| 2/4/2008 2:41:29 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 48
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Katiescarlett72,
You don't trust men very well do you? It shows. In todays society when we have women doing a lot of the things men use to do, that sort of thing happens a lot. You see, I can call my VP up because it isn't work, it's club business. She is also a good friend of mine. Her husband is also a club member and a good friend of mine. She also calls me. Which is fine because most my dates happen to meet her anyway if we go out more than 5 times.
Besides, I wouldn't suggest making a date with another person while you are out with someone. However, the guy that this women is talking about sure doesn't sound like a player.
A player would never call another woman up while on a date. The whole purpose of a player is to score. A player knows he won't score if he is calling another women up while on a date.
Did you ever think this guy has no idea where to go on a date? So he is asking people he knows have been around for a while? He works with that woman, as a result he is in close contact with her.
It doesn't mean he is having a fling with her.
And teachers always seem to be either working at school or taking night classes to further their education. So it doesn't surpise me that he might be calling her at 11:00pm. And I am willing to bet he doesn't. However, he feels that he knows her well enough that she wouldn't get upset if he did.
Thew guy sounds pretty safe to me.
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| 2/4/2008 2:44:02 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
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@bassman...
But what I do see is a lot of insecure people here that think a guy can't have a female friend.
I think you may be mistaken about that. If you read fully what most have said, they have said they themselves have platonic friendships with people of the opposite sex and have had boyfriends/spouses with friends of the opposite sex and have no issue with it. That doesn't speak insecurity to me.
In general...
Where the problem lies here is putting ALL of the actions together. Bragging about how many women want him to his date...tactless and rude. The issue with the phone call to the coworker that I personally have a problem with (and stated in my earlier post) is the fact that he introduced his date to his male friend over the phone, but did not do the same with the female friend. Why????
There is no reason that this woman cannot ask to be introduced to this friend prior to making any other remarks or decisions as to whether or not she wants to continue with this man. Let's see what his response is to that request...then comment on whether or not this friendship is in fact platonic.
And to any of you who are buying into the I wouldn't call her in front of you if there was something going on line...it's just that...a line! These words make me suspicious BUT do not indicate one way or another if he is the cheating kind. I have had male friends who I've known were cheating on their girlfriends do exactly that...call the other girl in front of the girlfriend and use exactly that line. You've heard of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? Well, same sort of idea...call the girl on the side in front of the girlfriend/wife and she'll never suspect you're cheating. Just take caution with that one, because it may very well be true, but it's more likely a cover.
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| 2/4/2008 3:00:16 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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katiescarlett72
Dallas, TX
age: 35
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The whole purpose of a player is to score. A player knows he won't score if he is calling another women up while on a date.
I'm sorry, how many male players, exactly, have you dated in your life? I'm really curious to know, because I'm willing to bet I (and every other woman here) have you beat there.
This is one topic where a male point of view is not likely to outweigh the female one in validity. That's because a man who is NOT a player doesn't understand how the player's mind works, and a man who IS a player is not about to sit here and explain their secrets.
Women, on the other hand, have for the most part run into many players in our time in dating, and know the signs and red flags to watch out for. Even the OP does, because her gut told her something here was not right. Otherwise, she wouldn't have posted the thread.
A player would never call another woman up while on a date.
Yesssssss theyyyyyyyyyy wouldddddddddddddddd. The best liars and players know EXACTLY how to convince you of their honesty and integrity.
The "I wouldn't have done it in front of you/ left her number sitting out on my coffee table/ not gotten rid of my ex's panties/ kept her number programmed in my cell phone if I was doing anything wrong, now would I?" line is as OLD AS THE HILLS. We've all (women) heard it or a variation of it, and we've all said that repeatedly in this thread.
Hellooooooooo?
Good God, this guy should date you. You'd buy every line he ever threw at you, hook line and sinker.
[Edited 2/4/2008 3:01:15 PM]
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| 2/4/2008 3:20:17 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 48
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I have heard all kinds of stories as well. And while it might be true I have never dated a MALE player Thank God. I have dated a few women that that fit the mold. However, this guy she is talking about just sounds very inexperienced with women. I doubt very much that he is a player. He wouldn't be with her for 2 and 1/2 months if he was.
Also, it's been 2 1/2 months so most likely he feels comfortable enough to be calling his friends while with this woman.
