Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment

9/4/2015 8:47:18 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
9/4/2015 8:55:38 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hacksawjimthugn Bakersfield, CA 32, joined Aug. 2014	Probably need to work on yourself before entering another relationship then.
9/4/2015 9:08:54 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
redscorpio15 Katy, TX 39, joined Nov. 2009	try getting some counseling
9/4/2015 9:16:46 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
nuerofire78 Sunnyvale, TX 37, joined Aug. 2013	Those feelings will gradually lift with the correct therapist and nutrients. My current gf loves me and I love her despite our issues. He just isn't likely the right guy for you anyway.
9/4/2015 9:46:56 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
pickygirl72 Phelan, CA 45, joined Sep. 2011	Quote from hard2follow2: ...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. Find a good counselor/therapist.
9/4/2015 10:12:22 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cuileann San Antonio, TX 48, joined Aug. 2015	Quote from hacksawjimthugn: Probably need to work on yourself before entering another relationship then. Definitely
9/4/2015 10:34:08 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 50, joined Jul. 2013	At least you're admitting it now u need to, admit u need help op
9/4/2015 10:34:18 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
amusicluvr Salem, OR 63, joined Nov. 2013	OP - If you are still whining about it, at this late date, you have NOT overcome it. If you had overcome it, you WOULD feel secure. Stop the babblespeak bullshit, and get real. Overcoming is not one of those things you spend a lifetime at. It is not a process. It is an achievement. You either do it, or you don't do it. In a similar way, you can not be "a little bit pregnant." Forget the past, and concentrate on the present. Ok, so you are a fk up. Admit it. Relish it. Just convince yourself that you are NOT gong to fk up today. Do that each day. Problem solved.
9/4/2015 10:50:18 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
driver406 Saint Paul, MN 63, joined Oct. 2009	Certainly the government can help you pay for some strong counseling, OPie. I'm afraid you need it. Haven't been through Reno in 25 years at least. I went to see the mint at Carson City. [Edited 9/4/2015 10:51:09 PM ]
9/5/2015 4:16:04 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	Ive been in counciling. unfortunatly Ive been hurt in so many ways its taken awhile to get through them. I will get through this too.
9/5/2015 4:51:40 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	I think conflict helps us learn if we are willing. I learned alot since i posted this. i realized that my "man" set us up to fail. He would know how to make me insecure & act surprised when i was. I actually feel stronger than I ever have. [Edited 9/5/2015 4:52:22 AM ]
9/5/2015 5:17:36 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
lareveur Sun City, CA 31, joined May. 2013	I think what you can try - is to take a break and desensitize your emotional investments in people - until all you have to rely on for such gratification is you. This might sound a bit odd (even narcissistic) but I think you have to try to become infatuated with yourself first; before you can transfer / share those feelings onto others. You can do this by reading a TON of philosophy books you take pride in discovering, juggling hobbies that you're not only good at but enjoy engaging in and just saturate your core being in those aspects of life CONSTANTLY. Pamper and take care of yourself, CONSTANTLY. It's not going to be easy - or done overnight. But if you take that time - I believe you'll eventually feel your self worth and realize that the time you used to enjoy life was in fact - a CONSTANT affirmation of your own value, your investment in yourself as well as your dreams and ideals being reflected back at you. Your confidence will fall to it and fill in the rest - life will become more fulfilling and opportunistic for you. Abandonment is a self worth issue (I feel unworthy of this man, etc...) the only cure I can think of, would be its core opposite - "I AM entitled" or "I deserve this." I hope this helps - if you want to PM me, do not hesitate... you are more than welcome. Cheers.
9/5/2015 6:36:56 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
twining Anderson, SC 23, joined Jun. 2014	It's possible that you're letting the wrong part of you choose who you want to be with. They may not be the right kind of guys for you. Counciling, theropy. In my opinion, they're not worth the money. Don't let people convince you that something's wrong with you. This is only an internet forum where people don't actually know you personally to begin with.
