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1/16/2016 11:00:04 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
mortara
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,082)
Pittsburgh, PA
62, joined Feb. 2014
online now!


Quote from grande_mamon:
That only shows who is patient.

A person can want to f**k your brains out on the first date AND still be interested in you as a person for the long term... just as someone can have the ability to wait for date #9 to get the goods and then dump you straight away once they do.

Personally I respect a woman more who doesn't play the waiting game and she'd be more likely to be taken seriously.


I met this guy and he has a general rule of only one f**k. It might be that night or a year later. It matters not to him. You come to his bed or he comes to yours once and then your done even if it takes a year. In the mean time he is all nice words. He was trained in nice words at one of the best Universities in Pittsburgh.

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1/16/2016 2:21:07 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

chillindillan
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,522)
Entwistle, AB
45, joined Aug. 2013


Depends on the type of kiss perhaps thats where it begins or ends.
When I was 18 or 20 I saw this drop dead gorgeous girl it the local club so I asked her if I could kiss her, BOLD you say maybe but if she was the one why wait? Next we planned a date but she was to waist'd & sick I never did see her again but 25 years later I still think about it. a coulda woulda?

1/16/2016 2:27:00 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

chillindillan
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,522)
Entwistle, AB
45, joined Aug. 2013


I did it twice, 1st time horny stupidity 2nd x immaturity we dated but never ever any thought of way Jose! Biggest regret there was had better opportunity but to old fashion

1/17/2016 4:18:52 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

renee398
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,739)
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015


I would not do anything on a first date, even if I found him very attractive, he'd never know it,that soon. I've learned to keep my feelings hidden and hormones buried.

1/17/2016 7:18:12 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

bookwormtobutte
Rio Rancho, NM
36, joined Jan. 2016


If the mood is right & you're both feeling the chemistry I say go for it. Life is short

1/17/2016 7:20:23 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from renee398:
I would not do anything on a first date, even if I found him very attractive, he'd never know it,that soon. I've learned to keep my feelings hidden and hormones buried.
Yes. We know that women are the masters of hiding their feelings.

Man: "Is something wrong?"
Womanmaking scowling face with arms crossed and sneering voice)"No. I'm fine."

1/17/2016 10:09:46 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
blurussian
Tarawa Terrace, NC
27, joined Dec. 2015


I am an adult. If I seem to have undeniable chemistry with a man, so long as I am practicing safe sex, it is only 'our' business as to what intimacy happens at the end of a date. I don't need approval nor permission- I do not answer to anyone, but myself, for the decisions I make.

1/17/2016 12:00:23 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

viper1e
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,305)
Jeannette, PA
58, joined Dec. 2013


Quote from renee398:
I would not do anything on a first date, even if I found him very attractive, he'd never know it,that soon. I've learned to keep my feelings hidden and hormones buried.


Sure about that?

Bet I could make you... re-assess your position on that.

1/17/2016 4:30:32 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

chillindillan
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,522)
Entwistle, AB
45, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from blurussian:
I am an adult. If I seem to have undeniable chemistry with a man, so long as I am practicing safe sex, it is only 'our' business as to what intimacy happens at the end of a date. I don't need approval nor permission- I do not answer to anyone, but myself, for the decisions I make.


Sienna's problem is she is afraid of her own shadow so searching for answers here is more proof of that eh!

1/17/2016 4:39:54 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (188,071)
Assumption, IL
67, joined May. 2010


Nono

1/17/2016 6:23:04 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


I would not do anything on a first date, even if I found him very attractive,

That's what I thought too until
That's why I don't like meeting till I know them quite a bit xD

Sienna's problem is she is afraid of her own shadow so searching for answers here is more proof of that eh!

Lol wat, I come from YA answers, where I used to ask Questions
so I come here and ask Questions

1/17/2016 6:58:08 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

chillindillan
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,522)
Entwistle, AB
45, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from SadisticSienna:
Lol wat, I come from YA answers, where I used to ask Questions
so I come here and ask Questions


I come to help but if you haven't noticed most here are & no minds just their government wants them.

1/17/2016 10:12:10 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

mzteriouz8207
Temecula, CA
34, joined Feb. 2014


I think holding hands and a little kiss is ok but making out is not! It shows that probably by the next date you'll put out lol

1/17/2016 11:34:42 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


A bit of this?

1/18/2016 8:59:26 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
blurussian
Tarawa Terrace, NC
27, joined Dec. 2015


Quote from mzteriouz8207:
I think holding hands and a little kiss is ok but making out is not! It shows that probably by the next date you'll put out lol


Is there something wrong with having sex? Why would you be holding out anyways if the chemistry is there between you?

