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| 1/7/2011 1:44:57 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
two rednecks are walking in the wood, when one of them sudden grabs his chest and falls to the ground and twitches a bit, then lays still. the other one, being the only redneck in the world to posses a cell phone, panics and dial 911, he screams to the operator, " i think bill bob jus' done kneeled ober !" the operator replies, "calm down, sir, now, make sure is he is actually dead! the replies, "okie!" the operator hears silence for a while, then bang ! and "okie, now whut ?"
and my all time favorite cartoon..
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 1/8/2011 7:03:25 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sharsea
Gulfport, MS
72, joined Dec. 2008
|
 Sassy, your BAD!
Do you recall how we use to get together and have a party here on DH...Playing music and
having a dance and good time???  
Why not host a party here tonight for the ones that are staying in off the winter icy roads? Those parties were fun last winter and the thought suddenly occurred to me.
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| 1/8/2011 7:07:18 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
that sounds like fun, only I do not want to host it because of the 2 post limit...
been awhile since we have had one of those, seems we have a lot of fun people on here and they would have a ball doing this, most on here have a great sense of humor, glad to see that..
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| 1/8/2011 7:14:06 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sharsea
Gulfport, MS
72, joined Dec. 2008
|
Larry...if not busy would be a great one with his quick knowledge of music for dances and parties. Drop him a note and let's see who will be game to do it for an early evening hour or two of fun.... 
|
| 1/8/2011 7:25:11 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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poorjohnny
Old Bridge, NJ
72, joined Oct. 2010
|
after i retire going to start to teach this anyone want to learn ha ha funny
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| 1/8/2011 8:30:48 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
73, joined Nov. 2007
|
Not sure about this one Johnny..
....I love dancing but with women...
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| 1/8/2011 9:32:25 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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char7138
Catasauqua, PA
77, joined Nov. 2008
|
Save your Confederate money- the South shall rise again.
I'm a rebel at heart.
Char
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| 1/8/2011 9:43:36 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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delideliteful
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010
|
I'm game, Shar, but posting my warning now....
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| 1/8/2011 10:05:43 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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digitaldog
Grove, OK
68, joined Dec. 2010
|
By popular demand..
here are your "cute" animations.
and please..
don't ask for anymore..
I AINT a "cute" type of guy..
 
  
  
 D-D
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| 1/8/2011 10:08:01 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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digitaldog
Grove, OK
68, joined Dec. 2010
|
By popular demand..
here are your LAST two "cute" animations.
and please..
don't ask for anymore..
I AINT a "cute" type of guy..
 
 D-D
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| 1/8/2011 10:15:39 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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igayle
Marshfield, MO
78, joined Jun. 2010
|
Ain't nothin' wrong with a wild and wicked sense of humor..
If there were I'd be in BIG, BIG trouble........
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| 1/8/2011 10:52:26 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sharsea
Gulfport, MS
72, joined Dec. 2008
|
Keep those happy feet going DD for think DH is ready for a big party with dancing, wild women, and a few happy spirits for the snow bound folks on a Saturday evening of fun.
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| 1/8/2011 11:01:42 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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digitaldog
Grove, OK
68, joined Dec. 2010
|
WILD WOMEN..????
now that's MY kinda women..!!
 D-D
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| 1/8/2011 11:09:59 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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digitaldog
Grove, OK
68, joined Dec. 2010
|
A new world..????
 D-D
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| 1/8/2011 2:30:28 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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ted10579
Crystal River, FL
78, joined Aug. 2010
|
A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
“This is exciting,” thought the gentleman. I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person. Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. This is fantastic, thought the gentleman. I’m really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he’ll ask me for assistance.
Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘u-n-t’?”
Only one word leapt to mind…my goodness, thought the gentleman, I can’t tell the Pope that. There must be another. The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, “I think you’re looking for the word ‘aunt’.”
“Ah Of course,” said the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”.......
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| 1/8/2011 2:55:12 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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newlady2
Goldsboro, NC
78, joined Apr. 2008
|
Baaaaaaaad Pope ..Laffin
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| 1/8/2011 3:21:32 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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ted10579
Crystal River, FL
78, joined Aug. 2010
|
Two men were sitting side by side on an airliner flying from Denver to Los Angeles.
The first man appeared nervous and finally explained that he was being transferred to LA. "I hate Los Angeles," he said.
