| 8/13/2010 9:34:19 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 2 |
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ichibon613
Decatur, IL
61, joined Aug. 2010
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Hi Rusty!!! Glad you are here....feeling like " Home" again!
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 8/13/2010 10:56:14 PM |
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rae682
Williamstown, VT
65, joined Apr. 2010
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Hi , it will be 4 years this april i am not new here just stop in to say Hi to all of you
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| 8/14/2010 8:03:37 AM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Hi , it will be 4 years this april i am not new here just stop in to say Hi to all of you
Welcome Rae and a big hug and welcome toBetty and Belinda we look forward to all our new and old visitors stopping by and visiting with us and sharing their knowledge and love
with us.....All we can do is give each other support and help and let you all know we have been there and "WE CARE"....Everyone have A good and safe weekend 
  
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| 8/14/2010 3:14:41 PM |
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gadrius
Las Vegas, NV
66, joined Aug. 2010
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Hello everyone, I can not say I am not glad to be here but I am. I just lost my wife Brenda on March 20th after 25 of the greatest years of my life. I think I missed widower 101 class because I am sure not ready for this. I feel like I am doing everything wrong. My house is just like it was the day she went to the hospital. So I guess I am trying to find the second love of my life, if there is such a thing!
[Edited 8/14/2010 3:18:49 PM ]
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| 8/14/2010 4:00:23 PM |
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456johnny
Greensburg, PA
75, joined Apr. 2009
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Hi, my name is 456Johnny. Im 68 yrs old and i have been widowed for 6 1/2 years. It has taken my a while but now I have moved on and enjoying life. I have a camper and camp in PA, VA, OH and WV. I love the mountains, the rivers, the streams and the wildlife that frequent the forests..
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| 8/14/2010 4:18:49 PM |
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dillo69
Angleton, TX
63, joined Dec. 2009
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Hey everyone. I'm new to this so bare with me please. It's been 3-1/2 years since the love of my life passed after 28 years of marriage. Yes, it is very hard to wake up each morning without her by my side. Still trying to cope with it all, day by day.
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| 8/14/2010 5:44:10 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Hey everyone. I'm new to this so bare with me please. It's been 3-1/2 years since the love of my life passed after 28 years of marriage. Yes, it is very hard to wake up each morning without her by my side. Still trying to cope with it all, day by day.
I would like to say welcome to all,Gadrius...Johnny ..and Mr.Dillo we are sorry for your losses and want you all to know we are here to comfort orhelp you cope...It will get better but at its own pace depending on each one, Make yourself at home and if we can help just let us know....
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| 8/15/2010 4:52:22 PM |
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elenna623
Houston, TX
62, joined Feb. 2009
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Hi I am Elenna, I lost my husband on Feb 13, 2004. We were married 19 years. I suddenly became mom/dad to my three sons who were between the ages of 10-16. I am here to say as the years go one, it is true that things get better.
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| 8/17/2010 1:12:22 AM |
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4luckylady4
Oklahoma City, OK
68, joined Jul. 2010
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My husband Bob passed away 1/5/2010. I am so lonely without him. He had stage 4 kidney cancer. He said the cancer would not kill him and it didn't he just went to sleep. I am so happy he never had a lot of pain. We had a good life and he is my soulmate. I am a Luckylady we are soulmates forever.
Now that I am returning to the dating world I may find a "new" true love but not another soulmate. Bob is the one and he is waiting for me.
When my "new" mate reads this he may not like it. But what is in the heart is in the heart. My pasted has made me who I am today and I am a much better person because of Bob. I will not give that up.
I have so much to be grateful for and so much to offer to the "new" love of my life.
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| 8/17/2010 7:44:09 AM |
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emilynicole2010
Northport, AL
26, joined Aug. 2010
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hi. my name is emily. my husband and i were in a car wreck on july 1 . just wen everyone thought he was getting better, he made a turn for the worse. he passed away on august 2, and i dont know wat to do. i keep finding myself waiting on him to walk through the door. its so hard to believe hes gone.
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| 8/17/2010 9:26:13 AM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Welcome Ladies....we in the widowers group welcome you with open arms and a big hug to
try and let you know we have been there.There is no answers to some of the feelings you have...they are unique to each one individually and my best advice is to be patient,keep
your faith,and keep on keeping on because it will get better with time.
Elenna it is very trying to find yourself with a family to try and raise by yourself but
for you know you are giving it your best and that is all any can do.
Lucky Lady it will help if you can keep from comparing your soulmate to the new men who will be in your life and if you must judge....do it individually and dont compare the
new men to your soulmate...they wont match up....
