Does sex ruin friendships?

5/27/2016 12:30:14 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	turning to block out mamon while considering See's point. Hmmm... so what you're saying See...is that you require something "bigger" than a finger, right? ok, close your eyes...let's just move that skirt to the side now...hang on...ready? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
5/27/2016 1:47:11 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
Amuseme73 BadraoMilan Italy 43, joined Mar. 2016	I suppose it depends. People are different but for me it does ruin the friendship. It happened once and I said never again. It's the opposite with me ex's though. I have build a great friendship with them, except one. In fact, my very best friend which I consider part of my family is my ex and in my view I've gained more.
5/28/2016 4:03:31 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	lol you guys
5/28/2016 3:52:40 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
northfloridavix Ocala, FL 39, joined Apr. 2016	It does ruin friendships imo....you can't go back to being just friends. Seems like it never works
5/28/2016 4:16:12 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
soulflight Baltimore, MD 54, joined Apr. 2014	I don't think sex "ruins" friendship but it is very good at bringing imbalance to the surface and shinning a big light on it. There is rarely any coming back from that. You can't keep acting like "just a friend" after that kind of intimacy if one of you is hiding their true feelings. Sometimes there really aren't any other feelings before the sex but in our culture, women are still greatly influenced by judgement and many a woman has convinced herself it's love (after the fact) to avoid shame and embarrassment...not intentionally mind you, but it happens all the same. If that happens, you can kiss that friendship bye bye. Men have been known to do it but it's much less common. Humans are rather unique mammals...we can and do have sex for fun, with no intent on procreation. Unfortunately, woman have always been held to different standards regarding recreational sex so it's easier for them to fall prey to judging themselves and deny their own sexuality. The irony of it is that men created that dynamic and still b*tch about the result. The only way to fix that is for women to own their sexuality and ignore the rhetoric.
5/28/2016 5:31:20 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
the_israelite Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro Brazil 35, joined Apr. 2016	I would recommend that a person not have sex with someone who they do not see relationship potential with to begin with, but what do I know?
5/28/2016 6:05:10 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Seems like a good idea. But it probably doesn't matter to people who don't want a relationship.
5/28/2016 6:37:57 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from northfloridavix: It does ruin friendships imo....you can't go back to being just friends. Seems like it never works I cant agree with that because I am still friends with a woman I had sex with . Only thing that has change is that she is in relationship with another guy and I dont go around her because of that other wise I would still come over to her place more often and hang out .
5/30/2016 6:58:10 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	thankssss
5/30/2016 8:22:45 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
mr_hexy Andreas, PA 39, joined Feb. 2013	Quote from joe4u2explore: Um, not sure, See. We were clearly into each other and even though we were good friends, we kept finding excuses to be around each other more than necessary. And we discussed it a couple times. I had a few friends and so did she that were all originally friends (they all knew each other from the same town, I was new to them all). So there were like 5 girls and 4-5 guys and we all hung out. But her and I clicked. I um "played" pretty hard with the coeds back then and my "friend" use to make little comments like "she's kinda slutty" or "oh, nice skirt" whenever I brought them around. So one night I asked her "Hey, if you don't like me with them, why don't you take their place?" Well, we fought it but finally succumbed to it. It was really good sex because it had built up so long but afterward, it was weird hanging in the group and even weird trying to just act like I wasn't "inside" her recently. Then the school year ended and that was that. I didn't want a relationship then so that was the end. We tried to stay in touch and I think about her from time to time and only want the best for her. boring story..but that's it. so its this part here that people aren't mature at. skilled at. Why is it weird? What is weird about it? If you chose not to have a relationship then it insulted the friendship. Like going on a road trip from South Carolina to California and then ditching her at a rest stop in Arkansas. I'm not saying that to browbeat your decision but its not the sex ruining the relationship, two types of relationships gotta be maintained. It sounds like you like having the group feeling and don't want to act like a boyfriend in the group. Were there other females in the group you wanted to get with or are you generally one of the more assertive males in that group? In this situation , have to consider that the group environment is a comfort zone of a platonic harem/concubine and not necessarily because you have friends among. Its it really friends or long term drinking buddies? Theres definitely a difference. Sometimes drinking buddies can be cooler than friends from career or from home but as often of convenience or coincidental people that share their pet peeve opinions.
5/30/2016 9:33:08 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Why is it weird? What is weird about it? You were supposed to answer that not ask me questions I obviously don't know the answer to lol
5/30/2016 12:52:05 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	where is my fav boys mamon and joe?!
