| 2/8/2016 4:25:36 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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First...Of course anyone can play, but I'm really asking the older/mature people the question...
You're in a committed relationship for a very long time, and you BOTH know there's a "PHYSICAL" lull. You or your partner/spouse is going out of town to a Bachelor/Bachelorette party. YOU/YOUR PARTNER WOULD NEVER FIND OUT. Would you consider giving/taking a "free pass" for the 72 hours of that trip?
Remember... your partner or you will NEVER know nor question the other about it.
(I've seen a couple movies with this "free pass" concept, so I wonder)
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| 2/8/2016 4:30:30 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
54, joined May. 2011
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No. And nothing is free.
[Edited 2/8/2016 4:31:26 PM ]
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| 2/8/2016 4:36:11 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
|
My guess would be...
SOME guys would take a free pass, but none would give one to his woman. And SOME women would give a pass. And some, though very few women would take one.
Why do I think that... not that it's true, but I feel a lot of women think men are dogs, we can't help it, we're going to cheat anyway so... they'd give a pass.
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| 2/8/2016 4:54:49 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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soulflight
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014
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No. And nothing is free.
this.
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| 2/8/2016 5:04:52 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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sweetlime4u
Ocala, FL
52, joined Mar. 2014
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 Is hawk talking about? ..
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| 2/8/2016 5:14:36 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
57, joined May. 2009
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My guess would be...
SOME guys would take a free pass, but none would give one to his woman. And SOME women would give a pass. And some, though very few women would take one.
Why do I think that... not that it's true, but I feel a lot of women think men are dogs, we can't help it, we're going to cheat anyway so... they'd give a pass.
I think you make a very good point here. I think the same things.
I doubt very much I'd give a free pass. I don't think men are dogs and will cheat anyway, and believe that most of us do not need the governing presence of the person to whom we've committed in order to do the right thing.
So no free pass. If it happened and I found out about it (I know you said I never would) I'd need to discuss it and see a counselor in order to forgive and move forward. I would need to forgive and it probably would not be easy. If it were me who was using the free pass, I don't think I could live with the guilt I'd feel.
ETA: Oh, and forgiving does not always mean moving forward with him.
[Edited 2/8/2016 5:15:18 PM ]
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| 2/8/2016 6:10:11 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013
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Nope, won't do it
[Edited 2/8/2016 6:11:24 PM ]
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| 2/8/2016 6:13:41 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
51, joined Jul. 2013
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Don't all women think that way hawk that's your way of thinking
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| 2/8/2016 7:07:12 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
61, joined Apr. 2011
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Maybe, I'm missing something here, but if you/they give the free pass, then don't they now know?
Maybe I'm having a blond moment...
[Edited 2/8/2016 7:09:09 PM ]
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| 2/8/2016 7:15:30 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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soulflight
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014
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Excellent Bee...we all sorta missed that...
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| 2/8/2016 8:30:17 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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mustangwriter
Boerne, TX
55, joined Nov. 2009
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No.
I'm really a one woman kinda guy. I rather enjoy familiarity.
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| 2/8/2016 8:38:26 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
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She'd say it's her right to f**k like a barnyard animal in heat, but if he does it it's cheating and the relationship is over.
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| 2/8/2016 8:50:01 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
49, joined Jan. 2016
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A definite no
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| 2/8/2016 8:51:05 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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mustangwriter
Boerne, TX
55, joined Nov. 2009
|
First...Of course anyone can play, but I'm really asking the older/mature people the question...
You're in a committed relationship for a very long time, and you BOTH know there's a "PHYSICAL" lull. You or your partner/spouse is going out of town to a Bachelor/Bachelorette party. YOU/YOUR PARTNER WOULD NEVER FIND OUT. Would you consider giving/taking a "free pass" for the 72 hours of that trip?
Remember... your partner or you will NEVER know nor question the other about it.