9/5/2015 6:40:04 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	I havebeen reading alot. A book called stalking the soul. part of it talked about unconscious abuse. Im sad still. Its only been a few days & I miss the good side of him. Its really hard lovingsomeone who acts like you dont matter. it started to hurt so bad that I couldnt thinkabout anything except how he acts like its alot to help pay bills, but he doesn't mind pampering himself. Hes off having fun while I take care of our kid. I dont know how he can justify himself but he acts like he's right & Im crazy. In a way hes right. Giving love to someone who goes back & forth is hard. He would say things like how I "never listened to him" and I was selfish. Alot of what he said about me washow he is. Not that Im perfect. I do have things about myself I need to change.
9/5/2015 6:41:15 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	Abandonment is a self esteem issue.
9/5/2015 6:44:39 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hurryme Bloomingdale, GA 51, joined Mar. 2011	Have another drink and chat with me in the morning..
9/5/2015 6:54:43 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
twining Anderson, SC 23, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: I havebeen reading alot. A book called stalking the soul. part of it talked about unconscious abuse. Im sad still. Its only been a few days & I miss the good side of him. Its really hard lovingsomeone who acts like you dont matter. it started to hurt so bad that I couldnt thinkabout anything except how he acts like its alot to help pay bills, but he doesn't mind pampering himself. Hes off having fun while I take care of our kid. I dont know how he can justify himself but he acts like he's right & Im crazy. In a way hes right. Giving love to someone who goes back & forth is hard. He would say things like how I "never listened to him" and I was selfish. Alot of what he said about me washow he is. Not that Im perfect. I do have things about myself I need to change. And that's your problem. You're probably one of the people who will always love harder and longer than any partner you will ever be with. No matter what they do to you, you always feel like you're the one in the wrong. When you step away from a relationship, every single fault of that person will become clear to you. Just take some time and it'll become clear to you. A relationship is about two people, not one and a half.
9/5/2015 6:58:44 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from hard2follow2: ...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. Mind talk is NOT going to help you OP ... otherwise I could say the magic words YABA DABA DO and you are fixed up ... besides it was not mind talk that messed you up .. huh ? It was physical stuff .. physical abandonment .. physical abuse ... physical life issues. So ... get into Traditional 5 Element accupuncture .. Hot Yoga .. Biofeedback ... Massage Therapy. Stuff that will help you move your muscle memory and get the bitter salty tears out and heal up your broken heart. Besides you always pick some one ... just as messed up as your Mom and Dad any way. Happens to every one. Your Dad getting taco sauce on the swartzn**ger by having sex with the upstairs maid .. just guess who you are going to marry and want to play house with ?? Watch the video on the Duck Disease ... and figure out how that got into your duck disease. Everyone has the Duck Disease and every one has to heal it up .. you just go more energy behind the broken heart then most people so you have to cry a little bit more to heal it up There is no damaged heart that can not be healed up by love. So .. you can fix this up. sumbuddie wear blind sea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1QrxgZtqik
9/5/2015 8:45:06 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
dr_i_got_answer Gwynn Oak, MD 49, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: I think conflict helps us learn if we are willing. I learned alot since i posted this. i realized that my "man" set us up to fail. He would know how to make me insecure & act surprised when i was. I actually feel stronger than I ever have. See at first I was with you. All ready to give you some credit most women in here don'r deserve. You were taki.g responsibility for your short comings and owning it. But before we could get off the first page... THERE YOU GO! Doing that "peanut butter and jelly, spread the blame on his bread" tactic that most women do to drag that man down with you. If you've been dealing with this all your life, according to you, then how the hell is he at fault NOW when he haven't known you all your life and you just admitted it was yours? Confused much?
