| 9/11/2010 8:21:29 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 3 |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Today is a good day to welcome you ladies to our widows/ers group....There is never a
good day to meet widows especially on todays date 9/11 the anniversary of 9/11
which remembers the horrible day that made more widows and widowers than any day in the
history of this great nation of ours. 
So a big welcome and a Hug to Rebee...Mindel...and Im Felineitty and we hope you will
visit with us...have a  and join in..if you need to rant..cry..smile or whatever
just join in you will find every one here will help anyway we can...as most or all
have been there...where you are today and understand how you feel and will offer any
answers we can to your problems...make yourself at home and join in like you have
known us all your life....Welcome  
A big welcome to Cammie also
[Edited 9/11/2010 8:23:33 PM ]
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| 9/12/2010 8:27:12 AM |
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shastabella
Lewistown, PA
61, joined Sep. 2010
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I'm new to this site. My name is Lorie and in Nov. of 2008 we found out that my husband had stage 4 lung cancer. He got it from being exposed to Agent Orange when he was in Vietnam. He passed away on 4 Feb 2009, about a month before our 27th wedding anniversary. We did have hospice come in to help, but the majority of his care was done by me. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I have no regrets. I still miss him and I will always love him. We have one son who is 25. He was a big help to me when his dad was sick and he still helps me a lot.
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| 9/13/2010 7:15:10 PM |
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funirish68
Patterson, NY
73, joined Sep. 2009
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,
My name is May
i just found this site ,Like all of you i lost my husband after almost 43 years of marrage,jan 20 07I
i not sure if it ever gets better as tonight i m feeling very londly but it was good to read all your very sad stories
I still dont sleep all night i work part time babysit part time keep busy but when i come home to empty house
Its gets to me.It helped to read all of your lost and to know im not alone.
May
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| 9/13/2010 7:21:44 PM |
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snakepond
Somerset, KY
53, joined May. 2010
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Hello May, What can I say to help get you to daylight. You are right we do know how you feel. Just take it one hour at a time. You have been at this longer than me. I will say a prayer for you.
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| 9/13/2010 8:12:20 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 3 |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Welcome to our widow/ers group..Lorie..May..Cammie we are sorry for your losses but we are here to try and lift some of the burden off you and like Cammie said help you with the lonesomeness one hour/day/or week at the time....offer our compassion,understanding
and love to assist you if possible...we have all been there...where you are now...we would ask you to join in and if you see anything that interest you feel free to ask,comment or laugh with us,or praywith us,or just try and hang in and make it any way
we can...Welcome
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| 9/14/2010 3:17:20 PM |
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seventhsign09
Fort Worth, TX
45, joined May. 2010
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Just wanted to say hello to everyone. I am new to this as well & have been widowed since March.
Hugs to all those who are missing their loved one.
Karen
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| 9/14/2010 5:55:50 PM |
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manateehi
Cape Coral, FL
74, joined Dec. 2007
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Don't give up, your not damaged goods, and I know how you feel. I lost my hubby of 25 years ago and I still have not met or dated anyone. It just feels odd. It ill all work out for you.
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| 9/14/2010 10:58:19 PM |
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damskippy
Kaysville, UT
47, joined Sep. 2010
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Hello friends
It would seem we all have something in common with one another. I have lost my best friend of seventeen years… hart attack… I often wonder did I love her more than her hart could handle but when you both look at each other and say at the same time the same type of dinner you want then you know you were meant for each other.
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| 9/15/2010 6:14:22 AM |
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atokagal
Atoka, TN
54, joined May. 2010
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Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I lost my husband in Dec. 08 having having a bone marrow transplant. I miss him like crazy,but I am trying to go on with life. I was in school taking some business classes when he passed away. I am just now getting back into taking my classes. It's a hard road, but you have to face it head on. with the help of family and friends I will make it.
