Sounds like a hella lot of work for the guy. What you offering for all that effort?
3/14/2015 8:49:28 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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I read the threads about last time anyone had a date.........
Uh............I have had a date since some of the "daters"..........and I gave up dating....
And I wondered...........how many are merely saying they "date" when the reality they are doing anything but dating.
Narrowed down their list so that only 3 humans could qualify and 2 of them are gay and one is 103.......
How many refuse many chances to meet at least ...based on "something".........
Is it that there are so few ppl who actually want to date ?
Or is it that there are so few ppl willing to date anymore ?
But while they are unwilling to date...they are also unwilling to say "I don't date anymore, or for now etc" ?
Or is it the constant sexual mess.............really screwing things up for some ?
Quality ?
Quantity ?
Expectations ?
Or is dating slipping off into the ocean of the past like many other things ?
If it is ?
What is Plan B ppl ?
Just a thing that made me say "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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3/14/2015 8:53:47 PM |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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good points I was thinking about this earlier and thought about a thread but chickened out
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3/14/2015 8:54:07 PM |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
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I have no clue if people are dating or not...all i know is i am off the market for dating or otherwise because i have a beautiful man in my life....i dont think dating has gone anywhere though...i have a friend who went on quite a few dates....maybe it just looks that way if you're not dating yourself or dont have friends who date....
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3/14/2015 8:54:10 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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I read the threads about last time anyone had a date.........
Uh............I have had a date since some of the "daters"..........and I gave up dating....
And I wondered...........how many are merely saying they "date" when the reality they are doing anything but dating.
Narrowed down their list so that only 3 humans could qualify and 2 of them are gay and one is 103.......
How many refuse many chances to meet at least ...based on "something".........
Is it that there are so few ppl who actually want to date ?
Or is it that there are so few ppl willing to date anymore ?
But while they are unwilling to date...they are also unwilling to say "I don't date anymore, or for now etc" ?
Or is it the constant sexual mess.............really screwing things up for some ?
Quality ?
Quantity ?
Expectations ?
Or is dating slipping off into the ocean of the past like many other things ?
If it is ?
What is Plan B ppl ?
Just a thing that made me say "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Eyes.... I think it's fear for most people. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt. As we get older it's so hard to trust someone we don't truly give our complete heart. There is no plan B. At least not for me.
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3/14/2015 8:55:46 PM |
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vagmasterflash
Durand, WI
49, joined Nov. 2014
online now!
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I do not know. I gave up. I refuse to settle. And I'm tired of the crap available to date. And I'm busy having the greatest time I can enjoying my life. Sooo...I'm not currently dating.
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3/14/2015 8:55:49 PM |
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snhgirl
Scottsboro, AL
44, joined Nov. 2008
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Well,I had a date tonite,Got stood up!
[Edited 3/14/2015 8:57:27 PM ]
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3/14/2015 8:56:10 PM |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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my experience since being a widower and dating women in their fifties....so many seem to be looking for reasons NOT to have a relationship with me....lots of knitpicking and looking for excuses for not being involved in a relationship....it has been a rough haul dating later in life
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3/14/2015 8:57:06 PM |
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ibeenseenitall
Boca Raton, FL
34, joined Jul. 2014
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I was one to never fake it. Always under estimated and force to prove myself
[Edited 3/14/2015 8:57:37 PM ]
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3/14/2015 8:57:31 PM |
How Many Are FAKING it ? |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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Well,I had a date finite,Got stood up! it wasn't that dirty bastardo jester was it??
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3/14/2015 8:58:43 PM |
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snhgirl
Scottsboro, AL
44, joined Nov. 2008
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@Jer,No local man.Oh well.
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3/14/2015 8:59:01 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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Everyone
Sn.....I will go get the lime and a shovel
I quit dating...........based on the bs that is out there. Not worth the time to weed thru, or I didn't want to waste the time.....
Flirty, the women I know wld luv to date........but they aren't being asked. Like me they were being asked if the man could come to their home and hang out....etc.
These are gorgeous, smart women..........and they are walking away from dating also....
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3/14/2015 8:59:05 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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Well,I had a date tonite,Got stood up! Oh sorry. Thats sucks.
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3/14/2015 9:00:06 PM |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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I tend to believe Eyes as far as my age group goes....I think lots of women in their fifties even if they vocalize they want a relationship ...down inside they appear to do every thing possible to stay out of one....of course always exceptions to the rule
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3/14/2015 9:03:21 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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I do not know. I gave up. I refuse to settle. And I'm tired of the crap available to date. And I'm busy having the greatest time I can enjoying my life. Sooo...I'm not currently dating.