9/5/2015 9:31:05 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
lareveur Sun City, CA 31, joined May. 2013	Quote from hard2follow2: I havebeen reading alot. A book called stalking the soul. part of it talked about unconscious abuse. Im sad still. Its only been a few days & I miss the good side of him. Its really hard lovingsomeone who acts like you dont matter. it started to hurt so bad that I couldnt thinkabout anything except how he acts like its alot to help pay bills, but he doesn't mind pampering himself. Hes off having fun while I take care of our kid. I dont know how he can justify himself but he acts like he's right & Im crazy. In a way hes right. Giving love to someone who goes back & forth is hard. He would say things like how I "never listened to him" and I was selfish. Alot of what he said about me washow he is. Not that Im perfect. I do have things about myself I need to change. Welcome to my world - I had to cut all ties with a best friend - a man whom I have known for well over 20 years and was in love with him for more than 10 years. So, as I said - if you want to start a private club - PM me lol.
9/5/2015 9:47:32 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
dr_i_got_answer Gwynn Oak, MD 49, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: Its only been a few days & I miss the good side of him. Its really hard lovingsomeone who acts like you dont matter. it started to hurt so bad that I couldnt think about anything except how he acts like its alot to help pay bills, but he doesn't mind pampering himself. Hes off having fun while I take care of our kid. I dont know how he can justify himself but he acts like he's right & Im crazy. In a way hes right. Giving love to someone who goes back & forth is hard. He would say things like how I "never listened to him" and I was selfish. Alot of what he said about me was how he is. Not that Im perfect. I do have things about myself I need to change. You chased him off. Now i'm NOT and will NEVER say its ok for a man to walk away from his child but when women start acting crazy some men feel they have no choice. He can't pay bills or take care of his kid behind bars bcuz you went crazy and had him arrested for something stupid. So its better to walk away.
9/5/2015 9:50:13 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
4uijack New Port Richey, FL 80, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from hard2follow2: Abandonment is a self esteem issue. Wanna suck sum d*ck, OP?
9/5/2015 9:54:26 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	I didnt really act crazy. I just get emotional. I sent some texts but just for my own closure. Im sad but I feel strong. Spent the day rearranging my house. I dont feel guilty for anything, just hurt & misunderstood.
9/5/2015 9:55:09 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
dr_i_got_answer Gwynn Oak, MD 49, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from lareveur: Welcome to my world - I had to cut all ties with a best friend - a man whom I have known for well over 20 years and was in love with him for more than 10 years. So, as I said - if you want to start a private club - PM me lol. Then after recruiting about 50 more members yall can discuss how to destroy the last of the good men who are hiding out in secret places to survive the onslaught.
9/5/2015 9:57:30 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	No one is perfect. I can admitwhen Im wrong & I wont spendmy life with someone who cant. Its childish. & frustrating.
9/5/2015 10:07:52 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
dr_i_got_answer Gwynn Oak, MD 49, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: Abandonment is a self esteem issue. But we don't know all the facts surrounding that though. I know someone who claimed to have been abandoned when she was young. But she didn't tell the part where she was off the hook, running the streets, dropped outta school, always in trouble, sneaking boys in the house during the day, drinking and getting high, talking back to her parents, being disrespectful, stealing and staying out late! After her parents tried for years to get her straight. But when she almost caused them to lose their home they said "THATS IT!" and cut her loose. But her version of the story was they abandoned her. So anyone with good sense wouldn't just ACCEPT that you were abandoned without more facts.
9/5/2015 10:20:21 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
dr_i_got_answer Gwynn Oak, MD 49, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: I didnt really act crazy. I just get emotional. I sent some texts but just for my own closure. Im sad but I feel strong. Spent the day rearranging my house. I dont feel guilty for anything, just hurt & misunderstood. This post is so deceiving. You say you didn't REALLY act crazy, you just got emotional? That has so much sugar on it its ridiculous. You're sugarcoating your behavior with a "socially acceptable" excuse. You sent some txts just for your closure? Another sugarcoat! I bet if we could read the actual txt msgs it would read as closure. And now you don't feel guilty?
9/5/2015 11:10:39 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	what I meant was I didnt light his shit on fire or anything lol. I dont need to prove my life, Im just looking for insight.