Emily I am so sorry you find yourself a widow at your age and all I can say is hang on
it will get better with time..which I know is not always confortable but it helps. I think by you trying to socialize and find somthing to keep you busy and your mind working
will help also...it may not be what you want....but it helps.
So ladies again we are sorry for your losses and if we can help let us know and we will be happy to assist you....
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| 8/17/2010 1:41:44 PM |
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lee_55
Lee, ME
63, joined Nov. 2009
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My heart goes out to all, especially Emily. You just don't expect something like that at your young age. Might I suggest a program called GriefShare. Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be any programs in your area. If you go to griefshare.org you can get the materials. It is most helpful!
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| 8/18/2010 9:51:03 AM |
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ichibon613
Decatur, IL
61, joined Aug. 2010
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I have also heard that the Lord needed him more, that he is in heaven,we should rejoice for him, etc. All of those things I believe and I know where my husband is...he was indeed a very godly man. HOWEVER, that does not stop or really soften our pain of losing them. The Bible says that when Lazarus died, Jesus wept. Death is a loss that rocks the depths of our soul. There is never a good time to die.
I understand that my husband is no longer in pain, and for that I am glad. However, I do not have him to tell me each day that he loves me, I don't have those big laughing blue eyes to look into as I sit across the table from him, I can't hear him call me from work just to tell me he loves me, etc. I have albums of notes, cards, letters, and some movies of our years together. I still can't reach out and touch him. I can't feel his arms around me to comfort me in the greatest tragedy of my life.
I know I will see him again, but there is no marriage in Heaven.....and so my life as I knew it will never ever be the same.
I tried dating after he had been gone a few years. The first person that I really paid any mind to was really good at finding wounded prey. After having been through all I had been through, also losing my little brother to liver cancer the year before, and going through my son being in a near death coma for five days...a year after Ray died.....the lies and deception almost destroyed me. I had been honest and upfront about how scared and vulnerable I felt. I won't make that mistake again.
Sometimes I think I would like to be in love again, and then most times I don't care. I am not sure what stage of grieving that puts me in, but I know the pain of the loss may soften, but will never really go away. He was a jewel,indeed a rare find, my soulmate, and I am not interested in being with someone just for the sake of not being alone, or to fill a void.
That pretty much describes the new " widow" here.
[Edited 8/18/2010 9:53:51 AM ]
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| 8/21/2010 3:46:47 PM |
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ingle
Elizabethtown, KY
74, joined Oct. 2007
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Hello
I lost my husb. 7years ago and still miss him a lot
but god helps me through it everyday.
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| 8/22/2010 12:06:42 AM |
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ladylovespurple
Alliance, OH
66, joined Aug. 2010
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My name is Karen. I lost my husband Rick on the 4th of July. He had COPD and Emphysema for the past 4 yrs. living on oxygen 24/7. I know that he's in a better place but, I miss him so very much. They say that it gets easier as time goes on. I'm really having a hard time with that. I find myself crying and crying constantly. I'm angry because he left me. I talk to him all the time knowing I won't get a reply. Am I crazy or what? He died here in our home. So that made it even harder. I couldn't stand to go into the room we he passed away for quite awhile. I had to keep the door closed. Does it get any easier?
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| 8/22/2010 9:12:48 AM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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My name is Karen. I lost my husband Rick on the 4th of July. He had COPD and Emphysema for the past 4 yrs. living on oxygen 24/7. I know that he's in a better place but, I miss him so very much. They say that it gets easier as time goes on. I'm really having a hard time with that. I find myself crying and crying constantly. I'm angry because he left me. I talk to him all the time knowing I won't get a reply. Am I crazy or what? He died here in our home. So that made it even harder. I couldn't stand to go into the room we he passed away for quite awhile. I had to keep the door closed. Does it get any easier?
Yes....you might not like the way it goes for a while...But it does get better...the
time varies based on each situation and person .....just hang in there its not unusal
to be at a loss as what to do next and I can tell you personally I went thru the same
things and they have not gone away but I find it's not as bad as before...feel free
to join in and ask or talk anytime you want...
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| 8/22/2010 6:29:44 PM |
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tonyoxoxoxox
Richmond, IN
52, joined Aug. 2010
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Just an easy going guy new to this and hoping to find a friend and hopeful relationship with someone that is fun, spontaneous, smart, and likes a romantic Italian widower and not into games or drama..
One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else ~~
Seeking a serious relationship but realize we have to start somewhere.... I am attractive, out going, frisky, independent and financially stable. I am happier in a neat and organized enviroment.