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| 9/15/2010 1:15:54 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Well,well,well let us extend a big hearty welcome and hug to all the new widow/ers who
stopped by for a Hello...Karen,Manatee,Atoka and Skippy we are sorry for your loss of
your spouse and we will help anyway we can with Understanding,Friendship,and love. We would like you to spend some time with us,have a join in to our discussions,
Make your self at home,visit with us and we will help you carry your burden and make
you as comfortable as possible
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| 9/17/2010 12:56:46 AM |
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iminarut
Westboro, WI
55, joined Sep. 2010
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My name is Bryan and I lost my Jini May 23rd 2010 at 10:22 AM, when a horse she was working with went over on her and killed her instantly right in front of me. I got to her within 5 seconds and knew it was over. We were married 27 years 1 month. I wondered why it took me 3 1/2 months to be able to cry, thought there was something wrong with me until I found this group and realized there ARE people who understand! I hope to keep coming here because it does help me. Thank you all.
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| 9/17/2010 11:23:27 AM |
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cali1234
Exeter, CA
69, joined Oct. 2008
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Welcome Iminarut, it does help to come here and know you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts.....
[Edited 9/17/2010 11:23:44 AM ]
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| 9/18/2010 6:48:37 AM |
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snakepond
Somerset, KY
53, joined May. 2010
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Hello Iminarut, you are only 3 months into this. The only thing I can tell you is that right now you are in survuval mode. The shock that makes you numb is starting to wear off. If you feel like crying or laughing or talking do it. This site will help I wished I had found it last winter when I was so lonely...If something keeps bearing on your mind please don't think you are the only person that has ever felt or thought it. Grief is something you have to face but it does help to talk. God BLess
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| 9/18/2010 11:22:49 AM |
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dja1532
Columbus, OH
62, joined Sep. 2010
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Hello to everyone. My name is Donna. I lost my husband one month ago today. Just wanting to meet people to chat. This past month has been a nightmare and has passed so quickly. I am trying to get together a benefit auction to help pay the funeral costs. We did not any insurance, how stupid were we.
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| 9/18/2010 3:42:53 PM |
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cali1234
Exeter, CA
69, joined Oct. 2008
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Join the club, no insurance here, medical or life...sold everything I could to pay off medical bills....Had no funeral, no money to do it....
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| 9/18/2010 4:47:35 PM |
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iminarut
Westboro, WI
55, joined Sep. 2010
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Thanks for the welcome girls, and Donna- the decision to not have insurance is just that, a decision we all make . All we had was a small policy that came with our checking account 28 years ago.(forgot it was even on there) I wish us all better luck. Bryan.
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| 9/18/2010 5:17:28 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Welcome to all.
The no insurance thing certainly can bite you, can't it? We were lucky that we had the health insurance so most things were paid for with my husband's illness. But the life insurance...another story.
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| 9/19/2010 12:50:44 PM |
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sweetroses51
Williston, FL
58, joined Sep. 2010
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Hello Everyone. My name is LuAnn. I have been a widowed since nov of 09. Its still is hard but i just think that he his not hurting anymore. He has both his legs back and is doing things he always wanted to do since before he lost his legs. My husband was on dialysis for 22 years. at the end he just couldn't breath right. he was a breathing machine and oxygen. he lost his first leg in 05 and then in 08 went his second leg. He always told me that he wanted to make sure that everything was in order before he went. well he did do that for me. I miss him very much.
Well thanks for listen.
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| 9/19/2010 1:03:20 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Welcome Luann....we are sorry about your loss...we will try and be here for byou if you need any understanding &friendship as the bulk of this widow/rs group has lost a spouse or partner and been there so if we can be any help ...let us know...join in anytime you feel like it and make yourself at home
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| 9/20/2010 10:21:25 PM |
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wicgrandma
Lindsay, CA
78, joined Dec. 2008
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Hi, my name is Nana. I have been a widow for ten years this Oct. Work is what's keeping me going. I run an emergency services agency, food pantry/thrift store like. At this time I am working without pay cause federal grants are down o zero.