9/6/2015 3:50:05 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 60, joined Apr. 2011	First off op....thank you for being a woman and admitting you have some issues, and have caused some failures. I wish more women would admit that, instead of blaming everything on men all the time. To be honest...I quick read some things said here in the thread. Most likely, this all started well before you ever became of age to have boyfriends. I think insecurities that originated in childhood. But, that you get attracted to men who seem strong and perhaps overly secure. Which can be a bad mix...because overly secure types, generally don't show as much consistent affection and etc, where as you need more of that maybe than the average person.....this causes you to wonder about them....etc, and express this, eventually pushing them away and compounding the situation to be worse. The opposites attract thing, works okay, but if they are too different, then its not a good thing.....compatibility is a great thing...and the compatibility for the capacity to love and show it is likely the most important compatibility. Meaning if two people can love without getting so deep about it and showing it a lot, needing more space, then they are better off together. If two people are the types to fall deeper and express this more often...they are better off together. So... I think either you have some genetic thing you may have picked up from the family tree, that could be an issue causing this in you. Or...you have insecurities from your childhood.....and sometimes both I listed here can be a case of one results from the other. a parent simply passed down to their kids, how they were treated by the parent who made them this way. If its not all this and merely a case where you have this high capacity to love and show it....and you can't find a match for that. Then I say...why can't I find a woman like that, because I haven't found one yet, who matches my capacity to love and show it. but I do suspect this all relates to insecurities that started in your childhood from a parent or both parents.
9/6/2015 3:52:13 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 60, joined Apr. 2011	If I am right about the above and it is childhood insecurities....its not a case of finding the right guy to overcome it with. That never works. Its case of getting pro help to overcome to better point....these issues and insecurities.
9/6/2015 8:31:49 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
testsignup Springfield, VA 62, joined Sep. 2009 online now!	There's not enough information here to say anything definitive about anything, OP, but Bumble is generally on the right track. Psychological injuries are almost the same as physical ones, in every way save that they rarely leave easily visible evidence. In every other way, they are the same. As with physical injury, how much a given psychological assault or accident damages an individual, depends partly on the person themselves, and partly on the environment they have to try to recover in. Some people are more emotionally reactive than others. This is PHYSIOLOGICAL at least as much, and probably more than it is psychological, but it's not often correctly understood. This is why, in a household with two or more children, and an abusive parent or a parent who deserts them, one or more children may recover easily, while another one is damaged more deeply, and for a much longer time. Because things such as bone density and blood flow and oxygen exchange rates CAN be measured, and neurological effects which result in thoughts being shaped or limited CAN NOT, a lot of people come to the ignorant and idiotic conclusion that psychological damage is all in the imagination of the sufferer. Essentially, too many people think "if I can't see it, it doesn't exist." This all too common phenomenon is part of the environment that I mentioned above. A purposely abused or accidentally psychologically injured person who is repeatedly told simply to "suck it up, or admit you are to blame," will have their recovery seriously impaired. And unfortunately, the American culture in particular, with it's myth-based insistence on everyone being "self-made," those of us who have been injured, often suffer twice as much as we should, going forward. You mentioned, but didn't elaborate on "abandonment" issues. That's a general term, but I can say that regardless of exactly what you mean by it, that it's very common for people who suffer from it, to gravitate towards people who are actually the nearly exact wrong match for them. That is, they tend to be attracted to people who PUT ON a huge show of being strong in some way. The hope behind the tendency, is that they will find a person who is strong enough to stick with them and save them from their own self doubt. But unfortunately, people who pride themselves on shows of strength, actually are much MORE likely to commit more acts of abuse, and to discard people who fail to support their own desire to think of themselves as powerful. So in a way, it may be true that you are your own worst enemy in your relationships, but it's not because you CAUSE them to fail, or that you "drive your men away." The problem is more likely that you are accidentally choosing men who are LIKELY to abuse you and then desert you.