(I've seen a couple movies with this "free pass" concept, so I wonder)
Oh lawd...ain't nobody gots time fo dat.
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| 2/8/2016 9:02:16 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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blurussian
Tarawa Terrace, NC
27, joined Dec. 2015
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No.
I'm really a one woman kinda guy. I rather enjoy familiarity.
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| 2/8/2016 9:04:08 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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flyfish77
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014
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no,i would know,and im a one man woman too.......whups, invert that..
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| 2/8/2016 10:30:01 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
49, joined Jun. 2013
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No. No. No.
Definitely not if I loved someone.
If I am in love with someone, my eyes and mind are all on him even when we are apart.
I couldn't even think about someone else.
On the other hand...
I don't mind if the man I am dating is friends with other women or enjoys non-sexual company with other women... I'm not that possessive or insecure. I'd give half of a free pass.
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| 2/8/2016 11:08:29 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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gdaddy47
Columbia, TN
68, joined Sep. 2009
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Nah, What's a free pass to have sex when one has a moral conscience. Nah. Not good at sharing or being shared. After you've been with someone a long time, sex isn't the end to all things.
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| 2/8/2016 11:56:28 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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mr_imperfect
Philadelphia, PA
54, joined Sep. 2011
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Never. Even if my partner would never find out I would know I broke her trust in me and I couldnt handle the guilt.
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| 2/9/2016 2:04:30 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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im2thexy
Belleville, ON
48, joined Dec. 2014
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Ummmmmmm no....im a one man woman......
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| 2/9/2016 2:58:03 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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cavie59
Enid, OK
57, joined Feb. 2010
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No I would not. I did not cheat when I deployed for six months or more and there was no way she would ever find out. So there is no way I would do that over a weekend.
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| 2/9/2016 6:02:09 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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cubcougar
Lucerne, CA
63, joined Oct. 2010
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Is hawk talking about? ..
He is a slut ... sex addict .. and wants some taco sauce on his swartzn**ger .. for his wife to lick off.
She wants it as well ...
hence ... the Bill and Billary show.
Just do not let the neighbor know ... what would they think.
sumbuddie wear blind sea
 
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| 2/9/2016 12:18:48 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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itybit
Garner, NC
52, joined Jan. 2009
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Ummmmmmm no....im a one man woman......
This
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| 2/9/2016 12:27:04 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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No. And nothing is free.
Ok with the "No" answer, but the rest... "nothing is free?"... that's just one of those nice cute little sayings that's cool to teach your kids... but it's not true. Throughout my life I've received a lot of things that were FREE...
Let's see...
I got a tires "free"... admission to amusement parks... free installation of a lot of products/services
... and I could go on.
"Nothing is free" is a good thing to teach youngins, but again, its not true. I think it's better to teach "If they claim it's free, be skeptical and look for a catch." Yeah, THAT'S a much better lesson.
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| 2/9/2016 12:38:02 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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No I would not. I did not cheat when I deployed for six months or more and there was no way she would ever find out. So there is no way I would do that over a weekend.
Good for you with morals and all that. 
But I admit, I'm a Marine (active 81-86) and not proud of it, but I hit quite a few squid wives back in the day while their hubby's were deployed. So whether they admit it or not, I know SOME people, including SOME women would under certain circumstances like/enjoy/take/give a pass.
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| 2/9/2016 12:55:09 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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cubcougar
Lucerne, CA
63, joined Oct. 2010
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Can always give Dennis Hastert a FREE PASS .. to have sex with the neighbors son ... not his own son of course.
Wifey not like that one bit .. still stay married any way.
She a real Billary ...
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| 2/9/2016 1:56:34 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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amusicluvr
Salem, OR
63, joined Nov. 2013
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OP - No. I live by a code. I break up with one person before staring up with another...even for a short time.
As for what you see in movies, I bet you read comic books, too. That doesn't mean that you should model your life on them.