Yoy know... I think this is very true. I hate putting myself out there only to be disappointed over and over. But I'm hoping to find someone to laugh, love and have meaningless conversations with. I dont want to be 60 and still alone. Then 65, then 70. Yeah I'll keep trying because being alone sucks.
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3/14/2015 9:03:42 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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eyes if you lived near me I would have asked you out on a date long ago, you are a great lady. And mighty attractive I might add.
It is true I haven't dated in quite some time.
This is my observation for what its worth.
Its very difficult to find a soul mate. It is also difficult to make friends these days.
A lot of people are not very reliable, or consistent
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3/14/2015 9:05:03 PM |
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snhgirl
Scottsboro, AL
44, joined Nov. 2008
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Thanks y'all,I finally agree and this,The BS out there is getting worse.BTW,Friends set this up!
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3/14/2015 9:08:12 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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Jer....I know I said I was dating .........but I really wasn't.
I could have dated much more than I did, but I simply found tons of reasons to kill it.
Now that said ?
There are serious issues with SOME men saying things they would have never said back in the day.........or to a unknown woman's face now.......and that got old as hell........quick.
And I thought of all the things I would have to change in my life if I were in a relationship or dating someone regularly ?
And thought ?
Oh hellllllllllll no............
I would have to give up too much ....change too much.......and give too much.
Won't do it..............and that it was not fair for any man to think I was......
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3/14/2015 9:15:00 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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Yoy know... I think this is very true. I hate putting myself out there only to be disappointed over and over. But I'm hoping to find someone to laugh, love and have meaningless conversations with. I dont want to be 60 and still alone. Then 65, then 70. Yeah I'll keep trying because being alone sucks.
Why, why is being alone so bad Sky ?
I freakin love this...........come and go as please....dress as I please...bathroom is all mine.....no cleaning for two....laundry for two....eat when I want and what I want.....no dealing with the movies or shows I hate...sleep when I want and how I want....do as I want when I want....no drama...no lies....no wondering if he still loves me....if he is lying....will he be there for me........will he hurt me.......will he cheat.......
I don't have another human to please other than work............the rest of my life is 100% mine........no one can lay claim to it..
I am wondering if you have ever given yourself enough time ...........aka not dating and not looking to really see if you are okay by yourself luv ?
and T...I know you would have
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3/14/2015 9:15:39 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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but eyes, what if it were a guy who thought the world of you and had integrity, honesty, loyalty, empathy, compassion, romance? and were willing to compromise and be accommodating?
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3/14/2015 9:21:03 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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but eyes, what if it were a guy who thought the world of you and had integrity, honesty, loyalty, empathy, compassion, romance? and were willing to compromise and be accommodating?
Luv.......................he doesn't exist.
I have 12-13 hr days........I don't want to come home to someone.....I love my peace and quiet. I deal with humanity that whole time and relish coming home to quiet.
Off days I am thrilled to do as I please when I please and not be factoring in another human's wants ......selfish I know........but it is the truth.
I don't miss having to compromise..........or adjust my life.
I am at a point where I know I can't share my space with another.......just can't do it.
And not many are going for that..........
...........and I don't blame them
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3/14/2015 9:25:53 PM |
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snhgirl
Scottsboro, AL
44, joined Nov. 2008
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Eyes,You have got it together,I am not looking,My friends and family do this ever so often and its a bust,I am fine by myself,I do miss my kids being kids,Gosh time doesn't stop!
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3/14/2015 9:26:07 PM |
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playingindirt
Eugene, OR
59, joined Mar. 2014
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I don't date often but i do date.
do you know how hard it is to find an old dude that will listen to heavy metal music with me that enjoys it or at least tolerate mine? lol
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3/14/2015 9:27:27 PM |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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3/14/2015 9:28:54 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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Eyes, sorry if I came across as over bearing
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3/14/2015 9:29:17 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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@eyes the loneliness is what is so bad about being alone. When something great happens there's no one to tell. When I'm down no one to tell me it will be ok. I miss hugging, laughing, even the stupid arguments. Maybe because I was married young, kids right away. Never learned to be alone. I dont think I need any more time being alone to realize I hate being single. Married 27 yrs dated 2 yrs before that. So 29 yrs is a long time. And for most those years it was great. Probably why I want it so much. A second chance.
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3/14/2015 9:31:14 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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@eyes the loneliness is what is so bad about being alone. When something great happens there's no one to tell. When I'm down no one to tell me it will be ok. I miss hugging, laughing, even the stupid arguments. Maybe because I was married young, kids right away. Never learned to be alone. I dont think I need any more time being alone to realize I hate being single. Married 27 yrs dated 2 yrs before that. So 29 yrs is a long time. And for most those years it was great. Probably why I want it so much. A second chance.
yes the loneliness is strong
And a lot of people do want to live life with another kindred spirit
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3/14/2015 9:32:51 PM |
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hercules2010
Dubois, IN
54, joined May. 2014
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my experience since being a widower and dating women in their fifties....so many seem to be looking for reasons NOT to have a relationship with me....lots of knitpicking and looking for excuses for not being involved in a relationship....it has been a rough haul dating later in life
Yeah I'm having the same problems. Nitpick about everything. Hair isn't just right. My d*ck is too big....... The list goes on.