5/30/2016 2:06:34 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
enamel Warrenville, IL 59, joined Sep. 2012	A really tight, long standing friendship would probably survive a one off encounter, where extreme circumstances brought the couple together for that one occasion. IF they began having sex regularly then they've moved to a different sort of relationship. I would say most ex's cannot stay in a close friendship. I have a long time friend with whom I attend couples occasions within our social group. We joke about the fact that almost everyone thinks we sleep together. There have been a few occasions where one or the other suggested pushing past our boundaries. Alcohol judgement! But we both know our differences on matters like religion and politics are significant enough to preclude a closer relationship than we already have.
5/31/2016 1:36:12 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Thank you. Yeah I dont know. I have many worrys and stuff on this topic. One is I want something REAL where they actually genuinely love me and not in a selfish way. People tend to be selfish and self servibg and its just sad. Iv risked my life to save those I care about that are in danger when I was facing the same danger myself. No one saves me but they would ask that of me
5/31/2016 8:00:06 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
thebigugly0 Kent, OH 45, joined Sep. 2012	If sex is involved, they're no longer just friends.
5/31/2016 10:47:41 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
zekes_slave Manchester, NH 34, joined May. 2015	Absolutely. Dont sleep with anyone youd actually care to lose tomorrow.
6/1/2016 3:27:32 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
cavie59 Enid, OK 57, joined Feb. 2010	"Does sex ruin friendships?" I have no idea, I would have to have a friend that was a woman to find that out.
6/1/2016 4:10:05 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	F_ck I walked into the door and nearly broke my thumb nail in half. AH
6/1/2016 12:32:16 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
Amuseme73 BadraoMilan Italy 43, joined Mar. 2016	Quote from zekes_slave: Absolutely. Dont sleep with anyone youd actually care to lose tomorrow. Well said. Not even the best sex is worth it.
6/2/2016 11:04:10 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016
6/2/2016 11:23:21 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
thekinghasrisen San Diego, CA 31, joined Nov. 2013	Quote from zekes_slave: Absolutely. Dont sleep with anyone youd actually care to lose tomorrow. I'm not sure I follow. So having someone who has invested their time and emotional capital in you; probably been a shoulder to lean on more than once, and certainly proven themselves more reliable than the rabble is LESS likely to end up in a sexual relationship with you? Why would any man put themselves through that than?
6/2/2016 11:28:07 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	they may be doing it just to get sex in which case you shouldn't go give them sex [Edited 6/2/2016 11:28:31 AM ]
6/2/2016 11:33:00 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
thekinghasrisen San Diego, CA 31, joined Nov. 2013	Quote from sadlsticsienna: they may be doing it just to get sex in which case you shouldn't go give them sex Given that sex is apparently a lot cheaper than that, I can't imagine why any man would pay such a price for it. Yet and still - is that superior than someone who hasn't invested anything, just walking up to you and expecting it? Because if I'm reading into this right - that's the person most likely succeed. If a man is actually willing to go through the long and learned process of developing a 'relationship' with a woman, I don't see how that makes them LESS qualified for sex than some cheap tool who just happens along. On another note - what is this 'give them sex' business? It's not a dog treat after all. Unless he's just a putz in bed, me thinks you'd be giving it to each other right? [Edited 6/2/2016 11:35:42 AM ]
6/2/2016 11:38:21 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	They have to love me and not in a selfish way and not do anything dodgy which would make me question that
6/2/2016 11:41:22 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
thekinghasrisen San Diego, CA 31, joined Nov. 2013	Quote from sadlsticsienna: They have to love me and not in a selfish way and not do anything dodgy which would make me question that If a woman is loving her man right and taking care of business, that frees the man up to be selfless and gives them a reason to come home at night. All too often, women (younger and American if we're being specific) expect that sort of dedication as a prerequisite for the man to receive the same in return. Very few men who aren't interested in just sex will accept such a raw deal - at least not for long.
6/2/2016 11:43:15 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Most people are selfish, I don't expect much else. Takes a long while and even then I'm not sure because people can be convincing liars. [Edited 6/2/2016 11:43:29 AM ]
6/2/2016 11:48:14 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
thekinghasrisen San Diego, CA 31, joined Nov. 2013	Quote from sadlsticsienna: Most people are selfish, I don't expect much else. Takes a long while and even then I'm not sure because people can be convincing liars. Being punished by the opposite sex for the 'truth' does tend to have that effect on guys, yes.
6/2/2016 11:49:26 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	That's why I don't trust them and if I do I'm not stupid enough to have sex and crap with them.
6/4/2016 8:56:14 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from zekes_slave: Absolutely. Dont sleep with anyone youd actually care to lose tomorrow. Quote from thekinghasrisen: I'm not sure I follow. So having someone who has invested their time and emotional capital in you; probably been a shoulder to lean on more than once, and certainly proven themselves more reliable than the rabble is LESS likely to end up in a sexual relationship with you? Why would any man put themselves through that than? And besides what kind person is that when they claim they actually care about that person but rather see them hurt by someone else ?