Also have 2 great grandkids that take up my weekends, but need adult conversation too.
Hope you guys have a good week.....Nana
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| 9/20/2010 10:55:35 PM |
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drakko1
Salt Lake City, UT
64, joined Oct. 2009
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Welcome Nana
This is a great place to meet people and share feeling
Thanks for stopping by
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| 9/21/2010 12:53:40 AM |
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plntyluv
Phoenix, AZ
69, joined Nov. 2009
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Hi My name is Marilyn,I've been Widow since May 1985....but lost Son Suddenly on Nov.23.09.His death brought all feelings of Loss back again.I've been to Grief Class which helped alot...Daughter and Family have been supportive. Dreading November &Thanksgiving but with God's help I'll get through.
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| 9/21/2010 7:00:21 PM |
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goldrush99
Pottstown, PA
77, joined Aug. 2009
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Hi Marilyn and welcome to the Widows' Group. Yes, with God's help, you will get through it. It's the only way. Besides, being a widow, I have lost two of my grown daughters in the past two and a half years, and without God, I would not have made it. Keep hangin' in there and God Bless You.
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| 9/22/2010 9:20:29 PM |
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funirish68
Patterson, NY
73, joined Sep. 2009
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I Want to thank you for your welcome ,i do wish i had found this a few years ago.
I am so sorry for all that have lost someone that they have loved . its like a whole lifetime has passed. god bless everyone.
may
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| 9/25/2010 9:47:13 AM |
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marvelousmarie
Edmond, OK
61, joined Jan. 2008
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Hi everyone,
My name is Marie. I am new to this forum. I will be widowed 10 years next April. I have only been involved with one man since my husband died and this person decided recently he wants to go his own way so I almost feel everything I felt when my husband died. It's weird. It triggers all those emotions when you were alone before, but different of course. I hope to make some new friends on this site especially some women friends. I'm on this site because I am not going to let the loneliness get the best of me.
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| 9/25/2010 12:12:00 PM |
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kemo123
Wetumpka, AL
69, joined May. 2010
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Hi every body ive been a widower sents febof this year
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| 9/25/2010 3:42:23 PM |
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peeps57
Sarasota, FL
60, joined Jul. 2010
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Do you mean since February this year???
Welcome we are here for you.
Crystal
[Edited 9/25/2010 3:42:51 PM ]
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| 9/26/2010 9:32:52 PM |
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molres
Carlisle, PA
63, joined Dec. 2009
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Hello, I just found this group and I am hoping for good things. My husband died on Aug. 7, 2008. Life will never be the same. As you all know everything is different and the world is a strange place without David, my best friend and soul mate. 
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| 9/27/2010 2:53:19 AM |
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snowangel5150
Carson City, NV
38, joined Sep. 2010
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I've been a widow since july 30 2009 and Im looking for people like this who know how it feels... It hurts alot my husband was only 28 when he died he left two beautifull babies and me I miss him alot I still cry alot , He was my soul mate I don't think I can ever be with another man...
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| 9/27/2010 8:12:14 AM |
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iminarut
Westboro, WI
55, joined Sep. 2010
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Welcome to the group angel, I'm Bryan and I just joined a short time ago and like you spent most of the night for a week or so reading posts till all hours of the night. (can tell by the time of your posts) This is a good place to visit-a lot of friends we have never known are here! Would Scott want you to sit there and not enjoy living? I bet not. You will find a lot of the answers to your questions here, not that they are all right or wrong, but they will help you get moving in a good direction. My best to you.
