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10/24/2015 7:18:03 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


OK so you meet someone, they seem nice and genuinely interested in you. During the initial "first conversation" on a date or over the phone you ask them "why are they single if they're such a catch?"

In their answer they explain that they never dated someone (black, white, asian, fat, skinny, big, small, etc) and you're in one or two of those categories and dating you will be their first.

How would you take that? Would you be offended or simply see it as them being honest? Would their reason why they never did depend on how you take it? And would it make you feel awkward knowing you're their first?

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10/24/2015 9:16:02 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  
idliketotalk
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,204)
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013


"why are they single if they're such a catch?

Yes, that is an offensive question to ask anyone anytime.

10/24/2015 9:36:32 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

chefchef1957
Chisholm, MN
58, joined May. 2013


VERY,

10/24/2015 10:56:44 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  
jodee73
Ligonier, PA
60, joined Sep. 2012


Yes, that is offensive and I surely wouldn't want bothered with them.

10/24/2015 2:33:41 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from idliketotalk:
"why are they single if they're such a catch?


Believe it or not, ALL single ppl are not single for the same reasons. There are a multitude of reasons stemming from personal preferences to situation out of one's control.

Just like... all relationships aren't perfect and functional either and everyone in a relationship isn't happy or satisfied.

If I wasn't telling the truth there'd be no DH or any other dating sites. lol

10/24/2015 2:46:05 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


OK so far I have 3 ppl saying it would be offensive. But no one said WHY it's offensive.

If I met a asian or white woman who wanted to date me but told me they never dated a black man before.....

I fail to see why I should be offended. Or why I should be happy if they had. I like the fact that their first experience is with me and no one else has set a standard I'm inadvertently expected to follow.

If they have dated black men who smoked weed, got high, had alcohol issues, didn't work, etc what would they expect from me if they had?

So what makes it offensive right off the bat?

10/24/2015 3:27:41 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


I had some to tell me they want to talk to me but don't get offended, cause they never dated a black woman but they are open to it, so it's just being honest to me

10/24/2015 3:32:27 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
pagal17
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,089)
Lancaster, PA
51, joined May. 2012


Ask them why they haven't . Perhaps the opportunity never presented itself or it just never occurred to her. People expand. I wouldn't automatically assume anything negative.

10/24/2015 3:36:08 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
pagal17
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,089)
Lancaster, PA
51, joined May. 2012


Quote from packersbabe920:
I had some to tell me they want to talk to me but don't get offended, cause they never dated a black woman but they are open to it, so it's just being honest to me


Funny how when someone says, " don't be offended" usually is offensive..

Don't think they hear how crude they sound...the good news he is open to it but the bad news is he just offended you...

10/24/2015 3:38:36 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

renee398
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,739)
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015


I wouldn't find it offensive, but I would find it strange... Now once I've found it strange,I'd keep my thoughts to myself and proceed to examin his mind as he continues to speak...and oh yes I'd ask questions just to keep him speaking...

10/24/2015 3:43:51 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

flyfish77
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,069)
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014


most are offended prety easy,on here.... they go outta there way to be nasty an offensive it seems for sure,theres a few that are sweet an nice, and there soon targets of the ruffer mean asses on here. the ones in groups,women mostly,are real offended,allways and real trouble, like someone did somethin awful to them. and they seem to only like each other,so i love that an step right in.....an then shit hits the fan.and instant hate comes my way, the grudge....i do nuthin to offend, but i compliment some,an very few are nice back,..i said...very few,some are sweeties though....

10/24/2015 3:52:58 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from pagal17:
Funny how when someone says, " don't be offended" usually is offensive..

Don't think they hear how crude they sound...the good news he is open to it but the bad news is he just offended you...


Nope not at all, I guess that's why he told me not to get offended other than that he would not have wanted to talk to me to begin with and yes I ask questions regardless



[Edited 10/24/2015 3:54:18 PM ]

10/24/2015 3:57:04 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


I don't get offended easily, gonna take a lot more than that

10/24/2015 4:14:57 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
pagal17
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,089)
Lancaster, PA
51, joined May. 2012


packer...you seem to have lots of admirers here on DH. What's your secret?!