I am here to "meet" not to email, text, IM, chat on phone for weeks on end..... If you do not have time please do not waste my/your time.
I enjoy a confident, well adjusted women with a sense of humor, non-smoker, communicates well, hygiene is very important - clean cut and well groomed, I really need for you to have transportation and a source of income. .I exercise regularly to be healthy and would like the same to have that interest as well.
I have alot to give and want to share it.....
Tonyoxoxox
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| 8/22/2010 9:40:47 PM |
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maggie275
Mount Juliet, TN
71, joined Aug. 2010
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Hi....I am widowed since March of last year. He was my soulmate and the love of my life. I am just starting to find myself and start life over. It has been lonesome but I have kept busy and have lots of friends and family who are near when I need them. I hope to meet friends here. I am new to this type of group, but, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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| 8/23/2010 8:06:43 AM |
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ichibon613
Decatur, IL
61, joined Aug. 2010
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to "Ladylovespurple"
not really. It becomes less frequent and we get better at pushing it back......but it can hit you at any time. Love is love, and you can't just cut off the emotions or replace it. You can love again, but never lose that place in your heart only he can fill.
[Edited 8/23/2010 8:07:53 AM ]
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| 8/23/2010 8:41:01 AM |
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2irish11
Norwich, CT
61, joined Aug. 2010
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to "Ladylovespurple"
not really. It becomes less frequent and we get better at pushing it back......but it can hit you at any time. Love is love, and you can't just cut off the emotions or replace it. You can love again, but never lose that place in your heart only he can fill.
Lady....Ichi,
I think that the intensity of emotions associated with the initial grief lessen....not a lessening of the love..just that impulse to cry at the silliest little thing goes away gradually. Of course, as time goes on, we become better at controlling the urge to spontaniously cry...become less lonely...become better at living today...yet, we still remember what we'd once had...and wonder???? "when will this bad trip be over???"
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| 8/23/2010 6:22:17 PM |
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whitedove52
Sparks, GA
65, joined Feb. 2010
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Hello all, I have been widowed just over 3 years, we were married for 33 years. Liver disease was his cause of death. He had a liver transplant in 2002, the last time he visited his doctors at Mayo he was told he would need another liver transplant and a kidney transplant...he chose not to go through it again.
I miss him and think of him every day but I am moving forward with my life. I had previously belonged to other widow/widower groups, made many online friends and went on to meet some of them in person. I think these groups are very beneficial.
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| 8/23/2010 6:43:52 PM |
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ladylovespurple
Alliance, OH
66, joined Aug. 2010
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It's nice to know that everything I'm experiencing is normal. I was beginning to think that I was going crazy. Just this past Saturday. I had another bad day. I've been trying to keep myself busy cleaning the house. Going through things and getting rid of them. That's I should have done along time ago. When we are young. We seem to save everything but as we get older we realize that we really don't need all this stuff anymore. While I was doing this. All of a sudden. The tears started again. I found myself crying and talking to God and my husband again. Asking the same question again. Asking God why he took Rick away so soon and asking Rick why he left me. I found myself telling Rick just how much I missed him and that I loved him more than he ever knew. That I wanted him to come back. Knowing full well that was not going to happen and that I wasn't going to get an answer to any of my questions. I keep praying that one day this part will stop and I will finally have some peace. I know he's finally at peace.
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| 8/23/2010 9:10:22 PM |
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maggie275
Mount Juliet, TN
71, joined Aug. 2010
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I know exactly what your are experiencing. It's been 17 months for me and most days are much better than last year, but little "triggers" bring on the gut hurt sometimes. This occurs less as time goes by. Hang in there!! I'll do the same.
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| 8/24/2010 6:06:01 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Hello Whitedove,,,purple,,,and Maggie....First let me say we are sorry for your losses
and welcome you to this Group...We have all been there and can follow your thinking,I want to let you know that we want you to feel at home with us and ask any questions or
concerns that we may help you with...It will get easier as time passes and you get back into society so ...just hang in there and lean on us for help...
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| 8/26/2010 7:14:14 PM |
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lillycat1
Lawrenceville, GA
64, joined Aug. 2010
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Hi, I'm new to this site. Sorry, haven't managed a picture yet - working on it. I've been lurking for a few days. After 15 years together, I lost my first husband in 1988. But I eventually found love again and he made all the pain and loneliness go away. We were together 19 1/2 years. He passed away suddenly 3 months ago. It is really, really hard going through all this again. But the love was worth it. I wouldn't trade one minute away with either of them. I was so lucky.