I base my real life on my real values...not on those of some fictional moron, in a work of fiction, presented in some stupid movie, book, tv show, or such.
Get a life. Learn to live it.
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| 2/9/2016 2:11:40 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
54, joined May. 2011
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Ok with the "No" answer, but the rest... "nothing is free?"... that's just one of those nice cute little sayings that's cool to teach your kids... but it's not true. Throughout my life I've received a lot of things that were FREE...
Let's see...
I got a tires "free"... admission to amusement parks... free installation of a lot of products/services
... and I could go on.
"Nothing is free" is a good thing to teach youngins, but again, its not true. I think it's better to teach "If they claim it's free, be skeptical and look for a catch." Yeah, THAT'S a much better lesson.
Free Tires? How much for mounting, balancing and valve stems?
How much did you spend on food and useless junk at the amusement park?
How much does it cost to treat an STD? How much does guilt cost?
Saying you got a free pass is like saying you got a free STD. 
Nothing's free. 
Teach you children that everything has a cost and to know what that cost
is so they can be good economists.
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| 2/9/2016 2:28:37 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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grneyesrme
Sacramento, CA
48, joined Aug. 2013
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Nope..... it goes against my morals. No matter the circumstance cheating is always wrong!
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| 2/9/2016 9:00:29 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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sillylaugher61
Murrysville, PA
54, joined Aug. 2011
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NO. At my age, I am tired of playing games except board and card ones.
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| 2/9/2016 10:11:15 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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pickygirl72
Barrow, AK
45, joined Sep. 2011
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That's cheating. No pass for shit like that.
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| 2/10/2016 5:40:21 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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cavie59
Enid, OK
57, joined Feb. 2010
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Good for you with morals and all that.
But I admit, I'm a Marine (active 81-86) and not proud of it, but I hit quite a few squid wives back in the day while their hubby's were deployed. So whether they admit it or not, I know SOME people, including SOME women would under certain circumstances like/enjoy/take/give a pass.
I bet you were PROUD of your self at the time though.
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| 2/10/2016 5:46:37 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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flyfish77
Conyers, GA
51, joined Jul. 2014
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o sure a married woman,more than once,they came to me though,drrinkin at some club,where were there husbands,i didnt know or care, they musta had bad relations,one allways came to me,but not sure if they were married etc,she also died from cancer..tragic for sure. he would go to work,an id go to her etc. a blue eyed blonde of course..the 1980,s...we were dumb,an she was way horny.
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| 2/10/2016 7:19:58 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
49, joined Jun. 2013
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OP - No. I live by a code. I break up with one person before staring up with another...even for a short time.
That's the best way to do things.
If you are at a point where you want to explore options with someone else, it's better to just officially end things. If you don't love and respect the person you are with enough to be faithful to them, then obviously they are not the one for you... they are a temporary fix in your mind.
Also... if you are at a physical lull in your relationship... I think one of the best things to do is to take a vacation to somewhere warm in February.
Well... that works really well for those of us living up north. 
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| 2/10/2016 7:31:27 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Jan. 2016
online now!
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No I can't lie to partners. Just can't do it. I consider that a good quality though.
If he wanted to have sex with others, then there is issues in the relationship. Incompatibilities sexually or otherwise.
It's like scratching scabs from an infection, temporarily relieves but isn't fixing the issue. Better off not scratching and just fixing the problem.
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| 2/10/2016 11:58:24 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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Le_Rouge
Montreal, QC
34, joined Jan. 2016
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Still, I would know even if he didn't know. And it would weigh on my mind. And I'd probably end up stabbing him from the feelings of guilt/ remorse/etc.....So, my answer is no.
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| 2/10/2016 12:09:29 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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soulflight
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014
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Maybe, I'm missing something here, but if you/they give the free pass, then don't they now know?
Maybe I'm having a blond moment...
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| 2/10/2016 12:32:52 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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I bet you were PROUD of your self at the time though.