9/6/2015 12:23:38 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from hard2follow2: I didnt really act crazy. I just get emotional. I sent some texts but just for my own closure. Im sad but I feel strong. Spent the day rearranging my house. I dont feel guilty for anything, just hurt & misunderstood. You are not crazy sweetie .. just have a small case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Easy to fix up ... Watch the video .. get clean and sober for 8 years .. and do Recovery. This will make you cry out the bitter salty tears that are biochemically different then tears of joy and happiness, those are light and sweet. Every tear is a stitch in the broken heart ... every sob is the sound of the breaks coming together. If you do IT NOT ... then you will just keeping getting the same shit you have always gotten as your Defense Structure is working on healing your broken heart the hard way. Whereas .. you could be healing up your broken heart .. the easy way. Good luck ... it works .. if you work it. sumbuddie wear blind sea
9/6/2015 12:52:09 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
ladyseekinggent New Milford, NJFreiland Austria 42, joined Aug. 2010	Quote from redscorpio15: try getting some counseling Talk about it to your friends and a Psychotherapist, but no offense stay away from psychiatrists they are prescription happy and literally run on a time clock. After the hour is up they ask you to leave and make sure they give you a prescription on your way out. Then they tell you when they go on vacation and that someone else will fill in for them for a month. So while you are getting over some of your addictions by talking it through, you end up addicted to pills and the pills have side effects on your body and mind some major and bad. Try meditation, it works. You can buy the music at any music store. The spiritualist will walk you through ridding your mind and body of toxic thoughts and at the end you feel super relaxed . Or join a class like yoga. I hope this helps. [Edited 9/6/2015 12:52:38 PM ]
9/6/2015 2:39:41 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
ur1destination Far Rockaway, NY 42, joined Aug. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: ...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. OP You need to see a psychologist and work on the mental aspect of your life!
9/6/2015 2:57:28 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from ur1destination: OP You need to see a psychologist and work on the mental aspect of your life! Nothing is wrong with her mind or mental ability. She has a problem with 'Relationships' ... as her relationship with mom and dad was broken, and broken with her heart as a child. She doesn't have a good relationship with others ... with guys .. with sex .. with intimacy. She doesn't have a good relationship with her self and her emotional IQ. She doesn't have a good relationship with her Higher Power even. This happens with all addicts as well .. regardless if the addiction is drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex ... etc. The Alcohol comes first ... not them .. not their wife .. not their kids .. not their job. The Alcohol or the addiction is the primary relationship they are involved with as strongly as with their baby bottle. Take their baby bottle away they are sticking into a hole .. they gonna get angry and have a todldler tantrum. Adults have a tantrum as well when you make fun of their Volcano God they are addicted to. And they get all Bristol 'Big Middle Finger' Pallin on you .. cause they are addicts. [URL=http://www.sherv.net/][/URL] They do not give a fk about other people or them selves ... Addicts do not care about the rights of others. Addicts do not care about the welfare of others. OP is one of the 'Other' people and her rights and her welfare are not part of her consideration. She is a Romance Addict .. and she plays with Sex addicts. Romance addicts move on ... Sex addicts hit on ... Relationship addicts hold on. I call Relationship addicts as having the 'Pit Bull Syndrome' as you have to shoot them to get them to 'let go'. So .... For OP to fix up her Relationship issues .. she has to fix up her Duck Disease. This is in her Muscle Memory .. and the Applied Psychophysiology interventions work the best. Love is what is going to fix all this .. and it has to fit inside of her body. Love stings .. for Love has a power to it .. and she has to get used to that sting. Much like taking a case off a broken arm .. it feels everything. She has a broken heart ... to fix that she have to feel everything with Love until she gets used to it. This is something that her Parents did not want to do. For ... If you hate your Mom you are going to be an addict .. and will remain an addict as long as that hate is there and is fix with love. If you hate your Dad you will have divorces, affairs and dead children for a future .. and that will continue until the hate is fix with love. Mom and Dad are still sick fks .. and the pity has to move in there with the recognition they have no love and need it. JEB 'El Tortosis' Bush .. has no idea of love for he is a genetic psychopath. He doesn't cry .. he is a monster .. genetically speaking. Same