I need a group like this. First time around, no computers and I felt very alone. Friends had to drag me out and keep me busy. I am so appreciative of them and what they did to help me get through it all. This time, I know I need to keep busy, make connections, not feel so alone. I am so sorry that each of us has to be here, but thankful that we can communicate with each other and hold each other up in support!
Welcome to anyone who wants to be friends!
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| 8/26/2010 7:58:39 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Welcome Lilly...I know at times like this we are usually asking why...but most of us dont have the answers so we just try to be here for you and help anyway we can...sofeel free to join in and participate any time ...ask or comment when you like..make yourself at home
and just hang in there 
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| 8/26/2010 8:02:05 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Welcome Lilly...I know at times like this we are usually asking why...but most of us dont have the answers so we just try to be here for you and help anyway we can...sofeel free to join in and participate any time ...ask or comment when you like..make yourself at home
and just hang in there
You will find friends here
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| 8/26/2010 9:46:17 PM |
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darla7
Fort Worth, TX
50, joined Jun. 2010
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Hey everyone.....Im Darla,I myself have been lurking & have read everything on here, my heart goes out to each of you! I have felt so alone & finally got the nerve to pop up in here & make friends friends with people that I know understand whats gone on in my life. I lost my wonderful husband 3 years ago last week. As you all know too well, it has been more than rough. I moved to fort Worth for a change & Im just looking to meet people. dating seems impossible to me & Im hoping to change that with your help  )
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| 8/26/2010 9:58:22 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Hi Darla and Lilly, and the others I've missed.
Darla, I did the same thing when I first came here. I lurked and read through the threads and gained a lot of comfort through that.
When I finally started posting, it really helped and felt great to be in the company of people who knew how I felt...and I knew how they felt. It was also really comforting to read things from people who were further along the path towards healing. I love that we are all in various stages...well, love might not be the right word, but I think you know what I mean.
It meant to me that I'd get through this and be OK. It just felt reassuring that others had.
I'm sorry for all our losses...but I'm glad for this place and all of us here.
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| 8/26/2010 10:11:18 PM |
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2irish11
Norwich, CT
61, joined Aug. 2010
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Hi Darla and Lilly, and the others I've missed.
Darla, I did the same thing when I first came here. I lurked and read through the threads and gained a lot of comfort through that.
When I finally started posting, it really helped and felt great to be in the company of people who knew how I felt...and I knew how they felt. It was also really comforting to read things from people who were further along the path towards healing. I love that we are all in various stages...well, love might not be the right word, but I think you know what I mean.
It meant to me that I'd get through this and be OK. It just felt reassuring that others had.
I'm sorry for all our losses...but I'm glad for this place and all of us here.
Yanno...I didn't start on this site, but another that had a forums section...and thru the anonymity of the internet, in widow/er's threads, I was able to shed some of that pent up grief that men have a hard time expressing...sigh...tg..
Soooo...we W's are here fer ya!!! We've been there...done that...andddd...well we've good ears...and plenty of empathy.
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| 8/26/2010 10:15:07 PM |
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darla7
Fort Worth, TX
50, joined Jun. 2010
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Thank you Love & Irish!! Im gonna give it my best shot
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| 8/28/2010 9:23:27 AM |
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silver_fox_77
South Hill, VA
67, joined Apr. 2010
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Who am I and what I would like. I would like to find a women/widow secure with who she is and was, secure in their marriage and would love some one else to share life with Past, Present, and Future. Someone who would enjoy going to dinner, movies, events, traveling and enjoy life. If something develops from there then so be it.
I have good health and enjoy life but it sucks being alone after having such a full life. If you are not threaten by my love for my wife's memorizes of our 37 yrs then lets talk. I'm retired so I have time, It has been a year and a half now. I'm looking just don't want games.
Dan
[Edited 8/28/2010 9:25:27 AM ]
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| 8/28/2010 11:49:29 AM |
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borogal
Murfreesboro, TN
62, joined Aug. 2010
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Hello all, My name is Deb. I lost my husband 8 years ago to a brain tumor. We had been married 25 years. I have been lurking and reading your posts. They have been very helpful to me. Wished I'd found you all sooner. I also hope I can be of some help to some of the newly widowed since I've been on this journey for 8 years now. I look forward to getting to know you all better.
