11/24/2007 8:20:12 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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renesant
Madison, AL
age: 49
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damn slow if you wanted to be shark bait why not chum for 30 minutes and jump in?
the fact that you ask tells me you have'nt. being confined to bed can get painful in itself,and depressing to see,you might try getting some olive oil or her fav body cream and giving her a massage paying special attention to her back,hands and feet.it might rekindle something for you that can fill this void you have.(in the bible this is refered to as the laying on of hands)and can be very spiritual if you want it to be.
and please don't take yankees advice.
[Edited 11/24/2007 8:22:16 AM]
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11/24/2007 8:37:09 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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goobalicious43
Franklin, TN
age: 47
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Slowhand,first of all let me say that I am very sorry for what you and your wife are going through.I lost both of my parents to cancer and watched them both slowly decline in health.My Dad passed away in 1995,and my mother stayed with him for 5 long years right by his side(they were married for 45 yrs)All of her family and friends didn't ask "how is he doing" every time they called or visted,because they knew,they were "true" friends and family,they were there when she needed some to talk to or just a break in the monotney.Slow, I think now is the time that you need to look back and see all that you and your wife have done together,places you been,times well spent,children,and everything that has involved the two of you.If you loved her enough to marry her,you should be strong enough to stand beside her when she needs you the most,there is alot more to love than just having sex and being able to do everyday things,love is a comittment to stand with each other side by side as ONE.If all you need is companionship,you should have at least have a couple of friends that you can turn to and talk to and that care enough about you to not let you go thru this alone.And if you don't have any friends like that, you can turn to someone who is all of our friend,his initials are JC and he has helped a many a man (woman) thru some hard times.Keep your head up buddy,and if your ever out Tennessee way,look me up and I'll show you some great places to ride.
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11/24/2007 9:17:04 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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nvr4gttn
Yelm, WA
age: 45
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ya thats love???
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11/24/2007 9:32:52 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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nvr4gttn
Yelm, WA
age: 45
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i got to thinking about this post an it really PISSES ME OFF to no end to think that you would even be thinking about dating while your partner is dying...where is the LOVE? this is jmo but you would think that you would be LOVIN this partner til they passed away before you went lookin for another...as for me i want a man that when i'm ready to exit this big ole world, would be crawled up in bed with me holding me til i died...now that my friend is LOVE...jmo (just to get a nut off, come on)
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11/24/2007 12:01:19 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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rich101
Lillington, NC
age: 51
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Slowhand, it is good that you let out your emotions, wise decision on your part. By not putting it out it can eat you up like the illness she has. By you posting this shows that you do care. Answer this Question, Do you LOVE her? To date while she is alive; shows that you are a cheater, self centered, and emotionally week, and one that rather give up than fight. Is it hard on you? DAM STRAIGHT. Buck up bucko, think of how hard it is for her. Give her all the love she disserves, give her laughter, show her you care. You will be surprised how much easer it gets. And you will feel better in the long run.
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11/24/2007 12:52:54 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 49 online now!
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May I suggest a support group? Oftentimes the primary caregiver(that sounds like you Slowhand) needs a sympathetic ear and respite care so he/she can get a break for the tasks of caregiving. I'm in the insurance/investment field. Long term care is one of the areas I sell to clients BEFORE they need it so they can have a skilled care provider come into their home(if they don't need more intensive care) or they can go to an assisted care living facility or nursing home depending upon the severity of their physical and mental challenges. A study was recently completed by the Institute of Aging that shows the toll caregiving extracts on the primary caregiver. It is much more draining to care for a patient with mental/neurological problems, ie: dementia and alzheimers than those with just physical infirmities. Aside from the mental, emotional and physical toll on the caregiver employers wind up with employees that need to take time off or even quit their jobs because they need to care for a loved one.
I have clients who have taken care of an aging parent that swear they will never put their spouse and/or child in that position.
Morally, I can't even begin to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Perhaps those in a support group who have walked in your shoes would be the ones to offer advice based upon their personal experiences.
Good luck!
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11/24/2007 12:58:30 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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lasttime4me
Townsend, MT
age: 63 online now!
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If I was terminally ill and my wife was screwing someone before I was dead I believe I would out live her.
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11/24/2007 1:10:17 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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akewldewd
Flushing, MI
age: 51
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There was a movie produced about this very subject. I forget the title. But the woman/man dieing actually tried to setup the spouse so he/she wouldn't have to be alone.
I am not saying either way what is right or wrong. Who am I to judge. I have no idea how it feels to be in that situation.
Anyway, no matter what... this is a hard one. it brought tears to my eyes the depth of the emotion involved is great.
How hard it must be to be in that situation.
I agree that you should seek help from a support group of somekind. and I would surely hope I would have at least one true friend that could help me cope.
I wish I knew what to say, but I don't. I just feel sad that life can deal such low blows.
I guess you have to do what is in your heart. Let that lead you in the right direction. In doing so, I bet it all works out as best as it can under such poor circumstances.
Best of luck.
Norm
[Edited 11/24/2007 1:11:29 PM]
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11/24/2007 1:23:34 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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carolinabrat
Summerville, SC
age: 56
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His post at 11:08 corrected and explained some things. He didn't mean "date" is was wanting more of someone to vent to. I am going through some things of my own here and I will tell you that nobody needs friends as much as they do when they are the caretakers. He has proved he good people by that way he has stayed by her side and cared for her for 3yrs thus far. He just wants to know if it is ok to have someone to lean on and vent his feelings too. Wondering if even that is too much, shows character. JMO
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11/24/2007 1:24:16 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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daddy_s
Oak Ridge, TN
age: 27
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11/24/2007 1:29:00 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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akewldewd
Flushing, MI
age: 51
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Someone stated:
He just wants to know if it is ok to have someone to lean on and vent his feelings too.
Heck yes, I think it's ok. I think at some point he would need it. But not knowing all the circumstances here. I say just be careful and remember the golden rule.
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11/24/2007 1:41:24 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Slow Im so sorry for what your going through.
I had a friend whos wife was dying a slow death from breast cancer. He was by her side every day, he took her to every medical facility that might give a glimmer of hope. She was aware of how lonely he was and she told him to go out and be happy.
I dont know how your wife feels or all the circumstances but I do know that you do need someone to talk to..a friend only to go to a movie or out to dinner but it has to stay friends.
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11/24/2007 2:43:22 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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lookinghere
Morrisville, VT
age: 36
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11/24/2007 2:49:10 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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v2_1
McHenry, IL
age: 45
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People, if you can't be bothered to read an entire thread, don't think your comments add any value. Those of you who haven't read thru this and posted hateful things are making yourselves look like asses. JMHO
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11/24/2007 3:11:14 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Thank you y2 and Hank you sound like a wonderful man with deep feelings and great insight.
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