1/18/2016 4:06:49 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from blurussian:
Is there something wrong with having sex? Why would you be holding out anyways if the chemistry is there between you?
Because that is how women are. They have to be in control at all times, including control over the man. They don't think or take accountability for themselves, and when that guy doesn't call her for a second date, because she didn't out out and they both felt the same chemistry(meaning he smelled of money), she will blame him for going "ghost".

1/18/2016 4:10:57 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
badpuditatt
Over 2,000 Posts (2,371)
Paris, VA
30, joined Aug. 2014


^there he goes again. making broad generalizations about ALL women, again.

1/18/2016 4:56:33 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
im2thexy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,847)
Belleville, ON
48, joined Dec. 2014


Intimacy...yuck...men have cooties...

1/18/2016 5:30:36 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

truly000
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,894)
Fort Dodge, IA
37, joined Dec. 2011


Quote from enigmaathand:
Because that is how women are. They have to be in control at all times, including control over the man. They don't think or take accountability for themselves, and when that guy doesn't call her for a second date, because she didn't out out and they both felt the same chemistry(meaning he smelled of money), she will blame him for going "ghost".


This.. "control over the man" in this situation could be ..more about control over herself.
Just because a woman doesn't "put out" on the 1st or 2nd date.. after he paid for dinner, doesn't say she's not worth the time. Nor does it say he's not.
What it might say is that, ( man or woman)they still see value in developing a friendship, respect,and trust. They want more than just their bodies being part of it, filling carnal desires...they also want to have their heart in it too ..,establishing a relationship, building trust,respect,... love.
They allow themselves to develop vunerability towards the other.
Vulnerability is a significant aspect of lasting relationships.



[Edited 1/18/2016 5:32:35 PM ]

1/18/2016 8:31:38 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (48,490)
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009


If I could get a date I'd be all in favor of it. I've waited 33 years as it is.

1/18/2016 10:18:36 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

lucky_1million
Over 1,000 Posts (1,305)
Pewaukee, WI
49, joined Jun. 2013


Quote from blurussian:
Is there something wrong with having sex? Why would you be holding out anyways if the chemistry is there between you?



Don't get me wrong. I think that sex is great.

But... chemistry doesn't always parlay into a good relationship. There are sex skills that are good to have... and then there are "relationship" skills that are necessary to have IF you want things to last longer than a couple of weeks/months. It depends on what you like.

Personally, I'd rather have one good partner for a couple of years. But... not everyone is well-suited for a relationship. It's good to know someone's abilities beforehand. I wouldn't call it "holding out" per se, but being cautious.




I also agree with sitting down to talk about getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases before starting a new sexual relationship.

1/19/2016 1:16:59 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from badpuditatt:
^there he goes again. making broad generalizations about ALL women, again.
And there you go again, getting offended because my broad generalization applies to you, and to mask your guilt you have to insert the word "ALL" like a typical woman, despite the adjective "ALL" not being present in my original message

1/19/2016 1:27:11 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from truly000:
This.. "control over the man" in this situation could be ..more about control over herself.
Just because a woman doesn't "put out" on the 1st or 2nd date.. after he paid for dinner, doesn't say she's not worth the time. Nor does it say he's not.
What it might say is that, ( man or woman)they still see value in developing a friendship, respect,and trust. They want more than just their bodies being part of it, filling carnal desires...they also want to have their heart in it too ..,establishing a relationship, building trust,respect,... love.
They allow themselves to develop vunerability towards the other.
Vulnerability is a significant aspect of lasting relationships.
Yeah, and if he is smart, he doesn't pay for her dinner. After all, she is his "equal" now.

1/19/2016 4:21:45 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


Is there something wrong with having sex?

The sexually transmitted diseases
and pregnancy.

You can technically have sex with anyone, it's up to you to make it actually matter lol
and mean something.

Yeah I agree with Truly, I don't think it's about trying to have control over the man, more like control over herself to lower the chances of her getting hurt when/if shit goes south.
You'd be more hurt if it doesn't work and you'd had sex than if you hadn't.

1/19/2016 5:34:11 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

dan9787_3
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,172)
Laval, QC
52, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from enigmaathand:
And there you go again, getting offended because my broad generalization applies to you, and to mask your guilt you have to insert the word "ALL" like a typical woman, despite the adjective "ALL" not being present in my original message


You said women:

Quote from enigmaathand:
Because that is how women are. They have to be in control at all times, including control over the man. They don't think or take accountability for themselves, and when that guy doesn't call her for a second date, because she didn't out out and they both felt the same chemistry(meaning he smelled of money), she will blame him for going "ghost".