To me they obviously don't want to date.
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3/14/2015 9:35:04 PM |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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I run into a lot of that
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3/14/2015 9:38:40 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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I will admit the freedom to not have to be accountable to anyone but myself is good. Maybe I'm worried the longer I'm single I'll get more set in "my" ways and no one will want to be with me.
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3/14/2015 9:40:26 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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I will admit the freedom to not have to be accountable to anyone but myself is good. Maybe I'm worried the longer I'm single I'll get more set in "my" ways and no one will want to be with me.
sky we should elope
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3/14/2015 9:40:57 PM |
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jer3552
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013
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to each their own sky...to thine own self be true
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3/14/2015 9:44:50 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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Yeah I'm having the same problems. Nitpick about everything. Hair isn't just right. My d*ck is too big....... The list goes on.
To me they obviously don't want to date.
I think if you read what women are saying it all boils down to FEAR. Fear of losing freedom, fear of being hurt. I'll be very honest I almost panic when a guy I've chatted with wants to meet because then it's not just friendly talking. This is the real deal. Its scary to nurture a new relationship. I've read a lot of complaints from guys who say they've talked for months with a woman who won't meet them. For some it may be fear. Its gonna take a great man to break down those walls.
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3/14/2015 9:46:34 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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sky we should elope Im too old for you youngster.
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3/14/2015 9:50:10 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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not if you are young at heart
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3/14/2015 9:50:29 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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Sn... I am trying girl and I don't allow ppl to "set me " up ...was always a train wreck
Sky...I was either someones girlfriend or fiance since I was 11........then wife or gf.....for a total of ........umm....36 yrs.
Longest I was single was probably just a few weeks back then.
It has been 3 yrs.........lonely was the first yr.........then it started to ease. I am not sure it was actual loneliness or just so used to having another human......and so used to my time not being mine.......ever.
I wonder if you are giving yourself enough time between hunts so to speak.
To love yourself
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3/14/2015 9:52:11 PM |
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cajunmister
Kinder, LA
64, joined May. 2007
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Its gonna take a great man to break down those walls. |
3/14/2015 9:58:10 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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Its gonna take a great man to break down those walls.
Sounds like a hella lot of work for the guy. What you offering for all that effort?
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3/14/2015 10:01:03 PM |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
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Yeah I'm having the same problems. Nitpick about everything. Hair isn't just right. My d*ck is too big....... The list goes on.
To me they obviously don't want to date.
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3/14/2015 10:01:40 PM |
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cajunmister
Kinder, LA
64, joined May. 2007
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Promises, promises
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3/14/2015 10:02:41 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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Sn... I am trying girl and I don't allow ppl to "set me " up ...was always a train wreck
Sky...I was either someones girlfriend or fiance since I was 11........then wife or gf.....for a total of ........umm....36 yrs.
Longest I was single was probably just a few weeks back then.
It has been 3 yrs.........lonely was the first yr.........then it started to ease. I am not sure it was actual loneliness or just so used to having another human......and so used to my time not being mine.......ever.
I wonder if you are giving yourself enough time between hunts so to speak.
To love yourself
I was set up on a lot of blind dates, none really turned out well
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3/14/2015 10:05:06 PM |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
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Ehhhh my walls have all crumbled brick by brick...now i wanna build a chimney for a fireplace with all those left over bricks...
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3/14/2015 10:05:44 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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@eyes, I know I haven't waited long between boyfriends. I think the longest I was without some one was a year maybe? Not sure. I know after my divorce it was a yr then in a 7 yr relationship. Then anorher year or so alone. Then 1 yr relationship ended when he died. Im a longevity gal. Dating and being with some one 4 months then 10 months. Is just a lonnnnnng date. Not a relationship. That's why I hate dating. I dont want any more long dates that end after a few months. I'm too busy for that nonsense.
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3/14/2015 10:08:46 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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3/14/2015 10:09:36 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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I'm younger, so will not likely pass away on you
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3/14/2015 10:09:39 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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@Im2 good for you sweetie.
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3/14/2015 10:10:48 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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I'm younger, so will not likely pass away on you True but weren't you just making a pass at eyes??
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3/14/2015 10:11:31 PM |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
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Wellllll i just figure at my age there is just no use in piss assin around anymore....