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| 8/28/2010 10:41:34 PM |
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ladyluvlookin
Elgin, SC
55, joined Aug. 2010
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Hello to all. My name is Jeanne. I lost my husband a little over two years ago. Some may think it's a bit too soon to be on "the market", but there are extenuating circumstances. I was with my husband for 11 years, the last three of which we were actually married. He and I had worked together to start and build up a good business for ourselves. We were living a good life together with my three children. But soon after we married he'd discovered drugs and struggled with that addiction on and off. I spent many nights pacing the floor with a nextel radio in one hand and the house phone in the other trying to get him to come home from his nights out partying. Needless to say, our marriage began to deteriorate. Then one morning after having been up all night pacing the floor once again, I'd decided I'd had enough and had just spoken the words "I'm tired of this and I'm filing for divorce" to his father (who worked for us), I received a call from the hospital instructing me to get there as soon as possible, it was a matter of life and death. My husband suffered a massive heart attack at a drug dealers house after consuming $700 worth of crack cocaine. The paramedics worked on him all the way to the hospital but he was pronounced DOA. He was 45; one week shy of his 46th birthday. I had to deal with a lot of bitterness because he had a choice and he chose drugs of a loving wife and partner and a happy home life. But by the Grace of God, I've been able to overcome that bitterness and have forgiven him. I lost everything as a result of his death. New life insurance policies don't pay out when drugs are the cause of death. I've started over. I swam in the depths of some dark valleys over the past two years only to emerge a better and stronger person. I have reached that point in my life where I am at peace. I like my life and I like the person that I've become. I'm thankful for the years that God gave to me with my husband, both good and bad. But He has other plans for me that didn't include David. I'm sorry he had to die but who are we to question how God works?
So I introduce myself to you this fine evening a new and better version of the woman I used to be.
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| 8/30/2010 11:08:34 AM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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A big hello and hug to welcome all the new people to our group...We are sorry for your losses Darla..Dan..Deb..Jeanne..and Mason and hope you can find some comfort and friendship in our group...I think you will because all of us have been there and faced some of the same heartbreaks and losses ourselves...Just make yourself at home..comment
..anytime you feel like it and join in and make this your group..
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| 8/30/2010 11:22:12 AM |
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silver_fox_77
South Hill, VA
67, joined Apr. 2010
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Thanks for the wellcome and I have been lurking for awhile and can say this group has helped many times already and didn't even know it. So thanks to all.
Dan
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| 8/30/2010 1:47:57 PM |
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borogal
Murfreesboro, TN
62, joined Aug. 2010
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Thank you for the welcome Cadno  I look forward to reading and posting more.
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| 9/1/2010 5:10:16 PM |
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whitelilly55201
Forest City, NC
64, joined Aug. 2010
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im marie a widow over 5yrs now just found this group. when you ar a widow at middle age its really hard, all your former lady friends that ar married desert you afraide their husbands might hit on you, and its just plain hard to meet anyone when u ar middle aged. can,t compete with younger women. and a lot of theam ar after all the older men for a sugar daddy.
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| 9/1/2010 7:04:16 PM |
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peeps57
Sarasota, FL
60, joined Jul. 2010
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Welcome Whitelily,
I now what you mean. The guys that get in touch with me are in their 70s or in their 40s. I feel like a fish out of water. All of them are playing games.
I still have hope that I will meet someone to make me happy. I never thought that I would be in this position but here I am. I have met many people to be friends with, but no love on this site.
I never thought that someone would want me to be their cougar. Wow!!! Life hands you lemons but it is what you do with it that counts. Anyway, I still believe that my hubby and God will send me that special person to grow old with.
Hang in there,
Crystal
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| 9/1/2010 7:23:21 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Oh, gosh, I hate that term middle age.
I refuse it! Think that'll work?
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| 9/1/2010 7:37:07 PM |
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funnyface4him
Butler, PA
50, joined Mar. 2010
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Hello all, I have been widowed just over 3 years, we were married for 33 years. Liver disease was his cause of death. He had a liver transplant in 2002, the last time he visited his doctors at Mayo he was told he would need another liver transplant and a kidney transplant...he chose not to go through it again.
I miss him and think of him every day but I am moving forward with my life. I had previously belonged to other widow/widower groups, made many online friends and went on to meet some of them in person. I think these groups are very beneficial.
Hi hun my husband died from the same thing, but he never made it to the first transplant.Once his kidneys failed, his liver couldn't take it and we spent over a month in the Transplant I.C.U. watching him slowly bleed to death. Over 100 units of blood transfusions and he still bled out. That I.N.R. REALLY SUCKS DOESN'T IT? I'm sorry for your loss hun, and for everyone else's losses too.
