn't leave her alone. The policeman looked at her skeptically and said, "Voodoo D*ck, my ass."
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| 11/13/2013 6:52:48 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
A woman on her death bed asks her husband to rush home and get a wooden box out from under their bed. The man returns home, gets the box out from under the bed and opens it to find 3 eggs and $7000.00 in cash.
He returns to the hospital and asks his wife: "Honey, why are there 3 eggs and $7000.00 in cash?" She replied: "Well, over our 35 years of marriage whenever we had bad lovemaking I would put an egg in the box." So, immediately the husband thought of himself as a love machine.
And he asked her then: "Well, what is the money for?" And she replied: "Every time I got a dozen eggs I sold them!!!!"
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| 11/14/2013 9:25:38 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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makeusmile34
Pickens, SC
38, joined Apr. 2013
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Question: If someone fabricates a wreath from hundred dolar bills;Is that,then, A wreath a' Franklins?...Discuss.
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| 11/15/2013 6:49:07 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to a class of first year medical students.
This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your a**hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.’
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.
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| 11/16/2013 8:03:04 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
In a Chicago hospital a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
"Sir," she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP and a red one labelled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstacy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."
"The button ATR is an 'automatic tampon remover' - your penis is under your pillow!"
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| 11/16/2013 8:14:39 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
[Edited 11/16/2013 8:17:09 AM ]
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| 11/16/2013 8:17:29 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
That's a popular joke...
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| 11/16/2013 9:14:16 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
|
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home care available for you. So what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years, or older, a gun (G) and 4 bullets.
You are allowed to shoot four Politicians.
Of course, this means you'll be sent to prison, where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head all the health care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered.
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now.
And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home.
And, you can get rid of 4 useless politicians while you're at it.
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what?
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| 11/17/2013 10:01:09 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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| 11/19/2013 9:58:17 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy who will sell her a bull. "It's the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it."
She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer."
The man behind the counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $. 75 per word."
She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please."
"And what word would that be?" inquires the man.
"Comfortable," replies the brunette.
The man asks, "I'm sorry miss, but is your friend gonna understand this telegram?"
The brunette replies, "My friend is blonde and reads REAL slow, when she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."
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| 11/21/2013 7:18:18 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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oliveoil1682
Lake Alfred, FL
35, joined Jun. 2010
|
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| 11/23/2013 5:43:28 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
Had to perv Tami, couldnt find this thread....
Figured Hot, would get a kick out of this pic..
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| 11/23/2013 7:16:42 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD is shit
That's right, shit! You can smoke shit, get shit faced, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, tell people to go and shit, forget shit, Some people know their shit and some have shit for brains,
There's lucky shits, dumb shits & crazy shit, there's bull shit, horse shit, chicken shit, deep shit, the wrong shit, the right shit & not enough shit, weird shit, scary shit, up shit creek without a paddle & sometimes everything you touch turns to shit.
You know what? You can give a shit.... or not if you don't give a shit. Hope you have a shit free day but remember........ Shit Happens!!!.....
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| 11/26/2013 6:47:58 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
On a famous TV game show A BLONDE contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS! "To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer." T
The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and, ...Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!?'".
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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| 11/28/2013 6:31:25 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
How to cook a turkey
1. Go buy a turkey.
2. Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) or JD.
3. Put turkey in the oven.
4. Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
5. Set the degree at 375 ovens.
6. Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
7. Turn oven the on.
8. Take 4 whisks of drinky.
9. Turk the bastey.
10. Whiskey another bottle of get.
11. Stick a turkey in the thermometer.
12. Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
13. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
14. Take the oven out of the turkey.
15. Take the oven out of the turkey.
16. Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
17. Turk the carvey.
18. Get yourself another scottle of botch.
19. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
20. Bless the saying, pass and eat out.
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| 11/28/2013 12:13:15 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
|
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| 11/29/2013 2:11:34 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sc0uting4u
Sarasota, FL
42, joined May. 2011
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| 11/30/2013 7:07:34 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
Bumpity bump
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| 12/2/2013 1:19:22 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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toreador66
Water Valley, MS
39, joined Sep. 2010
|
A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car breaks down. He gets a tow, and the mechanic explains that its an easy fix and will take about an hour. The penguin spots an ice cream spot across the road and decides to go cool off... after an hour, the penguin returns to the mechanic to check on his car. The mechanic says "no big deal, it looks like you blew a seal" to which the penguin responds "nah man, its just ice cream".