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3/14/2015 10:12:46 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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lol, amen
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3/14/2015 10:15:27 PM |
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cajunmister
Kinder, LA
64, joined May. 2007
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IDK some at my age think they still have all the time in the world, plenty of time for games.
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3/14/2015 10:16:55 PM |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
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Not me...i dont have time for silly games...i choose to be upfront instead...it saves a lot of time and energy....
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3/14/2015 10:19:00 PM |
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tertium
Hemet, CA
47, joined Apr. 2013
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I guess am casting a wide net;
47 yrs of confirmed bachelorhood is a long time
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3/14/2015 10:23:27 PM |
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eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
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Sky, by doing what you are doing ........you are setting up nothing but short term relationships luv. You are getting in them way too quick and for all the wrong reasons ....no no hun...slow down.
And the games don't happen when it is real ya'll...........if there are games ? It isn't meant for you.........ya'll know this
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3/14/2015 10:24:28 PM |
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niterydah
Houston, TX
44, joined Jan. 2013
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.........................its like an old stephen stills song .......if you cant be with the one you love ....then love the one your with............now thats what most people dont want to do is settle for less any more
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3/14/2015 10:26:33 PM |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
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That's complete and utter bullshit...nothing like just a warm body beside you to settle for....ummmmmm no thanks...
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3/14/2015 10:27:56 PM |
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soulflight
Dayton, OH
53, joined Apr. 2014
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The single women I know/have known date or are in relationships.
I hear women say they are not dating or have given up on dating all the time. They always change their tune when they meet someone they actually want to date..myself included.
Not saying it is the same for you Medusa, only that in my experience...that statement is often just a coping mechanism, one that is openly and often said outloud.
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3/14/2015 10:32:05 PM |
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cajunmister
Kinder, LA
64, joined May. 2007
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The single women I know/have known date or are in relationships.
I hear women say they are not dating or have given up on dating all the time. They always change their tune when they meet someone they actually want to date..myself included.
Not saying it is the same for you Medusa, only that in my experience...that statement is often just a coping mechanism, one that is openly and often said outloud.
^^^^^This is what I run into. Make a fellow wonder
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3/14/2015 10:36:40 PM |
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soulflight
Dayton, OH
53, joined Apr. 2014
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^^^^^This is what I run into. Make a fellow wonder
it's pretty simple really. when a person is feeling frustrated by their dating efforts, it feels better to say it is by choice...their choice.
when somebody comes along that appears promising, if they are truly seeking and open to making the effort, they will get back in the game.
I don't think it's just a woman thing. I see men doing it too.
eta...sadly it is also easier than telling someone you just aren't interested rn them specifically.
[Edited 3/14/2015 10:37:37 PM ]
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3/14/2015 10:39:42 PM |
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machug59
Fairfield, CA
94, joined Dec. 2011
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eyes...my sweet.
You know me. You know why I haven't had any dates. I would have liked to, but I have given up on that. Oh yes, I'll hear all the people telling me it's my own doing, that it's my own issues that are the reason, that I should do this or do that to get a man. I've read all these things and more thrown out there, but in reality...would most of those women actually be happy to have a man say he will come over, maybe watch a movie and then have some hot sweaty sex? The first "date", so to speak? They would be fine with knowing that is all that they are?
3 different men, with a single idea...thinking I would be so happy to accept that.
Reading what most men on this site think and say about women, especially women older than 50, has been disheartening, to say the least.
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3/14/2015 10:42:16 PM |
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skywatcher58
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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Sky, by doing what you are doing ........you are setting up nothing but short term relationships luv. You are getting in them way too quick and for all the wrong reasons ....no no hun...slow down.
And the games don't happen when it is real ya'll...........if there are games ? It isn't meant for you.........ya'll know this If I go any slower I'll be standing still. I'm not really looking anymore. So hopefully there's a divine intervention or Mr wonderful will walk right past me and I'd never know. I think about that when I'm at the grodery store. I'll see guys whose shopping carts look like mine. Frozen dinners, pizza, cans of spagetti, chicken from the deli. Its near impossible to cook for one so I eat out a lot. Or something quick and easy. I miss real sit down meals. I hate leftovers. So I end up throwing away more food that goes bad.
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3/14/2015 10:43:55 PM |
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cajunmister
Kinder, LA
64, joined May. 2007
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it's pretty simple really. when a person is feeling frustrated by their dating efforts, it feels better to say it is by choice...their choice.
when somebody comes along that appears promising, if they are truly seeking and open to making the effort, they will get back in the game.
I don't think it's just a woman thing. I see men doing it too.
eta...sadly it is also easier than telling someone you just aren't interested rn them specifically.
IDK most guy's I know, when frustrated, switched from dating to chasing drunk easy chicks. Not so much giving up as changing strategies.
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