That Transplant I.C.U. is one of the hardest places I've ever been in my life. To me it was like living in a cemetary every day they had at least 1-2 people dying. I would talk to their family during the day and we all thought they were getting better and then they would be gone. When that phone would ring out there in the waiting room it would send chills down my spine. I never left him while he was in there. I still have nightmares from it. Youtake care hun, we know they are in a better place.
Theresa
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| 9/1/2010 7:46:52 PM |
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therightwoman4u
Galesburg, IL
62, joined Aug. 2010
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Hi,
My name is Nancy. I lost my husband 2 years ago. We were married 33 years. I have been trying to pick up the pieces and move on ever since. I think I am doing OK....I have to check that every day. I feel like I am ready now for a new relationship. Being alone for the first time in my life is the hardest. I am now retired and I enjoy traveling. I also bought a new camera and I am trying my hand at photography.
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| 9/3/2010 1:55:09 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 2 |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Hi,
My name is Nancy. I lost my husband 2 years ago. We were married 33 years. I have been trying to pick up the pieces and move on ever since. I think I am doing OK....I have to check that every day. I feel like I am ready now for a new relationship. Being alone for the first time in my life is the hardest. I am now retired and I enjoy traveling. I also bought a new camera and I am trying my hand at photography.
A big hello and welcome to Marie...Crystal...and Nancy...We are sorry to hear of your losses and wish to extend A helping hand to you all and hope you find comfort and some
understanding...Friendship here as all of our members have been there and understand what you are going thru...So make yourself at home..comment as often as you want and hope you will become a regular...
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| 9/3/2010 5:03:41 PM |
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whitedove52
Sparks, GA
65, joined Feb. 2010
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Hi hun my husband died from the same thing, but he never made it to the first transplant.Once his kidneys failed, his liver couldn't take it and we spent over a month in the Transplant I.C.U. watching him slowly bleed to death. Over 100 units of blood transfusions and he still bled out. That I.N.R. REALLY SUCKS DOESN'T IT? I'm sorry for your loss hun, and for everyone else's losses too.
That Transplant I.C.U. is one of the hardest places I've ever been in my life. To me it was like living in a cemetary every day they had at least 1-2 people dying. I would talk to their family during the day and we all thought they were getting better and then they would be gone. When that phone would ring out there in the waiting room it would send chills down my spine. I never left him while he was in there. I still have nightmares from it. Youtake care hun, we know they are in a better place.
Theresa
Thanks Theresa,
I agree that the Transplant I.C.U. is a hard place to be. He was only in there after the transplant surgery, but being out of town and alone was really nerve wracking.
I see that you are from Butler, PA. I have a widowed friend that I met from another widows' group who lives in Slippery Rock, PA. I have been to visit her twice. She was diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumor in late July. It is so ironic for her to have been diagnosed with the same type tumor that took her husband just 3 years prior.
Linda
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| 9/3/2010 5:08:34 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 2 |
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whitedove52
Sparks, GA
65, joined Feb. 2010
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Thanks to all who have welcomed me. It is very nice to chat with others that are walking the same road.
I am very sorry for everyone's loss, each of us sharing our story is very therapeutic for the others going down the same road. It always helps to talk with other who are experiencing the same pain.
Linda
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| 9/3/2010 5:55:44 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 2 |
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rebee1952
Flushing, MI
65, joined Sep. 2010
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Hi everyone! I am a widow for the past 7 years, sometimes it feels like yesterday. Was married for 23 great years. Have 2 children both married and 1 grandchild with another one on the way. Life is good, God and my family have helped my thru all the tough times. Thanks for somewhere to talk about this!!
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| 9/4/2010 11:34:13 PM |
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shaggy34cole
Lancaster, CA
57, joined Apr. 2008
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Hello everybody my name is Mark and my wife Colleen died four years ago.I'm not really sure what to say. I am raising my two kids by myself and it's not easy.I just happened to stumble onto this blog and was hoping that people like me could help.Most of the time i'm very depressed and don't know if I'll make it through the day without blowing my head off.we would have been married 14 years. Well I don't know what else to say. Bye for now. Mark
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| 9/5/2010 6:01:41 AM |
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2irish11
Norwich, CT
61, joined Aug. 2010
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Hello everybody my name is Mark and my wife Colleen died four years ago.I'm not really sure what to say. I am raising my two kids by myself and it's not easy.I just happened to stumble onto this blog and was hoping that people like me could help.Most of the time i'm very depressed and don't know if I'll make it through the day without blowing my head off.we would have been married 14 years. Well I don't know what else to say. Bye for now. Mark
Hi Shaggy,
Well, I happen to have circumstances similar to yours...I've been a W for 2 1/2 years and I've two daughters ages 8 and 9...Ms. Lake is in the same boat as us...