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| 9/27/2010 9:38:15 AM |
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molres
Carlisle, PA
63, joined Dec. 2009
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Hi, I really need friends who understand what this kind of loss is like. Did anyone lose someone to suicide? My husband took is life while in the hospital on Aug. 7 2008. Sometimes it does not seem real. Please, anyone who gets it please write. Molres
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| 9/27/2010 10:22:49 AM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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A big hug and welcome to all you new widow/rs.Nana,Drakko,Marilyn,May,Marie,Molres and
Angel First let me tell you we are sorry for your losses...We can't change that but we
Sympathize with you and offer our help and friendship to get you up and moving.We are here for you if you need us. Have a cupof coffee,visit awhile,Andjoin our group if you will...Ask questions,comment,laugh,cry,or whatever you feel like and know most everone
here has been where you are.Welcome....To Molres...if you drop back and read the post in this thread you will see you are not alone...May God bless each and everyone and he will
carry you thru this.
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| 9/27/2010 2:20:45 PM |
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deserthommy
Victorville, CA
62, joined Aug. 2010
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This is my very 1st time to this site. It will be one year this thursday my husband passed away.Does it ever get better?
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| 9/27/2010 6:25:50 PM |
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molres
Carlisle, PA
63, joined Dec. 2009
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It gets harder sometimes before it gets better. My experience is that year 2 was harder than year 1. I hope this is not true for you. My soulmate and bestfriend died 8-07-08 and I am dating again which does help. At times though I feel like my whole life has changed and it has. Are you in a grief support group or getting grief counseling? I hope you feel the support from this group.
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| 9/27/2010 9:54:59 PM |
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nclady28655
Morganton, NC
67, joined Mar. 2010
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Hi all, I am Pat and new to this group. Seeking someone to be a friend and to talk to. Love chatting but new to this. May need your help
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| 9/27/2010 11:03:55 PM |
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shastabella
Lewistown, PA
61, joined Sep. 2010
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Hi Pat and welcome to the group. The best way to get to know new people is to post. If you need a friend there are plenty of us who will be here to help you any way that we can.
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| 9/28/2010 4:36:08 AM |
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sccarolinaman
Boiling Springs, SC
68, joined Jul. 2010
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Hello, my name is David. I have been a widower for just a few months now and life has been different and challenging. Being 14 years older than my wife I always thoughtI would go first but the events in life are not the perfect movie we sometimes make it out to be. Anyway, this seemed to be a logical group for me to joint because we all do have a commonality and a large loss we are dealing with.
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| 9/28/2010 8:33:54 AM |
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crcpeach1
Lexington, TN
56, joined Sep. 2010
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Hi, I'm Charla.
My husband passed away in Nov '07. He had been disabled since '94 (back injury), had cancer in '01, and then committed suicide (OD on meds). After nursing him all those years I felt relieved and yet cheated. Even dying he left me with a mess.
In spite of everything I still miss my best friend. I started dating recently and have met a few nice guys... but I don't think I'm ready to get into a relationship yet. I'm still learning how to laugh again.
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| 9/28/2010 3:51:45 PM |
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shastabella
Lewistown, PA
61, joined Sep. 2010
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Hello, my name is David. I have been a widower for just a few months now and life has been different and challenging. Being 14 years older than my wife I always thoughtI would go first but the events in life are not the perfect movie we sometimes make it out to be. Anyway, this seemed to be a logical group for me to joint because we all do have a commonality and a large loss we are dealing with.
Welcome, David. I hope you are getting some grief counseling. I know how much that has helped me. Another thing that has been helping me is the book, "On Grief and Grieving" by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler. In fact, I would recommend that book to everyone who is grieving the death of a loved one.
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| 9/28/2010 6:12:18 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Much of her work is helpful.
I also liked On Life After Death. It's a short book of four essays.
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| 9/29/2010 2:24:25 PM |
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deserthommy
Victorville, CA
62, joined Aug. 2010
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I have been in therapy for 7 months now.It took 6 months just to come out of denial and deal with reality.
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| 9/29/2010 3:27:19 PM |
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hoophooks
East Ellijay, GA
68, joined Feb. 2010
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My wife passed 3 yrs ago however I'm doing fine. Is there something wrong?
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| 9/29/2010 7:05:58 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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My wife passed 3 yrs ago however I'm doing fine. Is there something wrong?