10/24/2015 4:22:59 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from pagal17:
packer...you seem to have lots of admirers here on DH. What's your secret?!



didnt know I had any, guess just being nice

10/24/2015 4:40:16 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
pagal17
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,089)
Lancaster, PA
51, joined May. 2012


Quote from packersbabe920:
didnt know I had any, guess just being nice


lol! There are threads dedicated to you, marriage proposals, lots of likes etc...if there was a DH prom queen , you'd win the crown

10/24/2015 4:51:58 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

fixingme
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,337)
New Iberia, LA
61, joined Aug. 2010


I cannot see what is offensive about asking someone why they are single. No different than asking them why they are unemployed or cannot keep a job. If I was good at getting dates 35 years ago I would have grandchildren.

10/24/2015 4:53:10 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
str8_b1tch1n
Over 2,000 Posts (3,053)
Killeen, TX
38, joined Jun. 2015


I would totally tell some one that the reason I am single is because I have never dated a different race or gender or size.

If the person says it is for those reasons then it is really because they are f_cking mental.

10/24/2015 5:01:06 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from pagal17:
lol! There are threads dedicated to you, marriage proposals, lots of likes etc...if there was a DH prom queen , you'd win the crown


Oh that's the thread me and bee madeand yes a few have made threads about me, Aww thanks

10/24/2015 7:07:41 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
iheartidiots
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,286)
Grove City, OH
39, joined Feb. 2012


Not offensive to me. But I'd question their desire to want to date me if I'm not in their type of people they date.

10/24/2015 7:16:29 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

greeleybro
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,528)
Longmont, CO
49, joined Oct. 2013


I would be honored that she chose me to be her first black man.

No reason to be offended....



[Edited 10/24/2015 7:17:02 PM ]

10/24/2015 7:25:43 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
idliketotalk
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,204)
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from idliketotalk:
"why are they single if they're such a catch?

Yes, that is an offensive question to ask anyone anytime.


It is you OP, who is being offensive by asking "why are they single if they're such a catch".

10/24/2015 7:39:06 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

flyfish77
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,069)
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014


and there you go, these on here cant answer a question without ..f this an f..that an being very offensive...GIRLS....yes thats a nice smart woman,an sweet,but so are others like..starr..and and..well. theres more.......they ,some need there asses busted like a mean teen daughter of like 11 or so.......



[Edited 10/24/2015 7:39:52 PM ]

10/24/2015 9:07:32 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from pagal17:
Funny how when someone says, " don't be offended" usually is offensive..

Don't think they hear how crude they sound...the good news he is open to it but the bad news is he just offended you...


When someone say "*Don't be offended" before expressing themselves... to me... it's bcuz they're aware of how offensive it sounds and/or that ppl have labeled it offensive on a social... and that's not their intent.

Bcuz if someone wanted to intentionally offend you they tell you NOT to be offended before or they couldn't accomplish being offensive.

10/24/2015 11:00:31 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

nurseshanna1972
Over 2,000 Posts (2,305)
San Marcos, TX
43, joined Oct. 2013


I am always one that will follow the honesty path with them and let them know what I think. I will not critisize their thoughts on who to date but will let them know why I will not date them and end the conversation.

10/24/2015 11:14:15 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

stasisbane
Over 2,000 Posts (2,598)
Irondale, MO
46, joined Jul. 2009


does it really matter? Why be offended over a conversation? I'd prefer they spill it rather than hide it, and go with what I feel. We either click or we don't, being offended would be more indicative of my insecurities than hers.

10/25/2015 7:51:13 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

hippo65
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,039)
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Apr. 2013


Wouldn't be offended..
Little off topic but once I received a respond saying she isn't interested dating me because I am European and those guys think women are less than men..Not equal..

So in that case I was just dumbfounded, and told her she is not well informed, ad I heard middle eastern men are like that.
And yes, I did also told her to go out with me so I can show it's not true, but she said "sure you will be nice for a week or two, than your real personality will come out".
So I never found out where did she got all that about Europeans.

10/25/2015 8:06:48 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

chefchef1957
Chisholm, MN
58, joined May. 2013


Because she a nice person.

10/25/2015 8:52:52 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

soulflight
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,054)
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from pagal17:
packer...you seem to have lots of admirers here on DH. What's your secret?!


She is kind and authentic.

Other bonuses...She doesn't suffer fools and she NEVER creates or feeds the drama.

OT..not offensive to ask or to answer BUT it all depends on how it is asked or said. Even the simplest of words can be said with a tone that cuts to the bone.