for Ah-hold 'Taco Sauce' Swartzn**ger .. Or for Hillary 'Taco sauce licker' Clinton ... they are monsters. They do not cry ... They have no emotions. OP does have emotions .. she is like 99 % of all human beings. she can fix this up ... and it is easy to fix up. Open up the body .. make the space for it .. and then ask for the love to come in. That is all that is needed .. is those two things. Ask for the love ... (1) be open and willing .. (2). It will come in .. and it will sting .. it will hurt like hell. Until you get used to it ... Then you will be full of love and full of power. When these water bags get to full of the spirit .. they just naturally weep. It will make the rain fall .. and her garden grow. Do it not .. she just stays a dry dessert full of fossilized shit on her soil that she and every one else can see. The rain makes the compost .. makes the garden grow. Simple to do .. just a corker to get done. Get to work OP ... Fix the heart and you fixed it all ... sumbuddie wear blind sea
9/6/2015 5:33:25 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	Thank you all. I am doing better. Everything you all said made perfect sense. Later I will get on my laptop so I can respond better. Im changing my house. He left a real mess when he moved out, not just in my heart lol. jk
9/6/2015 6:26:11 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
iheartidiots Grove City, OH 38, joined Feb. 2012	Yep work on you. Like B said, if it relates to childhood then you need help. Years of it. Not just here and there. I can relate to your thread. Hang in there.
9/6/2015 7:30:40 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
jjp184 Somerset, NJ 52, joined Jun. 2013	Out with the old, in with the new
9/6/2015 8:15:37 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from hard2follow2: Thank you all. I am doing better. Everything you all said made perfect sense. Later I will get on my laptop so I can respond better. Im changing my house. He left a real mess when he moved out, not just in my heart lol. jk Sweetie .. after you ... fix .. you up especially with the traditional 5 element accupuncture (Licensed practioner who went to school and got a degree in accupuncture and does only that) ... have to get a good one. There is a 90 % chance it will work real well on you. Anyhow .. after you fix up your broken heart and yup .. it takes a bit ... especially if you are an addict then you have to be clean and sober for 8 years .. and grow up. Abraham Maslow came up with the 8 stages of growth for children .. which every child has to go though for emotional IQ reasons. Well in Recovery those 8 stages gets done in 8 years .. one each for 7 years .. and the 8th year ... all 7 of them you went through .. you get to go through again .. all stacked up in the 8th year. The 8th year of Recovery sucks. However once you get through it you are largely free of addiction issues. ALSO .. when you fix your self up .. then the sick pricks naturally keep their distance and you are not interested in them. You will find a guy who WANTS to give him self to you, cause he is a healthy prick. Be patient .. do the work .. and all you want you will have beyond your wildest dreams. sumbuddie wear blind sea
9/6/2015 10:23:23 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	I agree Ive been staying positive. Ive made amends with everyone I f**ked up with. Its been a pretty good day. I'm still sad. I cry sometimes. I miss him & I wish things were different. But I deserve someone whos really going to be there & help. For the first time ever I feel like I have hope.
9/6/2015 11:14:05 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from hard2follow2: I agree Ive been staying positive. Ive made amends with everyone I f**ked up with. Its been a pretty good day. I'm still sad. I cry sometimes. I miss him & I wish things were different. But I deserve someone whos really going to be there & help. For the first time ever I feel like I have hope. I was lucky enough to find a woman I loved so much I was willing to die for her. She did everything right. The love is real ... and I did not want to be angry at her, or have resentment or bitterness in my head from my judgments and expectations. So for me ... to be free of the hurt and pain .. I asked for more love. I get this love from my Higher Power ... so that is where I get it from and I wanted more to take away the hurt and pain. So .. it went like this ... 'God you gave me this love for this person, now give me more'. I cried ... and cried as the spirit got real big in me. TODAY .. nothing bothers me. The love gave me wisdom ... and freedom from my prison of fears. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. So in this cloud of gray .. there is a silver lining here and it is pretty BIG silver lining. grab for that ... it is a nice pay off. sumbuddie wear blind sea [Edited 9/6/2015 11:15:02 PM ]
9/6/2015 11:25:36 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
greeleybro Longmont, CO 48, joined Oct. 2013	Maybe u should have swallowed.... Js
9/7/2015 12:01:55 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
driver406 Saint Paul, MN 63, joined Oct. 2009	So have I, but you learn to deal with it or you croak.