Not "some".

1/19/2016 5:38:55 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

dan9787_3
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,172)
Laval, QC
52, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from SadisticSienna:

Yeah I agree with Truly, I don't think it's about trying to have control over the man, more like control over herself to lower the chances of her getting hurt when/if shit goes south.
You'd be more hurt if it doesn't work and you'd had sex than if you hadn't.


Exactly.

1/19/2016 5:46:14 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from dan9787_3:
Not "some".
A generalization is defined as a broad statement or an idea that applies to a group of people or things. Oftentimes, generalizations are not entirely true, because there may be examples of individuals or situations wherein the generalization does not apply.

Meaning, that while it may not apply to ALL women, it is designed to offend the women that are guilty. By definition, a generalization MAY be true in some cases.

However, under no circumstances have I indicated ALL women. There is only one generalization, that I apply ALL to, about women: ALL women are liars.

1/19/2016 6:45:19 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


Meaning, that while it may not apply to ALL women, it is designed to offend the women that are guilty. By definition, a generalization MAY be true in some cases.

As a 'generalization' it is addressed to and would possibly offend ALL that belong to the group that is being generalized.

1/19/2016 7:03:50 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

grande_mamon
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,073)
Houston, TX
49, joined Sep. 2014


^ Good morning beautiful

1/19/2016 9:16:37 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
nyythawk
Over 1,000 Posts (1,216)
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010


Depends on the message you want to send ...how you want/care to be perceived.

And "1st date" is the thing here. I dont think its EVER a "bad" idea to hold off on the 1ST date. Sure it's happened, but I don't think any sane person expects to get hot'n heavy on the 1ST date... and again it's possible, but just don't think it's EXPECTED.

1/19/2016 9:45:17 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

dan9787_3
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,172)
Laval, QC
52, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from enigmaathand:
A generalization is defined as a broad statement or an idea that applies to a group of people or things. Oftentimes, generalizations are not entirely true, because there may be examples of individuals or situations wherein the generalization does not apply.

Meaning, that while it may not apply to ALL women, it is designed to offend the women that are guilty. By definition, a generalization MAY be true in some cases.

However, under no circumstances have I indicated ALL women. There is only one generalization, that I apply ALL to, about women: ALL women are liars.


It doesn't matter, so many of your posts are grandly exaggerating the faults of women. You seem to be in need of therapy.

1/19/2016 9:51:34 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

flyfish77
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,055)
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014


yak yak,everyones so intelligent they want everyone else to think.......

1/19/2016 10:07:05 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


Good morning beautiful

Good morning ^.^

1/19/2016 10:09:56 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

flyfish77
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,055)
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014


good day sara..wow,i think i got it hot here...are you warm there.?

1/19/2016 10:24:38 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


Oh yeah it's hot here

1/19/2016 10:49:46 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

viper1e
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,305)
Jeannette, PA
58, joined Dec. 2013


Quote from blurussian:
Is there something wrong with having sex? Why would you be holding out anyways if the chemistry is there between you?


BAV

Born Again Virgin.

1/19/2016 2:34:40 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from SadisticSienna:
As a 'generalization' it is addressed to and would possibly offend ALL that belong to the group that is being generalized.
If what I say offends you, it os because you are guilty.

1/19/2016 2:36:56 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


No it isn't. That's ridiculous. It's like...
you insult a group of people by addressing the whole group
then say
If what I say offends you, it os because you are guilty.

This is illogical lol.
You address the group, you shouldn't be surprised when people in the group get offended.



[Edited 1/19/2016 2:37:02 PM ]

1/19/2016 2:41:23 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from dan9787_3:
It doesn't matter, so many of your posts are grandly exaggerating the faults of women. You seem to be in need of therapy.
So, you cleary indicate that I am pointing out the faults of women, but rather than women acknowledge their bad behavior and accept responsibility for it, I should get therapy......



By your very words, we agree that I point out the faults of women.

Please, feel free to keep kissing their butts and licking their boots.......

1/19/2016 2:45:15 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


but rather than women acknowledge their bad behavior and accept responsibility for it

Like no one is going to do this. This is a they owe you kind of attitude, the world isn't a fair place people aren't going to just submit.

Plus kinda doesn't make sense logically for it to be true that everyone except yourself is the issue.
While some of you say may be correct a lot is overtly externalizing the problem.