[Edited 10/25/2015 8:55:36 AM ]

10/25/2015 9:04:10 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,971)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from iheartidiots:
Not offensive to me. But I'd question their desire to want to date me if I'm not in their type of people they date.
I was going to say this, but iheart beat me to it.

I don't find it offensive. I know many women, that do not date white guys. If one suddenly decided to try it, I would be skeptical, at first. Eventually, either my insecurities are going to be squashed or reinforced, depending on how the relationship continues.

Since physical attractions are being proven more, and more to be linked to our genetics, it shouldn't be taken offensively.

10/25/2015 2:11:17 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from soulflight:
She is kind and authentic.

Other bonuses...She doesn't suffer fools and she NEVER creates or feeds the drama.

OT..not offensive to ask or to answer BUT it all depends on how it is asked or said. Even the simplest of words can be said with a tone that cuts to the bone.




Aww thanks soul, you're such a sweetheart

10/25/2015 3:19:43 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

soulflight
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,054)
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from packersbabe920:
Aww thanks soul, you're such a sweetheart


you are very welcome...you are a true lady.

10/25/2015 8:16:00 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (55,873)
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013


U are too

10/25/2015 10:35:14 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Maybe a more palatable answer from her may have been something like "I dated a certain type and woke up and decided maybe I should broaden my horizons. Perhaps limiting myself to this certain ideal I had in my dating style was limiting my opportunity to find who I really wanted in my life"

It sounds like maybe she was growing as a human being and that is a great thing!

10/26/2015 12:08:29 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (48,502)
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
online now!


I'd appreciate her honesty and never ask her out again. Seems to me you may as well cut your losses before you have any real time involved especially when there's a high likelihood she's going to dump you sooner than later.

10/26/2015 5:40:01 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

latinleprekahn
Over 1,000 Posts (1,181)
South San Francisco, CA
46, joined Sep. 2014


Quote from im_smilee_face:
Maybe a more palatable answer from her may have been something like "I dated a certain type and woke up and decided maybe I should broaden my horizons. Perhaps limiting myself to this certain ideal I had in my dating style was limiting my opportunity to find who I really wanted in my life"

It sounds like maybe she was growing as a human being and that is a great thing!



This!!!!

10/26/2015 11:24:12 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

ctr916v2
Over 2,000 Posts (3,377)
Roseville, CA
53, joined Nov. 2014


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
OK so you meet someone, they seem nice and genuinely interested in you. During the initial "first conversation" on a date or over the phone you ask them "why are they single if they're such a catch?"

In their answer they explain that they never dated someone (black, white, asian, fat, skinny, big, small, etc) and you're in one or two of those categories and dating you will be their first.

How would you take that? Would you be offended or simply see it as them being honest? Would their reason why they never did depend on how you take it? And would it make you feel awkward knowing you're their first?


Nice rap. I commend her "client relations" skills.

10/26/2015 1:33:07 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,537)
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
OK so you meet someone, they seem nice and genuinely interested in you. During the initial "first conversation" on a date or over the phone you ask them "why are they single if they're such a catch?"

In their answer they explain that they never dated someone (black, white, asian, fat, skinny, big, small, etc) and you're in one or two of those categories and dating you will be their first.

How would you take that? Would you be offended or simply see it as them being honest? Would their reason why they never did depend on how you take it? And would it make you feel awkward knowing you're their first?


I would definitely give her an award for not putting a steak knife in your eye for asking her that question and in such a callous manner ...if you're at all civilized this question trumps all the dumb questions a man can ask a woman!!!

10/26/2015 8:14:05 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from up2youandme:
I would definitely give her an award for not putting a steak knife in your eye for asking her that question and in such a callous manner ...if you're at all civilized this question trumps all the dumb questions a man can ask a woman!!!


What I find more offensive and dumb is to not ask a woman any questions. There is nothing more offensive than being told who you are, what you think, how you feel, and what your motivation is.

I'm giving the OP a couple of points for putting a question mark at the end of his sentence It seems to be a very difficult thing for people to do these days from what I have experienced and especially with online forum posters.

Maybe that is why they both met in the first place

10/26/2015 8:25:40 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,537)
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from im_smilee_face:
What I find more offensive and dumb is to not ask a woman any questions. There is nothing more offensive than being told who you are, what you think, how you feel, and what your motivation is.