Welcome to the newer widow/rs...Pat,Charla,Susan,Shastabella,and David...if you need any help,friendship speak up and we will help any way we can...just feel at nome here,ask
laugh,cry,smile and comment if and when you feel like it..just think everyone here been road...and went thru similar heart aches when losing their life long mate and partner.
Just join in and it will help...
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| 10/7/2010 8:35:23 PM |
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lalen793t
Lumberton, NC
61, joined Sep. 2010
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my name is mary and i lost my husband in february 2010 and i still have days when i break down and cry- and somedays i feel on top of the world- i can not look at my husbands death certificate without crying- i joined this website in the hopes of making friends- i have met some over sexed nuts- smart alecks- hoping to find someone that has some sense of purpose in their life beyond their pants
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| 10/7/2010 8:41:40 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Welcome to you new ones.
Hoops, I don't think you need to worry. If you're doing fine, that's a good thing. People grieve on their own timetables and some can be fine even while they're mourning and some are fine because they've laid down the heavy burden of grief and are just carrying the love.
I don't know that we ever get over it, we get through it, it changes us but we're fine.
Mary, this is a great place to make friends. I've made so many and I'm thankful for all of them. Yep, there are some who are looking for other things, but that's just life, I guess. Hang in there.
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| 10/8/2010 7:24:24 AM |
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funover70
Blue Earth, MN
76, joined Sep. 2010
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Hi, my name is Di,I,ve been up for hours reading and crying and feeling everyone,s grief ,it,s all so me.I,ve been a widow for 5 years in June ,we were married for 47 years to .my one and only love.I want love again!! in all way,s but at 70 I don,t know how! everyone,even my kid,s say mom get out there,I,m not a joiner I hope this group can help me.
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| 10/8/2010 4:33:38 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Hi, my name is Di,I,ve been up for hours reading and crying and feeling everyone,s grief ,it,s all so me.I,ve been a widow for 5 years in June ,we were married for 47 years to .my one and only love.I want love again!! in all way,s but at 70 I don,t know how! everyone,even my kid,s say mom get out there,I,m not a joiner I hope this group can help me.
Di
I am sorry to hear of your loss.. I would like to welcome you to this group,,we all have
been in a space like you are in by losing a pardner we thought we would have for life
and its hard to accept that they are no longer with us...but life goes on...we have to
accept it because there is no other choice...Di I think if you will talk to some of the women inyour situation you will feel better..Make your self at home here,we encourage
you to join in any discussions,stories,or what ever you are interested in and meet these
ladies they will enjoy your company. You will meet and make friends with them both men and women and you might find someone to ease your pain and lonely feelings...So join in
and bring some friendship into your life..join in anytime you wish...have a
and relax.
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| 10/8/2010 5:36:23 PM |
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funover70
Blue Earth, MN
76, joined Sep. 2010
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cadno thank you for your reply it,s nice to know other,s have the same feelings .you all seem like such loveing careing folks I,ll try to join in well talk again soon!
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| 10/10/2010 9:30:14 AM |
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sointoyoutwo
North Charleston, SC
60, joined Sep. 2010
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Hi Everyone...I have been observing this group for some time now. It's been 9 years since my husband passed away. This is a wonderful idea.
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| 10/10/2010 11:44:41 AM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Hi Everyone...I have been observing this group for some time now. It's been 9 years since my husband passed away. This is a wonderful idea.
Sointoyoutwo Welcome to our group...As you know most of the people here are Widows-widowers and all have had the experience of losing their spouse...this can be a terrible
time for the survivor and is a totally unique situation shared by us and not understood by everone...here we offer love,friendship,and understanding. we hope you will join in
and make yourself at home and become a regular...have a and voice your thoughts.
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| 10/12/2010 3:28:01 PM |
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tnhillgirl
Rogersville, TN
52, joined Oct. 2010
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HI everyone,
I'm new to all this so may ask some dumb questions along the way.Please bear with me as I try to learn.