1/19/2016 5:53:13 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

dan9787_3
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,172)
Laval, QC
52, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from enigmaathand:
So, you cleary indicate that I am pointing out the faults of women, but rather than women acknowledge their bad behavior and accept responsibility for it, I should get therapy......



By your very words, we agree that I point out the faults of women.

Please, feel free to keep kissing their butts and licking their boots.......


"grandly exaggerating"?

1/19/2016 7:24:10 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

jrbogie1949
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,836)
Red Bluff, CA
67, joined Mar. 2009


Quote from SadisticSienna:
Why or why not? Like could be holding hands, kissing or making out etc stuff like that I mean. Is it a good idea to avoid or turn it down until you feel you know them more OR would holding off on it make it awkward in the future?


if she doesn't at least talk dirty to me on the first date there'll be no second date.

1/19/2016 11:19:51 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
badpuditatt
Over 2,000 Posts (2,371)
Paris, VA
30, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from enigmaathand:
A generalization is defined as a broad statement or an idea that applies to a group of people or things. Oftentimes, generalizations are not entirely true, because there may be examples of individuals or situations wherein the generalization does not apply.

Meaning, that while it may not apply to ALL women, it is designed to offend the women that are guilty. By definition, a generalization MAY be true in some cases.

However, under no circumstances have I indicated ALL women.


^Nice back-peddling.

you specifically said 'they' in your statement that I implied you were referencing to "all" women in and, thus, by using "they" rather than using: most, some, one, few, several... etc. you were 'insinuating' as to "ALL" women...

I hope you're not expecting us to think/believe you so daft... that you don't totally understand exactly what you, yourself were implicating???

1/20/2016 12:18:51 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


What I say is how I what I say. How you choose to react to it, falls on you. It is also a reflection of your own personality.

1/22/2016 10:15:16 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


Enig

1/22/2016 10:16:32 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
Blendno27s
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,023)
Blackwood, NJ
90, joined Apr. 2015


sienna its melon time

1/22/2016 10:17:06 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
SadisticSienna
Over 1,000 Posts (1,078)
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Nov. 2015


You wish Jelly fish

1/22/2016 1:54:03 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
rightguyforu92
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,482)
Lisle, IL
38, joined Feb. 2015


Op i make my own decisions on these kinds of matters.If u were self secure/self confident u wud prob do the same.

1/23/2016 8:44:39 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

enigmaathand
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,965)
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from rightguyforu92:
Op i make my own decisions on these kinds of matters.If u were self secure/self confident u wud prob do the same.
His decision os whether he will be using Jergen's or Cocoa Butter

1/23/2016 11:11:53 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

ranconteur2012
Richmond, TX
56, joined Sep. 2012


Quote from theloser2123:
If the dumb b*tch ain't blowing me in the car on the way to Applebee's for the first date she's getting it stuffed in her a** in the Applebee's bathroom
a classic Neanderthal response even in jest,,,,

1/23/2016 11:18:03 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

ranconteur2012
Richmond, TX
56, joined Sep. 2012


Quote from grande_mamon:
I don't think Herpes cares if you do it on the first date or the 10th one
FYI twent five per cent of adults are positive for herpes....

1/23/2016 11:19:53 AM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

ranconteur2012
Richmond, TX
56, joined Sep. 2012


Quote from lucky_1million:
That seems like sort of a mean-spirited thing to do to another human being.

It's too bad that some men choose to act this way. [/quote Women too!!!

1/23/2016 11:49:13 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
stregaleonora
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,658)
Atlanta, GA
40, joined Jun. 2014


Depend by the guy...

However I rather to wait, no because it is wrong or because I have any problem at all...

...but just because I want to make sure that I am not kissing a douche...

I have an severe allergy to douches

1/24/2016 4:52:28 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

nurseshanna1972
Over 2,000 Posts (2,305)
San Marcos, TX
43, joined Oct. 2013


It all comes down to the chemistry between the two and the knowledge you have of your date. I as a general Rule have not gotten intimate with anyone until I have run a background check and feel comfortable being with them. Now I will admit( if any one else out there would) I have kissed a few times on first dates and gotten intimate once or twice , in my younger years.
But then I do not date anymore. Do Not need to .

1/24/2016 4:57:52 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (188,071)
Assumption, IL
67, joined May. 2010


Intimacy?

Holding hands okay... Peck on cheek maybe

1/24/2016 5:30:57 PM Is kissing/or any kind of intimacy a bad idea on first dates?  

dasnixter
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,252)
Jessieville, AR
58, joined Jul. 2010


Good or bad it is an idea

that only time will tell.


I prefer to flesh out feelings

w/eager lips and probing fingers.