"Everything you hear about LA is bad -- smog, traffic, and worst of all, the crime. Gangs everywhere, people getting shot and robbed, things stolen, car jackings, and everyone hates everyone else."
"Oh, it's not that bad," said the second man. "I live in LA myself. Most of that stuff you read is media hype. It's just not true. You'll find LA is just like any other city, anywhere in America."
"Really?" responded the first. "Boy, that makes me feel a lot better. You say you live in LA -- what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a tail gunner on a Bud Lite delivery truck."
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| 1/8/2011 4:08:57 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sunny3881
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010
|
(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
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| 1/8/2011 6:52:38 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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bill_43
Nokesville, VA
74, joined Aug. 2007
|
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| 1/8/2011 8:52:52 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sunny3881
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010
|
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| 1/9/2011 11:04:47 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
73, joined Nov. 2007
|
One day while they're bungee jumping, Ole says to Sven, "You know, we could
> make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
>
> Sven thinks it's a great idea, and so they pool their money and buy
> everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
>
> They travel to Mexico and begin to set up their equipment on the town
> square. As they constructed the tower ,a crowd began to assemble. Slowly,
> more and more people gathered to watch them at work.
>
> When the tower was finished, the crowd was so large that Ole and Sven
> thought it would be smart to give a demonstration. They climbed the tower
> together. Ole strapped Sven into the harness -- and Sven jumped. Sven
> bounced at the end of the cord, but when he came back up, Ole noticed he had
> a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Ole couldn't grab him before he
> fell again. When he bounced up a second time, Sven was bruised and bleeding.
> Again, Ole failed to catch him. Sven went down again and bounced back up. By
> the time Ole caught him, Sven was nearly unconscious, with a couple of
> broken bones.
>
> Alarmed, Ole asked, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
>
> Barely able to speak, Sven gasped, "No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the
> crowd. What the hell is a piñata?"
...................................................
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| 1/9/2011 11:53:32 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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digitaldog
Grove, OK
68, joined Dec. 2010
|
I love..
Stupid AND funny......
 D-D
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| 1/9/2011 11:52:39 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sunny3881
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010
|
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| 1/10/2011 1:39:19 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
One For You, One For Me
on the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "it's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery.
He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls." The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."
When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
[Edited 1/10/2011 1:41:32 AM ]
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| 1/10/2011 7:00:05 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sharsea
Gulfport, MS
72, joined Dec. 2008
|
Several good laughs this morning from all the jokes and cartoons.
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| 1/10/2011 9:54:03 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet she's ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if what they say about men with big feet is true. The cowboy replies, "Sure is, why don't you come back to my place and let me prove it?" The woman is curious, so she spends the night with him. When she sees him the next day, she hands the cowboy a $100 bill. "I'm flattered," he says, blushing. "Nobody has ever paid me for my prowess before." "Well, don't be," the woman replies. "Take this money and go buy yourself some boots that fit!"
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| 1/10/2011 11:07:45 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
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| 1/10/2011 11:15:53 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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ooohman2
Brockton, MA
73, joined Dec. 2009
|
Good one
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| 1/10/2011 12:04:51 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, recently moved to Texas. Ray has always
wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he
buys them and wears them home. Walking proudly into the house, he says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope."
Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now?"
Bessie looks up and says, "What's different Ray? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"
Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW COWBOY BOOTS!!!!!!"
To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."
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| 1/10/2011 1:45:10 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
The priest in a small Irish village loved the c*ck and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the c*ck went missing! The priest knew that c*ck fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.
During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a c*ck?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a c*ck?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a c*ck that doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY c*ck?"
All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
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| 1/10/2011 1:55:32 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
roflmao
|
| 1/10/2011 1:57:31 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Tony stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Tony?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
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| 1/10/2011 1:58:23 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
|
coffeetime
Seymour, TN
70, joined Jul. 2008
|
 OMG Sassy gal that was sooooooooooo dang funny... Good one
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| 1/10/2011 2:01:16 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to
teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to
the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but
it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
the dinner table.
And you, little Tony, can you use your brain for
once and show us your good manners?' 'I would say:
Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of
mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
The teacher fainted...
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| 1/10/2011 2:08:58 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
|
newlady2
Goldsboro, NC
78, joined Apr. 2008
|
more like the truth !! LOL
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| 1/10/2011 2:26:23 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED...
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your a** in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.