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| 10/12/2010 4:03:08 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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There are no dumb questions.
Ask away, it'll probably be informational for more than just you.
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| 10/12/2010 4:27:02 PM |
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tnhillgirl
Rogersville, TN
52, joined Oct. 2010
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My husband just passed and sometimes I just want to talk to someone, not family,friends coworkers.Is this normal?Or is there a normal after?
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| 10/12/2010 4:54:18 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Yes, it's normal.
I found myself online searching out groups. I wanted to talk with people who had gone through something similar. My family and friends haven't and as much as they loved us, they really didn't understand, or know what to say. And sometimes, I just couldn't take the things they did say.
So I found this place when I was searching for widow/ers groups. I also joined groups in Facebook.
It was a lifesaver. It got me through many sleepless nights. At first I just read. And cried. It was awhile before I felt like saying anything. But it was so good realizing I wasn't alone in what I was feeling.
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| 10/12/2010 7:06:59 PM |
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tnhillgirl
Rogersville, TN
52, joined Oct. 2010
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Thanks how long has it been?I sometimes don't know what i'm feeling so just say i'm ok.
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| 10/12/2010 7:43:28 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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He slipped into a coma in April of 09, and died July 09.
I joined here in May of 09 and only read threads until sometime in late July.
For me, the grieving started while he was in the coma, although I'd say the kind of grieving before is a little different than the grieving after. I think the those of us who dealt with a terminal illness, once you come to the realization that terminal is indeed terminal, and the hopes and prayers change from "please make it better" to "please take his pain away and give us all strength".
And as much as someone may try and as much as someone loves you and is empathetic and compassionate and wise, they really can't quite get what this feels like, or what it does to a person. So talking to someone who does, and who is not invested in your life and your feelings, as a friend or family member is invested, helps immensely.
You don't have to explain to them. You don't have to tone down what you're feeling. You don't have to watch how or what you say. Because they get it. They understand. And they know that whatever comes out of your mouth is just part of the process. You don't have to put on a game face and tell them you're OK, when you're not. You don't have to pretend just to help them out. Or because you really don't know what you're feeling because you're still numb and in the fog.
For some reason that last one bothers the people who love you the most. They can't stand that you're adrift, or in a fog, or are numb. They don't understand it.
[Edited 10/12/2010 7:45:42 PM ]
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| 10/12/2010 7:53:29 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 3 |
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tnhillgirl
Rogersville, TN
52, joined Oct. 2010
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My husband died last month, it was lung ca but nobody told me it would go to his brain. Went to work he was ok got call he had flipped out.Only lived about two more weeks.Thought I was prepared for his body to go down but the mind I wasn't ready for.He got his mind back the day he died so I did get to tell him goodbye,but God I miss him.
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| 10/12/2010 8:51:15 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 3 |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Yeah. You will always miss him. But you won't always miss him so constantly. I don't know how to say that. The missing won't always be the consuming thought.
It's only been a month for you. You're still, if you're like me, thinking he's gonna walk in the door. When 5:30 rolled around, I waited. I didn't realize I was at first, but I was. I had been so tuned into the time and when he walked in the door, I couldn't just shut it off.
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| 10/12/2010 8:57:37 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 3 |
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tnhillgirl
Rogersville, TN
52, joined Oct. 2010
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THATS IT!!!!! I try to explain that to friends and i get that poor puppy look.I went out on the porch to tell him our grandsons ceiling fan had to come down hit the porch saw his empty chair and lost it.Am trying to keep my 2 year old grandson who i love more than life,but just called his mom to come get him im shaking like a leaf and crying constantly pretty sure it was too soon.
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| 10/20/2010 8:27:11 AM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 3 |
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tnhillgirl
Rogersville, TN
52, joined Oct. 2010
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Hello everyone,I to am a recent widow.Only a month now.Not sure which way is up yet,but I have been reading your posts.They have answered alot of questions for me. Thank you all
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