9/7/2015 2:49:47 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 60, joined Apr. 2011	Well op....if it will make you feel any better. all but one woman in one way or another....side stepping this way men have of settling from what they want....meaning they will never get it that way. I've been pretty much been screwed over by the rest of them. If most men look at it the way women look at it....then most men would say the same thing.
9/8/2015 12:08:00 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
marriedncheatin Twin Falls, ID 49, joined Jul. 2012	Quote from hard2follow2: ...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. Yes you might be fked up and are the cause of your own pain but most likely a man fked you up first! And no I'm not a man hater because I am a man but with all the women I've talked to..it seems that men are breaking women alot
9/8/2015 6:04:04 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
pudiitatt Barstow, CA 50, joined Aug. 2014	Quote from hacksawjimthugn: Probably need to work on yourself before entering another relationship then. ^excellent advice, Hack
9/8/2015 6:04:51 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
rightguyforu92 Naperville, IL 36, joined Feb. 2015 online now!	Puditatt has had sex with over 100 dudes.
9/8/2015 6:15:40 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
lareveur Sun City, CA 31, joined May. 2013	Quote from dr_i_got_answer: Then after recruiting about 50 more members yall can discuss how to destroy the last of the good men who are hiding out in secret places to survive the onslaught. Sweetie - if I was ever in charge of recruitment, I can get a hell of a lot more than just 50 weak a** members. And you're wrong about the secret places - we do that shit out in the open at church... or at your local Wal-Mart (lots of damaged looking men "hiding" in there) lol.
9/8/2015 10:18:15 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
mrfckinpetey Orlando, FL 31, joined Jun. 2014	Quote from hard2follow2: ...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. Be strong, you're still beautiful and obviously have a big heart. Eventually you'll find someone that will look past the flaws.
9/8/2015 10:32:45 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from mrfckinpetey: Be strong, you're still beautiful and obviously have a big heart. Eventually you'll find someone that will look past the flaws. she is the one who is 'pushing' them away ... tells them 'Don't see me - Don't talk to me' stuff like that. There is a guy who is going to see that as a flaw and ignore her pushing away stuff and force himself on her and stalking with staying .. and look past her flaws. just to show her .. he loves her ,,, is that how this suppose to work out with Mr.Wonderful ... when she can not deal with the pain of love .. and the pain of sticking it out and has to run away. Otherwise she would cry. Which is what any addict does who gets taco sauce on their swartzn*ger as a flaw in his relationship issues. For Ah-Nold to give him self to his woman, be honest, etc .. he would have to cry. She is a monster who do not cry .. just like he is a monster who do not cry. Her Mom and Dad were monsters who did not cry and that got into her Duck Disease. She has to fix up her flaws in her muscle memory ... not keep them around Pete. It works that way for everyone .. including YOU !!! You can not get out of the Duck Disease it is part of the Human Condition .. all you can do is become aware of it and fix it. Do it not .. and this shit keeps on going as she is making it up just like Ah-Nold is making it up. Maria is suppose to see past his flaws and get all Billary on him and keep licking that taco sauce cause really she is a sick cnt who is more of Monster then he is Have to swallow that swartznger and your emotions ... knowing where that swartznger has BEEN !!!. I know you mean well Pete ... but ... seriously .. you do not know what you are talking about Holmes. sumbuddie wear blind sea
9/8/2015 11:20:45 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
mrfckinpetey Orlando, FL 31, joined Jun. 2014	I know lots of women like her. They just need to find that guy that doesn't give up and breaks past her shell. I've seen it work out well a few times that way.