Proud of myself?... not at all. Pride had nothing to do with it. A young guy out in the world living his life. Met women, the desire to f**k was mutual, so we did it. No "pride" anywhere in the mix.
I imagine I'd be proud if I showed a lot of "skill" pulling those women. BUT there's no "skill" needed when you're stationed close to navy housing just full of horny squid wives.
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| 2/12/2016 6:47:19 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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The OP messed this up, as Bee pointed out, by mixing "getting a free pass" (as in your significant other giving you direct permission to screw around), with straight up cheating.
But either way, no I would not.
With the so-called "free pass," comes a certainty that the person who you thought was dedicated to a one on one relationship with you, making it clear that they think diddling other people is okay. Chances are, that would mean that they were already doing it. Or, that they just don't love you as much as you thought they did.
With cheating, comes the end of your personal honor. Whether you get away with it or not, you know that you're a lying scumbag pig of a human being, and sooner or later, that lie will overflow into the rest of your life.
Every cheater I've ever known, was like a classic drug addict, who once they did one drug, felt fine about doing every other one, until they finally destroyed their life.
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| 2/12/2016 8:00:58 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013
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Yes, I'd consider it.
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| 2/12/2016 10:12:10 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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That's cheating. No pass for shit like that.
Is it REALLY "cheating" if your partner gives you PERMISSION?
CHEATING is going AGAINST the rules. But a pass would be CHANGING the rules... but only for a few days or however long decided.
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| 2/12/2016 10:34:15 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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The OP messed this up, as Bee pointed out, by mixing "getting a free pass" (as in your significant other giving you direct permission to screw around), with straight up cheating.
But either way, no I would not.
With the so-called "free pass," comes a certainty that the person who you thought was dedicated to a one on one relationship with you, making it clear that they think diddling other people is okay. Chances are, that would mean that they were already doing it. Or, that they just don't love you as much as you thought they did.
With cheating, comes the end of your personal honor. Whether you get away with it or not, you know that you're a lying scumbag pig of a human being, and sooner or later, that lie will overflow into the rest of your life.
Every cheater I've ever known, was like a classic drug addict, who once they did one drug, felt fine about doing every other one, until they finally destroyed their life.
I didn't mess it up. This is a hypothetical. Though inspired by a few movies I've seen, I've heard of a couple real-life comparisons. Couples going on separate vacations and agreeing not to talk about what they did... or didn't do. Ever heard the saying "What happens in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas?"
Honestly, over the years I've heard TONS of people men and woman b*tch and complain about repetition and boredom of sex with the same person year after year after year. What if a pass is THEIR way of coping?
And you speak of the end of personal honor? ... to you as I put it to another poster... Cheating is going behind your partners back and breaking the rules. Is it cheating if your partner CHANGES THE RULES and for a limited time says it's OK? I DON'T THINK SO.
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| 2/12/2016 4:27:24 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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I didn't mess it up. This is a hypothetical. Though inspired by a few movies I've seen, I've heard of a couple real-life comparisons. Couples going on separate vacations and agreeing not to talk about what they did... or didn't do. Ever heard the saying "What happens in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas?"
Honestly, over the years I've heard TONS of people men and woman b*tch and complain about repetition and boredom of sex with the same person year after year after year. What if a pass is THEIR way of coping?
And you speak of the end of personal honor? ... to you as I put it to another poster... Cheating is going behind your partners back and breaking the rules. Is it cheating if your partner CHANGES THE RULES and for a limited time says it's OK? I DON'T THINK SO.
Here's your opening post, where you suggest straight up cheating:
You or your partner/spouse is going out of town to a Bachelor/Bachelorette party. YOU/YOUR PARTNER WOULD NEVER FIND OUT. Would you consider giving/taking a "free pass" for the 72 hours of that trip?
So yes, you messed up. Or, if you still don't think that statement means straight up cheating, then THAT means you messed up, because almost everyone else thinks you DID say straight up cheating.
