11/24/2007 4:19:03 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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lo_sue
El Paso, TX
age: 34
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NO
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11/24/2007 5:42:03 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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aboveandbeyound
Doniphan, MO
age: 45
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I know what its like to be slowly dying and have your woman leave you because of you situation. I had a hereditary desease that destroyed my lungs over a 10 year period. It hurt me so much that I refuse to see anyone during the whole time I was ill. I had a double lung transplant last year and now dating again. But I am always leary of woman without true feelings for me.
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11/24/2007 6:34:14 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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slowhand1843
Orangeburg, SC
age: 51
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Damn Where do I start? I am not a person who often expresses my emotions publicly, and after some of the responces to this post I know why. For those who offered me advise either way, but without sarcasim or contempt, I thank you. Some one posted that it sounded as though I was having a pity party for myself......well maybe I was. I am not proud of it but those days do come occasionally. I normally deal with them on my own and i guess from now on I will keep them locked up. Some posted about seeing a support group, when should I do this at 6 am before work(need to keep insurance)or after I get home and prepare diner. I could always skip the laundry on Saturdays, but I dont think Laine would appreciate the dirty sheets,or the messy house.
For those who posted with understanding or with an open mind thank you.
I guess before I laid my soul on the line I should have been more in touch with the people who frequent this sight. I would have saved myself alot of grief.
Thanks to you all
Ron
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11/24/2007 6:39:03 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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carolinabrat
Summerville, SC
age: 56
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Hugs
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11/24/2007 6:59:35 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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steveredman
Spotswood, NJ
age: 37
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Slow, be truthful to your heart. I am sure that you still love your wife. You should look to see if there are any support groups in your area.
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11/24/2007 7:07:25 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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libraliz
South Bend, IN
age: 53
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Ron, my brother's wife suffered with MS for over 20 years, going from walking with a cane through the end at a nursing home. I don't know how he managed to go through it but he stood by her until the end. There were many years she was bed ridden. I would suggest, as others have, that you join a local support group and express your feelings with others who are going through the a similar situation. Hospice is a wonderful group of people who have taken care of my parents who both died of cancer. Good luck and hang in there! Liz
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11/24/2007 7:21:10 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44
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NO! Not until it's terminal. As in over. You should stand by your partner until then.
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11/24/2007 8:48:41 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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yankeeluvspeach
Athens, GA
age: 29
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Slowhand,
you've got to mentally weed out all of the jerks and people that post their feelings without bothering to read previous posts. It sounds like you're fundamentally just lonely for equal adult contact, as your wife is no longer able to match your taking care of her. As other people have suggested, make use of this, and other online support groups to help you through. It sounds like you're fairly restricted in what you can do in terms of leaving her alone at this point, but at least with online, you can not feel so alone, while still being near by. I guess what I was trying to say earlier is, although it may be difficult and awkward, talk to your wife about all of your feelings, of the exhaustion, solitude, etc. She can't take care of you anymore, but that doesn't mean she wants you to suffer. Maybe between the two of you, you can figure out some way financially to get a care taker in to releive you part of the time or at least let her see just how much you care for her by putting yourself through all of this. In short, don't suffer in silence. As someone else said, if you're not ok, how will you be able to take care of her. I am NOT advocating anything, except keeping the lines of communication open between you and your wife. Is her mental capacity impaired or just her physical? Like I said, ignore all of the JERKS out there who are just trying to get a rise out of anyone they can. Those kinds of people never mentally grew up. It sounds like you're trying to approach this from an adult perspective. And as someone else pointed out, faith can be an invaluable resource in times like this. I'm agnostic, so I'm not going to push for Jesus or any other particular faith, but whatever holds truth for you. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. If you're ever absolutely going bonkers, let me know and I'll drive up to SC to hang out around your kitchen table. I make a mean cup of tea. Plus, I'm a straight dude, so there's no risk of people getting the wrong idea.
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11/24/2007 8:57:05 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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tlc516
West Mifflin, PA
age: 47
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Slowhand I lived your life for 7 years and I understand completely. I was very tempted and found that just talking to others about it helped alot. I remained faithful even though we were not married. He wanted to marry me even though he was dying. We married about 100 days before he died. If I had the opportunity to do it all over again I would have changed nothing except to get married sooner. If you need to talk to someone who has been there please feel free to contact me.
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11/24/2007 9:02:30 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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all_me
Las Vegas, NV
age: 36
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Your an extremely selfish person..... you obviously have no idea what love is.... I feel so sorry for your partner.... she deserves better then you loser!
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11/24/2007 9:14:34 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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yankeeluvspeach
Athens, GA
age: 29
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ok, I'm gonna do the next part in caps so shield your eyes if it bothers you. This only applies to some of the people who've posted here.
STOP!!!! READ THROUGH ALL THE F*CKING POSTS BEFORE YOU COMMENT!! DON'T MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE MORE OF AN ASS THAN NECESSARY!!! THIS MAN HAS ALREADY ADMITTED THAT HE USED THE WRONG WORD!! HE IS NOT LOOKING FOR DATES OR SEX OR ANY OF THAT. SO SPEND SOME DAMN TIME GETTING TO KNOW HIS SITUATION BEFORE YOU MAKE A SNAP JUDGEMENT. THANK YOU.
we now return you to your normally scheduled postings.
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11/24/2007 9:21:57 PM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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dazlinbynature
Fort Calhoun, NE
age: 50
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Thanks yankee for putting out there what was needed!
Slow, I think the suggestions for the support groups are your best avenue at this point, especially if your friends are unwilling to be the support you need.
Best to you and you are in my prayers.
xoDaz
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11/25/2007 4:19:53 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Yankee thank you for saying what you did..I was just going to lambast some people on here..
All_mes post doesnt surprise me coming from a self centered blonde..that was harsh and cruel and evidently she didnt read the whole thread.
I feel so badly for Bam..he opened himself us and got a bad rap due to the ignorance of some people.
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11/25/2007 4:50:57 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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stellablue
Saint Louis, MO
age: 49
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Thanks yankee...I like the thoughtful, directness of your posts.
IT NEEDED TO BE SAID! Read the whole post people.
Ron, scary to throw it out there, get slammed..yet you found people who get it, also. The ones that don't? Wouldn't wish it on anyone, yet maybe it will open their heart at some point.
I learn about people through every post, myself and them. Our reactions are usually based on our life experiences. Then there are those to actively learn about things to help people. Thank God for that! Where would we be if we only had our knowledge to see us through life.
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11/25/2007 4:52:31 AM |
is it ok to date if your partner is terminally ill |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Good post Stella....
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