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| 1/10/2011 2:43:29 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
|
newlady2
Goldsboro, NC
78, joined Apr. 2008
|
aw hell shes lost it ..
|
| 1/10/2011 2:44:34 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
 you
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| 1/10/2011 7:46:03 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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iamaperson
Medicine Hat, AB
67, joined Nov. 2008
|
Since more and more Seniors ( 55 plus ) are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts,this is the code for you..... for the younger ones…..you need to understand our lingo !
ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Fell
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
LMGA: Lost My Glasses Again
GLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)
|
| 1/12/2011 11:40:06 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
One day, a woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start supper." The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start supper." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah, I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." After supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "Hey, there's only an inch of water in the tub!" "Yes," the husband replies. "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
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| 1/12/2011 11:41:51 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
|
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| 1/12/2011 11:42:13 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
|
chancey ............ but
|
| 1/12/2011 11:47:15 AM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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areyoutheone61
Fayetteville, NC
71, joined Apr. 2008
|
It's lottery night, Power Ball. Wondering what my odds are of my having the winning raffle ticket. Oh well, it's just a buck.
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| 1/12/2011 12:17:46 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
The Fantasy Perfect Day - Her
8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms
The fantasy Perfect Day - Him
6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless).
Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep
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| 1/12/2011 12:21:15 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
|
Speaking of...I got Took! Ripped Off! Swindled!
I bought Tiger Woods new video "My Best 18 Holes"...
Found out it was all about Golf!!!!!!! 
.
.
.
.
.
.
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| 1/12/2011 12:24:37 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
|
Speaking of...I got Took! Ripped Off! Swindled!
I bought Tiger Woods new video "My Best 18 Holes"...
Found out it was all about Golf!!!!!!!
[Edited 1/12/2011 12:26:39 PM ]
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| 1/12/2011 12:26:41 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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summer200
Decherd, TN
74, joined Nov. 2010
|
Speaking of...I got Took! Ripped Off! Swindled!
I bought Tiger Woods new video "My Best 18 Holes"...
Found out it was all about Golf!!!!!!!
.
. So you're over 60 and you still do remember
.
.
.
.
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| 1/12/2011 12:27:37 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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igayle
Marshfield, MO
78, joined Jun. 2010
|
Sassy...Cnile
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| 1/12/2011 12:28:56 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
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Yes I do remember..I don't like Golf !
You ladies keep the rest fresh in my mind !
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| 1/12/2011 12:35:16 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
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gayle,, I hope you meant Sassy & cnile, because the old Bull will read this as
Sassy is c nile
and you know he will not leave that alone..
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| 1/12/2011 1:56:54 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sassy_lassy
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007
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TRAIN TICKET
Three women and three men are travelling by train to the football match.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.
'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men.
'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.. The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' says one perplexed man.
'Watch and learn,' answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.
The woman knocks on their door and says, 'Ticket, please.'
I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women
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| 1/12/2011 3:52:36 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
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| 1/12/2011 4:36:49 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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birthdaycake
Flower Mound, TX
69, joined Dec. 2008
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WoW!!..Sassy....power of woman
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| 1/12/2011 9:24:05 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sunny3881
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010
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| 1/13/2011 12:05:01 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sunny3881
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010
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| 1/13/2011 12:37:36 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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rangerguy3
Tavernier, FL
79, joined Jan. 2008
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| 1/13/2011 4:44:03 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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delideliteful
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010
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| 1/13/2011 6:14:17 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011
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A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek says, "We had great mathematicians." The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire." And so on and so on for hours, until finally the Greek lights up and says, "We invented sex." The Italian nods slowly and thinks, then replies, "That is true, but it was Italians who introduced it to women."
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| 1/13/2011 6:25:02 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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sunny_
Paintsville, KY
70, joined Feb. 2009
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Just passing through.
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| 1/13/2011 6:39:53 PM |
Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. |
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morles
San Antonio, TX
73, joined Nov. 2007
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that is cute Sunny...
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in San Antonio.
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she
pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked,
...................."What man here will buy a woman a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at
the end of the bar, an owly-eyed Cowboy slammed his hand down on the
counter and bellowed,
................."Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down.
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them,
revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked,
..................."What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same the cowboy slapped his money down on the bar
and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the drunk Cowboy and said, "Tell me, Partner,
it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you
keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk "Texan Cowboy" replied,
................"Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
...........................................
[Edited 1/13/2011 6:41:12 PM ]
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