The woman should feel good about that. I don't introduce women to any of my friends unless I know they will be around a while.
I was with the same women for 18 years. It is very easy to be making the mistakes that guy is making when you haven't dated in a while or very often.
And if the poster really felt the guy was a player, WHY does she have to ask you? Heck, I don't have to ask anyone if a woman is worth my time or if they are insecure or abusive. I can see that in the first few emails or dates.
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| 2/4/2008 3:30:22 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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hayworth
Pekin, IL
age: 56
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Good Evening,
I think he is playing games!He sounds like he is stuck on himself! I hate that, some guys give themselves more credit than they should, example, saying they are good looking on these sites and you can SEE the picture! Duh!
Anyway, I digress...
Save time and dump the bum! 
I have been there and I know what I am talking about! Really!
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| 2/4/2008 3:34:18 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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hayworth
Pekin, IL
age: 56
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I just wanted to add ...
Katiescarlet72 ... GOOD answer. You are so right! We know! Please take our advice and dump the LOSER!
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| 2/4/2008 4:07:17 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
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wow..good advise from all!! I love this post. It gives so many possilbe senerios..
and now for my 2 cents!! ...You need more commuication going on with him! Obviously you weren't satisfied with the answer you got...so you don't have to pick and prode at him, but some open conversation about how this makes you feel is a must! If I was dating a guy for 2 1/2 months, i'd like to think that I could be upfront and honest in how I feel or how what he did or said made me feel...better now than months down the road when you are REALLY in deep and wish you could get out! JMO
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| 2/4/2008 4:21:00 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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bratface
Fremont, NH
age: 27
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misery loves company and you will find that alot here. Dont ask that kind of question here baby girl ask your real friends. I think you might be over reacting. You do have to watch those africans though. LOL. Sniff check, laundry check, im sure i dont have to go on. You will know soon enough. Im sure.
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| 2/4/2008 8:49:30 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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tfun
Henderson, NV
age: 35
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You all are so wonderful for giving me your opinions here. Opinions are meant exactly that you can hear them and decide what to do with them. All of you had great ideas and gave me a lot to think about both good and bad. I will weigh the situation for a few days and see how I really feel. Sometimes I have to remove my self from the situation, think about it, put it on the shelf again and then make a decision.
Thanks alot - To all of you.
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| 2/4/2008 9:28:42 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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bigeasy741
Bay, AR
age: 45
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I would have to know if you two were in a committed relationship.If not Then don't drop your guard and be fooled by any bullshit.
If I was dating a woman and she did what you explaned then I would be concerned,Sounds like you are not over reacting.
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| 2/4/2008 9:49:01 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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cjbaker
Decatur, AL
age: 38
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Yeah... he has issues... could be alot of stuff...
1. Afraid off getting closer to you so he is pushing you away
2. Or trying to make you jealous to leave him.
3. Has lied to you.. so the door is open for many more lies.
Just follow your heart.. you will be fine, cause you already know there is more than just that, there always is.... I've caught my X in many lies, and still do that is why I get my kids and leave quickly. I can't stand to be around a liar.
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| 2/4/2008 9:53:09 PM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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easytouch3
Mount Clemens, MI
age: 46
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TFUN dump him and take me instead i guarantee! We will have more fun
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| 2/5/2008 6:09:16 AM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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wolffdream
Billerica, MA
age: 57
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I think your WAY over reacting girl. You havent been with him long enough to have a real relationship.
My husband and I were both dating other people for awhile along with dating eachother. And we both knew about it, so secrets. But when the relationship turns to true love, you lose all interest in anyone else. We had 27 yrs of a wonderful marriage. Totally devoted to eachother in every way until the day he died. You cant force a relationship. It either happens or it doesnt. If your really interested in this guy, give it some time, but dont strangle him with jealousy, that will kill any relationship quickly.
Life is full of surprises. Good luck.... 
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| 2/5/2008 6:21:55 AM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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luvly3
Pahoa, HI
age: 35
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Girl...my spidy-senses are tingling.
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| 2/5/2008 6:24:40 AM |
Should I be Offended (Can I also have male opinions) |
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luvly3
Pahoa, HI
age: 35
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Follow your first mind.If it doesn't feel right, it's probably not.
But here's an idea. Tell him his unprofessional relationship is unacceptable.
She what he says...
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