I'm giving the OP a couple of points for putting a question mark at the end of his sentence It seems to be a very difficult thing for people to do these days from what I have experienced and especially with online forum posters.

Maybe that is why they both met in the first place


First you say ..you're offended being told who you are and sh#t ...and then you concluded with ...maybe that's why they met ...

So its okay for you to tell them who they are but you get offended if you were told who you are ?

Line up your ducks lady !!!

10/26/2015 8:34:21 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from up2youandme:
First you say ..you're offended being told who you are and sh#t ...and then you concluded with ...maybe that's why they met ...

So its okay for you to tell them who they are but you get offended if you were told who you are ?

Line up your ducks lady !!!


Touche'

I didn't really think that was a statement of fact .. I'll work on my delivery of playful wondering ...



[Edited 10/26/2015 8:37:58 PM ]

10/26/2015 8:52:49 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,537)
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from im_smilee_face:
Touche'

I didn't really think that was a statement of fact .. I'll work on my delivery of playful wondering ...


Yeah you could use a little practice on that lol

10/26/2015 9:10:57 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,537)
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from im_smilee_face:
Maybe a more palatable answer from her may have been something like "I dated a certain type and woke up and decided maybe I should broaden my horizons. Perhaps limiting myself to this certain ideal I had in my dating style was limiting my opportunity to find who I really wanted in my life"

It sounds like maybe she was growing as a human being and that is a great thing!


More palatable? You're suggesting a sugar coated dagger?

Limiting yourself to this certain ideal ? Isn't that what it's supposed to do? Or did you just mean lowering your standards?

10/26/2015 10:20:13 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from up2youandme:
More palatable? You're suggesting a sugar coated dagger?

Limiting yourself to this certain ideal ? Isn't that what it's supposed to do? Or did you just mean lowering your standards?


No I do believe I said broadening her horizons.

I use to think I was not attracted to blonds or chest hair .. Well guess what? Had I not broadend my horizons I would not be insanely attracted to and get to look at and touch my blond haired furry chested man every night

I think we ALL THINK at some point in our lives we KNOW what we like and what we are attracted to and something in us says ... Maybe I don't know everyting

and thats when the best stuff often happens to me anyway ... Bad shit has happened too. But more good than bad.



[Edited 10/26/2015 10:22:09 PM ]

10/26/2015 11:57:34 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,537)
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from im_smilee_face:
No I do believe I said broadening her horizons.

I use to think I was not attracted to blonds or chest hair .. Well guess what? Had I not broadend my horizons I would not be insanely attracted to and get to look at and touch my blond haired furry chested man every night

I think we ALL THINK at some point in our lives we KNOW what we like and what we are attracted to and something in us says ... Maybe I don't know everyting

and thats when the best stuff often happens to me anyway ... Bad shit has happened too. But more good than bad.


My bad ...I didn't realize your grasp of human relations are limited to a superficial level...

And no we all don't think we have a set of guidelines on who to be attracted to ...predisposition is an insanely complex issue to some and I understand that. To some of us picking a partner is not like picking a car...

My experience tells me I have no control on who I fall for. To me it's not a question of broadening my horizons or in simplier term i know all cars roll on four wheels ...

10/27/2015 2:24:12 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

Chounu
Mountlake Terrace, WA
22, joined Oct. 2015


It would not offend me, simply because it just wouldn't.

10/27/2015 9:35:44 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from up2youandme:
My bad ...I didn't realize your grasp of human relations are limited to a superficial level...

And no we all don't think we have a set of guidelines on who to be attracted to ...predisposition is an insanely complex issue to some and I understand that. To some of us picking a partner is not like picking a car...

My experience tells me I have no control on who I fall for. To me it's not a question of broadening my horizons or in simplier term i know all cars roll on four wheels ...


I see you go with the "not to be honest about yourself" attitude

Just because I personal did not think I was DRAWN to blonds does mean I am superficial silly ..

I also was blind by marriage for 28 years

Can you relate?



10/27/2015 9:39:45 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from idliketotalk:
It is you OP, who is being offensive by asking "why are they single if they're such a catch".


OK before going off and attacking me allow me to clarify a few things please.

First, I am NOT nor would I ever ask someone "if you're such a catch then why are you single!" I don't even know where you got that from my friend.