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| 12/3/2013 6:53:18 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/3/2013 6:58:03 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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vrgsayshi
Denver, CO
37, joined Apr. 2013
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Hahaha..love funny things
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| 12/3/2013 7:18:06 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”
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| 12/3/2013 8:14:05 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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clandestine12
Mayville, NY
37, joined Jul. 2013
|
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"
"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
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| 12/4/2013 3:30:48 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
That one was funny^^^
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| 12/4/2013 7:49:48 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/5/2013 3:46:32 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female…… Any part under a car’s hood. Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male….. Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n. Female….. A desire to get married and raise a family. Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book. Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female…. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion. Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male….. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes
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| 12/5/2013 3:59:19 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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fallenfrmafar
Ontario, OR
37, joined Aug. 2012
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| 12/6/2013 8:50:10 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Medicine Bow, Wyoming ...
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young Cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke,
"If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says,
"Nah, you go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with
delight.
He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili back into the bowl.
The Old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."
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| 12/6/2013 8:59:07 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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clandestine12
Mayville, NY
37, joined Jul. 2013
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| 12/11/2013 5:45:40 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old and know that they're madly in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance..Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well,we've been lucky so far..."
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| 12/12/2013 1:46:08 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/13/2013 3:24:41 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/13/2013 7:21:44 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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| 12/15/2013 8:43:15 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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oliveoil1682
Lake Alfred, FL
35, joined Jun. 2010
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| 12/15/2013 3:18:46 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
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| 12/16/2013 4:57:17 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/18/2013 5:21:11 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/20/2013 2:50:55 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
|
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"
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| 12/21/2013 10:54:39 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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| 12/21/2013 11:28:40 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
|
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while in the summer both male and female reindeer grow antlers each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. 
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| 12/23/2013 12:22:05 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
|
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| 12/23/2013 12:37:41 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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sweetmuffin74
Savannah, GA
42, joined Mar. 2012
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| 12/23/2013 6:25:57 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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| 12/24/2013 10:32:09 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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perfectarmyguy
Hays, KS
34, joined Mar. 2009
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What did budda say to the hotdog vendor
make me one with everything
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| 12/24/2013 11:26:10 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.
Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ' Beer' .
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'. In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage'.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
Please forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this ' Beer' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book
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| 12/24/2013 4:04:07 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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Must be an epidemic, here in Florida..
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| 12/25/2013 3:17:03 PM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal. The doctor says, " Gary everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
Gary replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof* the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Gary 's wife. "Marianne, he says, Gary is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof* the light goes off?"
"OH MY!" Marianne exclaims.!!!!" "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."
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| 12/31/2013 7:58:03 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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javajunkiejr
Auburndale, FL
42, joined Jan. 2013
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On a crowded train a U.S. Marine walked the entire length of the train looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a poodle belonging to a well dressed, middle aged French woman. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am may I please have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again looking for a seat, but the only seat left was the one the poodle was in.
"Please Ma'am, may I sit down, I'm very tired?"
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude you are also arrogant."
This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little poodle and tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold your fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. You drink your beer cold. And now Sir, you have thrown the wrong b*tch out the window!"
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| 12/31/2013 8:29:43 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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tami813
Tampa, FL
36, joined Oct. 2012
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| 12/31/2013 11:00:27 AM |
Tami's Daily Joke ~ cause it's always funny. |
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oliveoil1682
Lake Alfred, FL
35, joined Jun. 2010
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