I find it helpful to me coming here shedding some memories, grief, and sharing experiences...sometimes guys don't grieve well...we've been taught to "suck it up"..."only babies cry" and so on...so thru the anonymity of the internet...and the empathy of our friends here...sharing your tears is...OK...there's other discussions going on in the Widow group that you may find of interest.
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| 9/5/2010 12:38:49 PM |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Welcome, Mark, and all the others.
Irish is right, we're in the same boat. I've got an 8 yr old daughter, too. Being left alone to raise your kids is not easy. Just one of the many things we find out about, I guess.
I'm glad you found this place, Mark. We're a good group of people who understand. We're supportive and argumentative and generous and kind and will sometimes take you to task...but all in all, we understand. Mark, have you gone to talk to anyone about how you're feeling? Clergy, a support group, a counselor?
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| 9/5/2010 1:28:30 PM |
Introduction of new widows and widowers | Page 2 |
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shaggy34cole
Lancaster, CA
57, joined Apr. 2008
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Hi Ms. Lake no I havent I'm a stubborn old biker. What gets me is I feel like damaged goods. Nobody wants to be with a guy who loved his wife so much that he is still grieving 4 years later. I havent been on a date in 15 years.Like I said I am raising my kids alone so I dont have anybody to watch them nor do I know anybody that I would trust to watch them.I dont know how anybody makes it through this shit.Most of the time life sucks!!! I hope this site helps!
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| 9/5/2010 2:25:36 PM |
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2irish11
Norwich, CT
61, joined Aug. 2010
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Yanno Shaggy,
The isolation that your feeling is normal...I feel it and I'm sure Lake feels it too...I dunno how old your kids are but, maybe it's time to look for a sitter...I've used neighboorhood girls, the daughter of a friends secretary, and relied on trading sitting with another single parent. By doing this I was able to re-enter the world. Had a tiny bit with friends..keep up with some of the things I like to do...and I get out and hang with adults from time to time...hanging with the kids as much as I do...my adult time is real important to me. So, know any friends with good kids of age???any single mom's with teenage daughters...post a note in one of the local colleges...ask your clergy.
Now, I'm not saying go out hogwild...but getting out for a few hours...takin' a ride....maybe having a coffe with a girl...nothing intimate...just baby steps until you feel right with the world.
[Edited 9/5/2010 2:26:57 PM ]
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| 9/5/2010 2:51:32 PM |
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midnightmeow
Antwerp, NY
54, joined Apr. 2010
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Hi, Ive been on Date hookup for awhile now..I have been reading the posts and felt comfortable enough to be honest with myself and post an intro..
My husband passed may 24,2006 after a bout of pneumonia..He was a 6 organ transplant recipiant in august of 2005. We were married 22 years, have 3 children 25,24,21 and three of the sweetest grandaughters anyone could ask for..6,2,1. I miss him terribley and I feel so lonely
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| 9/5/2010 3:37:29 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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I would like to say welcome to the new widows and widowers....pull up A chair all of you...Linda..Rebee..Shaggy and Midnight...have a cup-A-coffee and join in with this group
I think you will find friends..who understand what you are going through,because we all have been down that road ourselves and know what a "awakening" you find your self looking at...Alone usually...and its not a picnic thats for sure...feel free to Ask..laugh..comment..answer or address any of the many topics being discussed and get that "heavy Weight" off your back...Talk to Irish..Miss Lake or anyone yoiu want on this forum and we will help anyway we can...so make yourself at home,join in, and you will find friends like you can't believe and Life will seem A little easier...
 :love:
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| 9/6/2010 6:01:16 AM |
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equinefan
Gouldsboro, MEDurham
United Kingdom
66, joined Sep. 2010
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I posted first without introducing myself. I guess I better do that now.
I lost my beloved husband of 33 yrs, on Oct. 19, 2008. As many have also stated, my life changed forever in that split second. It was sudden cardiac arrest, and I mean sudden. He dropped, and was gone, gone! You hear of people talk about this, but to witness it, is beyond imagination, beyond comprehension. Even today, it seems like a bad dream, a dream that never stops.
It has been almost two yrs now, and I have had so many ups and downs. Many struggles. This must be one of the worst events in life, after losing a child. We lose so much, in addition to our spouse.
I try hard, to count my blessings, and I have many. I have 4 incredible children, and 5 grandchildren. I am debt free. I have been able to live in my home, alone, and survive.
I have been able to keep most of my animals. I finally had to give up on the horses, due to problems with the facility. I miss them.