Anyway.
If your partner actually does tell you it's okay for you to go have sex with someone else, with or without requiring you to tell them about it, then no, that is not cheating. So if we correct your original presentation of this, and also ignore how you compounded that mess, by quoting "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," which is ALSO referring to straight up cheating, then we can talk just about screwing around with permission.
No, I still wouldn't do it, for the reasons I stated. And if my partner suggested it to me, I would consider that a serious warning signal that the relationship was in serious trouble.
This does not mean that I make negative judgements about how other people want to live. If I had a friend or neighbor who had a so-called "open marriage," I wouldn't care. I also would not participate in their situation, even if I didn't have a partner of my own. Just the way I am, I want nothing to do with such things.
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| 2/12/2016 4:29:57 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013
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Test seems to be giving this a lot of consideration.
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| 2/12/2016 7:36:45 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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Test seems to be giving this a lot of consideration.
Unfortunately for me, I have had to, over the years. So I know myself well.
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| 2/13/2016 9:05:50 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013
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People do change their minds and what may have been once given as "free" might come back to bite you in the ass.
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| 2/13/2016 9:45:41 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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Yes, and it is also common that people will say things they wish they believed, and then discover in the event, that they do not.
The real question I would have, with anyone giving such permission, is why they do so.
In my experience so far, the times (outside of Hollywood) where they have, the reasons why they did, were never positive.
But again, I have known people who simply didn't care about sexual loyalty at all.
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| 2/13/2016 11:43:17 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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up2youandme
Chandler, AZ
41, joined Jan. 2014
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Well the concept of "free pass" denotes random interludes in which case I would not. But I did accept the offer from my ex to use her best friend whenever I needed to satisfy my urges. Her reasoning being out of the country and knowing my sexual drive would rather come to terms with me doing someone she knows to be clean and not just a random wh*re.
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| 2/13/2016 12:41:10 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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Well the concept of "free pass" denotes random interludes in which case I would not. But I did accept the offer from my ex to use her best friend whenever I needed to satisfy my urges. Her reasoning being out of the country and knowing my sexual drive would rather come to terms with me doing someone she knows to be clean and not just a random wh*re.
Yeah, that's a great example. I have no criticism over you and your...ex, did you say? ...going with that. But I'm the kind of egotist, who takes issue with my mate declaring that she thinks I'm at the mercy of my "urges." The lack of respect involved, would undermine any belief I had that she was with me for the right reasons.
But that kind of psychology is my own curse. No doubt part of why I'm alone right now.
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| 2/22/2016 11:31:37 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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woman1025
Phoenix, AZ
47, joined Aug. 2014
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Hellnawl
Read my profile
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| 2/22/2016 4:49:38 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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nyythawk
Denver, CO
53, joined Nov. 2010
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Hellnawl
Read my profile
Don't wana read your profile. And what does your profile have to do with if you'd accept/give a free pass or not?
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| 2/22/2016 4:54:24 PM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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yz27500
Henderson, NC
53, joined Nov. 2014
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A definite no
Same
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| 2/23/2016 2:27:02 AM |
Would you ever consider giving/accepting a "free pass?"? |
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cavie59
Enid, OK
57, joined Feb. 2010
|
First...Of course anyone can play, but I'm really asking the older/mature people the question...
You're in a committed relationship for a very long time, and you BOTH know there's a "PHYSICAL" lull. You or your partner/spouse is going out of town to a Bachelor/Bachelorette party. YOU/YOUR PARTNER WOULD NEVER FIND OUT. Would you consider giving/taking a "free pass" for the 72 hours of that trip?
Remember... your partner or you will NEVER know nor question the other about it.
(I've seen a couple movies with this "free pass" concept, so I wonder)
If you are married or in a committed relationship with a woman, you do not have to give her a free pass, SHE will take it the first chance she gets. This really holds true if you are a service member that deploys.
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