6/5/2016 4:41:00 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
hazeleyedgirl12 Roseburg, OR 36, joined Oct. 2011	Yes and no.depends on the friend.
6/5/2016 7:41:37 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
the_israelite Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro Brazil 35, joined Apr. 2016	Why would a woman use a friend for sex?
6/5/2016 8:04:53 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
dances_in_woods Henderson, TX 49, joined Mar. 2011	In my eyes, if you go below the equator with someone...you're a lot more then just a 'friend'
6/5/2016 8:52:23 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
soflwill Richmond, VA 56, joined Jan. 2012	If women really believe that sex ruins a friendship why do they always want to be friends first? Entering into a romantic relationship with someone ends friendships because people don't care if their friends decided to screw someone else but that changes when you become more than friends.
6/5/2016 9:38:26 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
soulflight Baltimore, MD 54, joined Apr. 2014	Quote from soflwill: If women really believe that sex ruins a friendship why do they always want to be friends first? Entering into a romantic relationship with someone ends friendships because people don't care if their friends decided to screw someone else but that changes when you become more than friends. Nice...
6/6/2016 4:06:32 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	Start viewing sex as natural and stop using it as a tool to punish or reward (outside of role playing, of course) and it all becomes cleaner. If your friend wanted a cheeseburger and you didn't, you would say "No thanks. I am just going to have chicken" and then you would forget it. But if the same thing happens when it's sex and not food, it becomes a big deal. It is perfectly ok to want or NOT want sex. Just like any other want. It's you're perspective that changes it.
6/6/2016 4:48:40 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
soulflight Baltimore, MD 54, joined Apr. 2014	^^^ truth Joe
6/6/2016 4:54:07 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
doublethree Germantown, TN 39, joined Oct. 2013	People who say it doesn't are either lying or are sociopaths.
6/7/2016 6:12:00 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Kinda makes sense I could be like nah not tonight Im a vegetarian . Well in truth I tried to be vegetarian but the food was soo bad and a lot of the meals I could buy had more fat than the meals with meat so I was like Fk that. Oh I had this freaky lucid dream lastnight lol I woke up and must of slipped back into Rem and had a dream someone was trying to break into my window D: then I opened my eyes and was like thinking it was real lol. Yeah I don't have much else to talk about since I just slept 16 hours
6/7/2016 8:03:47 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
lucky_1million Pewaukee, WI 49, joined Jun. 2013	Quote from joe4u2explore: Start viewing sex as natural and stop using it as a tool to punish or reward (outside of role playing, of course) and it all becomes cleaner. If your friend wanted a cheeseburger and you didn't, you would say "No thanks. IDK... having casual sex with someone is sort of like ordering a cheeseburger and getting only the melted cheese. You're missing the relationship (the bun) that holds everything together and you're missing the friendship and companion and love (the meat) that tastes so good. Sure. Cheese is really tasty... but if you want a cheeseburger and all you are given is cheese, you are left feeling that something is missing. I never view sex as a tool to punish or reward. I just know what I prefer. I prefer the whole cheeseburger not part of one. And...I'd rather have the friendship, companionship and love that tastes good over just a slice of cheese. But I suppose with the right friend, a slice of cheese on top might taste even better.
6/7/2016 9:39:39 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	I dont want a relationship or sex I suppose I just want casual friends lmao
6/8/2016 10:30:02 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from lucky_1million: IDK... having casual sex with someone is sort of like ordering a cheeseburger and getting only the melted cheese. You're missing the relationship (the bun) that holds everything together and you're missing the friendship and companion and love (the meat) that tastes so good. Sure. Cheese is really tasty... but if you want a cheeseburger and all you are given is cheese, you are left feeling that something is missing. I never view sex as a tool to punish or reward. I just know what I prefer. I prefer the whole cheeseburger not part of one. And...I'd rather have the friendship, companionship and love that tastes good over just a slice of cheese. But I suppose with the right friend, a slice of cheese on top might taste even better. Hi Lucky, I disagree, respectfully. That is your perception of sex, as you prefer it. But sex is what it is. What you're referencing is in your opinion. "quality sex". This is qualifying the act. I'm not saying your point is incorrect in regard to how you personally enjoy sex, but it isn't relevant to my post. I appreciate your stance. However, you actually validated my point with your own. As I stated, it is a matter of perspective. It's about weighting the value of sex versus other assets in the relationship.
6/8/2016 2:00:34 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Im still thinking about those cheese burgers
6/8/2016 3:13:33 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	Hey, See! Wanna ruin our friendship?
6/8/2016 3:48:59 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016
6/8/2016 3:51:01 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
the_israelite Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro Brazil 35, joined Apr. 2016	Would a woman lose respect for a male friend she ended up having sex with?