I still have not found my grounding yet, however, try as hard as I have. I am sure many people can relate to this. I had retired from teaching the year before, and was adjusting to retired life, much different than the grind of work. I wanted to focus on my dogs, breeding and showing,and equines. So, I had two big life changes at once.
Every day is a struggle, as you all know. I have dated a little, and had some online conversations, but I seem to have no interest once it gets going some. Yet, I am profoundly lonely.
This looks to be like a great group. I have found some groups have been just too heavy for me. It is a heavy topic, and one can be pulled down easily from it.
Thanks for listening.
Amy
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| 9/6/2010 1:33:46 PM |
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silver_fox_77
South Hill, VA
67, joined Apr. 2010
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Welcome all new comers {I don't like seeing the new ones but life goes on}
I have used the widows section so heavily that I feel like we are one big family. You will find this group is some of the best I have found, after losing my wife of 37 yrs of marriage and so young at 58, very sudden with in a week. I feel with all the people telling me how to feel and to move on and from widows alike but I have been lucky because just as I was about to give up I asked God and my wife to help me. Well they did and a widow from our group emailed me and we have talked many hours finding we both felt the same as no one would want us for us because we still loved our spouse.
Well guess what there are others going and feeling the same as you. I have found that when I think I am at my worst I come here and find that someone else has it worse than me. I have heard it all I think from the well wishers and seen the gold diggers or the one who know how I should feel, but I have found these on the widows group as the best.
So I will shut up now and say Sorry for your loss and that I hope you will stay and be helped like I have as most that hang here have gone though it before and are willing to help. I have been helped when I though no one understands, but they do.
God bless each one of you and sorry for your loss.
Dan
[Edited 9/6/2010 1:35:28 PM ]
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| 9/7/2010 7:03:36 PM |
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cadno
Kenner, LA
78, joined Jun. 2010
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Welcome midnightmeow..Equinefan..and Silver fox and I think the widow/ers are sorry.
for your loss of a "Life Partner"and are here to try and lend a hand...smile..
comfort or friendship to you. We have been down before and want to be here in case we can help.And I am glad you all have posted and decided to stop by and visit and we look forward to your particpation in the group....Hang in there and if we can help anyway just yell at us and we will be there....Welcome to our (your)group...
:yellowbanana
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| 9/7/2010 8:39:52 PM |
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rebee1952
Flushing, MI
65, joined Sep. 2010
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Thanks to everyone who welcomed me. I have read many of the postings and can relate to just about all of them. My husband died suddenly of a massive heart attach but one more thing he was out of the country. Imagine that phone call! 10 days to get him back to the US and then a funeral!! I miss him terribly and still love him desperately, and then I ask myself how can you still feel this way after 7 years! I have tried dating I think I am ready but!!! So nice to have some place to put it out there, because unless you've been through it you don't understand. My family has helped and emotionally supported me but sometimes I get the feeling they think I am just hanging on and should get on with my life.
Thanks for letting me vent everyone!
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| 9/11/2010 7:18:56 AM |
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mindel715
Vero Beach, FL
58, joined Jul. 2010
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hi, my name is Michelle. I've been a widow for close to 3 years. I've had some rough times, but trying to move on. Hoping one day, I will find that special man
to move on in my life.
My Steve, was my 2nd spouse, but a short marraige, as he was a sick man, but I
did love him, and stood by his side until the end.
As his special wish to me, he asked me to please move on, and not grieve for him
and find a man, who will treat me good, as I was too special for him.
have a great day.
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| 9/11/2010 7:40:01 PM |
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im_felineitty
Machias, ME
61, joined Sep. 2010
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Hello all. This is my first time coming on this "posting"...
I lost my childhood sweetheart Mike a little over 3 years ago due to alcoholism... Aftr 6 yrs. of being sober, he started up again, and 13 months later he passed away... Didn't take his body long to get back in the "mode" (liver problems, edema of the stomache, bloat, etc..) I tried, and begged to no avail... I miss him very much, but I have come to grips that it was "his decision" to drink not mine, and that I couldn't change him...
I'll always miss you Mike... Love, Char xoxoxoxoxo
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| 9/11/2010 8:03:14 PM |
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snakepond
Somerset, KY
53, joined May. 2010
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hello my name is Cammie. I lost my wonderful Christain husband 18 months ago. I have read some of your blogs. You are feeling the same things I am.
We all are lonely. I have found out that you can and will live thru a lonely day or night. To see me in public would think I am the strongest Christain woman on earth. People don't see me when I am here at this lonely house. Well thanks for letting me introduce myself.
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