9/8/2015 2:04:30 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from mrfckinpetey: I know lots of women like her. They just need to find that guy that doesn't give up and breaks past her shell. I've seen it work out well a few times that way. ohhhhh .. it is like breaking their hymen shell and making a little blood ... gotcha ... it is a GOOD Thing. well .. a few times any way.
9/8/2015 2:43:43 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	Ive been talking with friends alot & they say that too. I have to find someone who knows how to love me. Im not looking for a relationship. i was on here before for the forums. dont mind being alone. Plus, unfortunatly I still love my ex. I dont even know why bcuz he was pretty shitty at the end. Love sucks lol.
9/8/2015 2:51:41 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
sweettlisa Evansville, IN 51, joined Jul. 2014	((hugs)) to u
9/8/2015 3:15:04 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from hard2follow2: Ive been talking with friends alot & they say that too. I have to find someone who knows how to love me. Im not looking for a relationship. i was on here before for the forums. dont mind being alone. Plus, unfortunatly I still love my ex. I dont even know why bcuz he was pretty shitty at the end. Love sucks lol. that is not how love works darling ... The person you love is exactly like Mom and Dad where all your buried issues of resentment and bitterness are. If Daddy is having sex with the upstairs maid .. while Daddy is having sex with Mommy and all the children. Well .. you are going to fall in love with a guy that will play house, have baby sex with you, say all 'LOVE' words while he is having sex with your son .. and your neighbors son. He is a piece of shit for a human being .. BUT YOU LOVE HIM !!! Just like Mrs. Dennis Hastert loves the AhNold Clinton she married up with. The love is suppose to burn through your blindness as an adult and as a child .. since you picked him. It is all about YOU ... and your problems. He is just a teacher .. just like you are a teacher for him. The Defense Structure makes up love and makes up with 'Love Sucks' stuff .. to get you to understand love. Have the pity for the piece of shit for a human being he is .. have you wake up and do the work of crying out the bitter salty tears. Otherwise .. you will just pick another swartzn**ger who will rape your children .. and those of your neighbors. Change you .. and you change the world .. change your future .. change what you do. Fix up your Duck Disease ... simple to do ... just a corker to get done. That .. or keep doing what you are doing with reaping the casualites, saddness and regrets. Making more pain for you, your future and your children. Simply because you do not want to cry ... make the rain fall ... compost your own shit .. and grow your tree. Your Daddy and Mommy were stunted in their growth .. and you are just like them, stunted in your growth. You pick a guy who is stunted in his growth and are just like them to show you where your issues are. You know HE is not the problem .. you are the problem. so .. fix you. Then you will find a guy who is just like a fixed up Dad and NOT a piece of shit for a human being. simple as that ... sumbuddie wear blind sea again ... watch the video ... understand the Duck Disease and the Human Condition we are all born with.
9/8/2015 3:29:28 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
rightguyforu92 Naperville, IL 36, joined Feb. 2015 online now!	Op ur just a f**kup, thats all....Life has winners and losers....ur just a loser. Someone has to play that role.
9/8/2015 3:52:42 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from rightguyforu92: Op ur just a f**kup, thats all....Life has winners and losers....ur just a loser. Someone has to play that role. see .. just like dear old dad ...
9/9/2015 7:50:14 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
hard2follow2 Reno, NV 39, joined Oct. 2013	Quote from rightguyforu92: Op ur just a f**kup, thats all....Life has winners and losers....ur just a loser. Someone has to play that role. I still think you look like a retarded super hero, but that's just me
9/9/2015 10:16:13 PM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Quote from hard2follow2: I still think you look like a retarded super hero, but that's just me retards do not wear the cape I guess ...
9/10/2015 8:41:41 AM	Ive spent mywhole life overcoming abandonment
viper1e Jeannette, PA 57, joined Dec. 2013	Quote from hard2follow2: ...I still keep fking up my relationships. Its hard for me to feelsecure with anyone. I drove myman & now he doesnt want anything to do with me. I dont blamehim. I dont want to be this way. Im self ddestructive, as soon as I felt really happy, I fked it up. Well, judging from all the positive energy in your profile...

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