Secondly, the offense I'm speaking of is when someone (who's interested in you) tells YOU that THEY never dated someone like YOU (black, white, Asian, Russian, French, etc).

An example would be... a white guy telling a blk woman he's interested in that he never dated a blk woman before and she would be his first. And she gets offended at the mentioning of race difference.

Or...

A white woman being offended if told that by a blk man.

A full-figured woman being told this by an average or very well built man.

Someone with a disability being told this by someone seemingly healthy.

But nowhere in my thread did I say anything about telling someone "if you're such a catch then why are you single!?"

10/27/2015 9:47:03 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
OK so you meet someone, they seem nice and genuinely interested in you. During the initial "first conversation" on a date or over the phone you ask them "why are they single if they're such a catch?"

In their answer they explain that they never dated someone (black, white, asian, fat, skinny, big, small, etc) and you're in one or two of those categories and dating you will be their first.

How would you take that? Would you be offended or simply see it as them being honest? Would their reason why they never did depend on how you take it? And would it make you feel awkward knowing you're their first?


OP he got that from your post here

10/27/2015 9:54:06 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

falpeter
Sao Paulo
Brazil
27, joined Jul. 2014


Why would this be offensive?

I never dated a black person before....not because I am racist, but as just happen that I have never been attracted to you so far. There are tons of beautiful black women out there, and none of them were interested.....doesn't mean I never did want it, means I never had the opportunity before.

Just something to start talking....


Why every little comment offend you people?

10/27/2015 10:05:06 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from hippo65:
Wouldn't be offended..
Little off topic but once I received a respond saying she isn't interested dating me because I am European and those guys think women are less than men..Not equal..

So in that case I was just dumbfounded, and told her she is not well informed, ad I heard middle eastern men are like that.
And yes, I did also told her to go out with me so I can show it's not true, but she said "sure you will be nice for a week or two, than your real personality will come out".
So I never found out where did she got all that about Europeans.


A wise man once told me.... Once a woman get something in her head as true, it IS true. Not bcuz it's real but bcuz in her mind it's true.

If she thinks you're cheating YOU ARE CHEATING! Not bcuz it's real but bcuz she convinced herself it's true. And nothing YOU do can change it.

If you come straight home from... then you cheated on the job. If you're never on the phone when she walks in... you just hung up from her. If she find no txt messages, naked pics or facebook evidence... it's bcuz you already deleted it. If you treat her nice and respectful... it's bcuz you're guilty of something you're not admitting to. If you cut off a friend or family member... it's bcuz they have something on you and you don't want them to. tell.

If you change your cologne or start wearing some... it's bcuz your "other woman" likes it. And the list goes on.

And even though she NEVER found any evidence of your cheating (bcuz there is no cheating), in her mind SHE JUST HAVEN'T CAUGHT YOU YET!!! You've always been one step ahead of her. Which makes her relentless in catching you. So be thankful she turned you down brah.

10/27/2015 10:17:18 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from im_smilee_face:
Maybe a more palatable answer from her may have been something like "I dated a certain type and woke up and decided maybe I should broaden my horizons. Perhaps limiting myself to this certain ideal I had in my dating style was limiting my opportunity to find who I really wanted in my life"

It sounds like maybe she was growing as a human being and that is a great thing!


I agree with this 150% Growing as a human being is ALWAYS a good thing. But when trying new things you never know really how its gonna turn out until you try it.

It's like food...lol Something you never eaten before can smell and look good enough try wanna try but it's not until you taste it can you say you like it.

Right?

10/27/2015 10:49:12 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
A wise man once told me.... Once a woman get something in her head as true, it IS true. Not bcuz it's real but bcuz in her mind it's true.

If she thinks you're cheating YOU ARE CHEATING! Not bcuz it's real but bcuz she convinced herself it's true. And nothing YOU do can change it.

If you come straight home from... then you cheated on the job. If you're never on the phone when she walks in... you just hung up from her. If she find no txt messages, naked pics or facebook evidence... it's bcuz you already deleted it. If you treat her nice and respectful... it's bcuz you're guilty of something you're not admitting to. If you cut off a friend or family member... it's bcuz they have something on you and you don't want them to. tell.

If you change your cologne or start wearing some... it's bcuz your "other woman" likes it. And the list goes on.