6/8/2016 3:59:33 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
soulflight Baltimore, MD 54, joined Apr. 2014	I'm sure there are women who would, just like there are men who would. Personally, I find that concept irrational...since they are saying they don't respect themselves either. People, if you want to have sex..do. If you don't want to have sex..don't.
6/8/2016 4:05:02 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	No wouldn't lose respect from having sex. May lose interest though if he was really bad or inadequate lol idk jS
6/8/2016 4:16:57 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from soulflight: I'm sure there are women who would, just like there are men who would. Personally, I find that concept irrational...since they are saying they don't respect themselves either. People, if you want to have sex..do. If you don't want to have sex..don't. I was saying the same thing, soul. All of this seems so obvious, at least to you and I and maybe a couple others. I just don't understand that Izzy guy. I swear I'm not even trying to be mean when I say this. I just don't get the incessant "dealing from a position of weakness" rhetoric he spews forth. I use to think it was a ploy to generate sympathy and feed upon women seeking a "sensitive" man. But I think it's gone past that. Jesus, dude. Learn about self respect. None of that stuff matters if you have your life under control. TRUST ME ON THIS. You WILL get women if you exhibit confidence and act in a manner befitting one worthy of a mate. Stop whining...please stop.
6/8/2016 4:18:29 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
grande_mamon Houston, TX 49, joined Sep. 2014	If you lose respect for someone by having sex with them then you have a warped view of what respect and sex are...and as you engaged in the activity yourself...logically you have no respect for yourself. [Edited 6/8/2016 4:18:47 PM ]
6/8/2016 4:24:38 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from sadlsticsienna: No wouldn't lose respect from having sex. May lose interest though if he was really bad or inadequate lol idk jS Sex is never bad if one person is good at it and the other is willing participant.
6/8/2016 4:30:45 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
the_israelite Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro Brazil 35, joined Apr. 2016	Quote from joe4u2explore: ... You WILL get women if you exhibit confidence and act in a manner befitting one worthy of a mate. Stop whining...please stop. It seems that a lot of women that I try to be with in life act really funny with me as if they don't like me or aren't attracted to me.
6/8/2016 4:36:22 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	maybe they aren't then if they act like that?
6/8/2016 4:46:20 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from the_israelite: It seems that a lot of women that I try to be with in life act really funny with me as if they don't like me or aren't attracted to me. Have you tried to evaluate yourself honestly? To look inward and think about the image you project? The dance with women is all about a balance between exhibiting strength (this in the form of confidence not bravado) which they covet and showing respect (without pandering to them for this lowers their respect in you). It really comes from creating within yourself a decisive persona that is confident, caring but firm when needed. Your partner needs to understand she can depend on you to be someone she can not only lean on but also to trust, whether that means with her heart when she needs you quiet and just listening or when that day comes where the burglar crawls in the window and you make damn sure he doesn't crawl back out. You know?
6/8/2016 4:53:06 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
the_israelite Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro Brazil 35, joined Apr. 2016	Quote from sadlsticsienna: maybe they aren't then if they act like that? The the question might become, what would be so wrong with me that I can't find mutual attraction? Quote from joe4u2explore: Have you tried to evaluate yourself honestly? To look inward and think about the image you project? The dance with women is all about a balance between exhibiting strength (this in the form of confidence not bravado) which they covet and showing respect (without pandering to them for this lowers their respect in you). It really comes from creating within yourself a decisive persona that is confident, caring but firm when needed. Your partner needs to understand she can depend on you to be someone she can not only lean on but also to trust, whether that means with her heart when she needs you quiet and just listening or when that day comes where the burglar crawls in the window and you make damn sure he doesn't crawl back out. You know? That sounds like a lot of work. I really want to just be myself and find someone who likes that and who I also like in return. Who knows, perhaps in some way I don't exude enough confidence or strength in my persona.
6/8/2016 4:53:46 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from the_israelite: It seems that a lot of women that I try to be with in life act really funny with me as if they don't like me or aren't attracted to me. I don't know what Joe talking about but if you had twin guy or guy that looks just like you and act just like you but he is millionaire he wouldn't have to go thru all that to be with a woman .
6/8/2016 4:55:37 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	or that
6/8/2016 4:57:17 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	Quote from the_israelite: That sounds like a lot of work. I really want to just be myself and find someone who likes that and who I also like in return. Who knows, perhaps in some way I don't exude enough confidence or strength in my persona. By all means, be yourself. But you seemed to be inquiring and I was reacting to mostly how you come across in here. Obviously, this medium is poor for truly understanding anyone well.
6/8/2016 4:59:35 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	I don't know you seem ok on here or atleast if you pissed me off I can't remember why
6/8/2016 5:00:57 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
joe4u2explore Lombard, IL 50, joined Aug. 2013	There you go, Izzy! See likes you! Now just go get that cool million Digital was talking about and have at it!
6/8/2016 5:02:33 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	lol

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