And even though she NEVER found any evidence of your cheating (bcuz there is no cheating), in her mind SHE JUST HAVEN'T CAUGHT YOU YET!!! You've always been one step ahead of her. Which makes her relentless in catching you. So be thankful she turned you down brah.


OP ... Do you REALLY believe that is a woman thing?

That is a trust issue and all humans men and women alike are susceptible to these problems ... JS

10/27/2015 10:52:01 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  
im_smilee_face
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Dec. 2014


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
I agree with this 150% Growing as a human being is ALWAYS a good thing. But when trying new things you never know really how its gonna turn out until you try it.

It's like food...lol Something you never eaten before can smell and look good enough try wanna try but it's not until you taste it can you say you like it.

Right?


Thank you for understanding what I was trying to convey here ...



10/27/2015 8:03:22 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  
aintmyb_tch
Over 2,000 Posts (3,644)
Ponchatoula, LA
96, joined Aug. 2015


Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
OK so you meet someone, they seem nice and genuinely interested in you. During the initial "first conversation" on a date or over the phone you ask them "why are they single if they're such a catch?"

In their answer they explain that they never dated someone (black, white, asian, fat, skinny, big, small, etc) and you're in one or two of those categories and dating you will be their first.

How would you take that? Would you be offended or simply see it as them being honest? Would their reason why they never did depend on how you take it? And would it make you feel awkward knowing you're their first?


Well the first question is offensive.

10/27/2015 9:15:30 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

up2youandme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,537)
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from aintmyb_tch:
Well the first question is offensive.


Second that !!!

10/27/2015 11:49:07 PM Honesty Or Offensive?  

jjp184
Over 1,000 Posts (1,331)
Somerset, NJ
52, joined Jun. 2013
online now!


These online losers couldn't tell the truth if their pathetic lives depended on it, they are single because nobody needs dead weight

10/28/2015 1:33:59 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

falpeter
Sao Paulo
Brazil
27, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from jjp184:
These online losers couldn't tell the truth if their pathetic lives depended on it, they are single because nobody needs dead weight


The way you said it was not needed, but, you got a point.

Because, honestly, people feel offended by everything!

Think about it: the person is already in a date with ya, and he actually ask you, or affirms that never dated a black person before.....WHY WOULD he/she DONE THAT, IF THEY ARE ALREADY IN A DATE WITH YOU

HE IS A BLOODY MASOQUIST, or JUST NUTS?

Now I am not mister "I know everything", but this is kind common sense.....

10/29/2015 1:44:03 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from up2youandme:
I would definitely give her an award for not putting a steak knife in your eye for asking her that question and in such a callous manner ...if you're at all civilized this question trumps all the dumb questions a man can ask a woman!!!


So far you and idliketotalk seem to have the same thought and maybe some others.

Group verification...

My very first sentence started "OK so YOU meet someone..." YOU being the key word, NOT ME!!!

The part of my thread that anyone should be focusing on is being offended if someone tell you "they never dated someone like YOU" not me.

I've ALWAYS said and still stay MY THREADS ARE NOT ABOUT ME and said it enough for forum regulars to understand that.

But it's negative thinking like yours that causes so much hostility in a simple discussion. If you wasn't sure if I was talking about me or not ;ASKING.... ASKING.... ASKING me woulda been better than ASSUMING then attacking my character like I'm unable to talk to a woman when you know NOTHING about me bcuz I told you nothing about me.

So can we PLEASE quit with the assumptions and have a normal adult conversation? Please?

10/29/2015 1:50:56 AM Honesty Or Offensive?  

dr_i_got_answer
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,644)
Gwynn Oak, MD
49, joined Jun. 2014
online now!


Quote from im_smilee_face:
What I find more offensive and dumb is to not ask a woman any questions. There is nothing more offensive than being told who you are, what you think, how you feel, and what your motivation is.

I'm giving the OP a couple of points for putting a question mark at the end of his sentence It seems to be a very difficult thing for people to do these days from what I have experienced and especially with online forum posters.

Maybe that is why they both met in the first place


Thank you baby for a grown up, adult response. And if it had been me you would be 150% One of the main purposes of meeting IS to ask questions which is the first step in getting to know someone.

And for you "not so adult" thinkers.... How something come across in written words is a 720° difference from how those words are spoken. Even someone with an 8th grade education would know that.