Does sex ruin friendships?

5/14/2016 10:25:20 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	why do guys who like you don't care about the fact that it may ruin the friendship they're all like Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
5/14/2016 10:30:47 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	People are not mature as they claim to be . Sex shouldnt be able stop it a friendship.
5/14/2016 10:41:23 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Like wouldn't it make a friendship weird, kinda can't reverse or go back from it once you're done it lol
5/14/2016 10:45:46 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
xray6 Jacksonville, FL 28, joined Mar. 2012	only ruins it if you put sex on a pedestal otherwise you won't miss a Beat.
5/14/2016 10:47:01 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
ivaiva Goleta, CA 48, joined Oct. 2007	Yes. One of my do-not-break rules: "Never ruin a good friendship with sex." Sex is so easy to find, friendship (with men and women) is seldom and precious.
5/14/2016 10:49:28 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Yeah true so it's best to avoid sex with friends at all costs? what if they are an ex that has become a friend? lol Suppose you guys see that as weird Of course this is hypothetical since Im dating someone. But talking about the past.. [Edited 5/14/2016 10:49:46 AM ]
5/14/2016 10:57:24 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
xray6 Jacksonville, FL 28, joined Mar. 2012	lol the oxymoron of women I want my significant other to be my friend first. I don't want to have sex with friends
5/14/2016 11:00:41 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	I want my significant other to be my friend first. I don't want to have sex with friends yeah its friggen difficult like want to be good friends first but then it's like hmm shouldn't have sex when you're friends but then it's like you like them so much but then you think they might just want sex or something idk lol, depends on the guy. But it's like multiple values that kinda clash with each others vs desires which also clashes and all that obviously clashes with the mind and paranoid thoughts [Edited 5/14/2016 11:01:19 AM ]
5/14/2016 11:03:55 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
ivaiva Goleta, CA 48, joined Oct. 2007	In my classification a significant other is not a friend, neither is a friend with benefits, it is a separate category.
5/14/2016 12:03:44 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
lucky_1million Pewaukee, WI 49, joined Jun. 2013	You would think that sex would enhance some friendships(i.e. FWB)and transform other friendships into a relationship depending on your level of love and commitment to the person you are calling "friend". The only problem I have is that my expectations are much higher for a relationship. I'm very easy-going with my friends. IF someone isn't handling the friendship all that well, why would he be able to handle a relationship better? Also... I sort of have to be in love with someone before I consider sex. Otherwise I'm like everyone else who says that IF the sex suks then "seeya". That would be awkward. So, I wouldn't risk having sex with a friend I did not love.
5/14/2016 12:04:03 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
lamoneonly San Diego, CA 19, joined Mar. 2015	How many people do you know that this happened to? I think this may be one of those things that are so prevalent in "realistic fantasy media" that people except it as fact. I've had sex with a girl who was my friend before and everything was fine after that. Just act the same the day after as you did the day before. I've seen like 5 relationships ruin friendships but that took a few years.
5/14/2016 1:40:41 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
viper1e Jeannette, PA 58, joined Dec. 2013	Quote from sadlsticsienna: Like wouldn't it make a friendship weird, kinda can't reverse or go back from it once you're done it lol Do you fk all your enemies? Or just the ones you REALLY hate? Oh.. wait.. you don't fk at all.
5/14/2016 2:00:46 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
barrydalmi Baltimore, MD 53, joined Dec. 2007	It certainly can, it depends on the circumstances and the maturity of the people involved. For example two teens and a drunken date rape is not likely to end well (chose an extreme on purpose to make a point-NOT advocating date rape-you idiots) On the other hand, two mentally, emotionally, sexually mature individuals-who try a romantic relationship during the course of their friendship and for whatever reason that aspect doesn't work out-usually, keep some kind of connection intact. Over simplified for DH.
5/14/2016 2:27:48 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Quote from xray6: lol the oxymoron of women I want my significant other to be my friend first. I don't want to have sex with friends Don't want to (& won't) have sex with someone who's JUST a friend. DO want a partner who is my friend.
5/14/2016 3:00:07 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
amusicluvr Salem, OR 63, joined Nov. 2013	Sex does not ruin true friendships, which are based upon mutual respect for, and mutual liking of, each other. If you have more than just simple lust in common, the friendship can be improved by good, satisfying, sex. When sex ruins friendships, it is usually because either: 1. the sex was not as satisfying as one, or both, parties had fantasized it would be, and the shattered fantasy spoils everything. OR 2. There never was any real friendship at all. There was just someone faking a friendship in the hopes of taking it to the next stage, and getting the sex which was the only real object from the start. Having gotten the sex, and won the victory, the pretender sees no reason to go on pretending, as he (usually), or she (in some cases), moves on to the next contest in hopes of conquering a new opponent...like a football team going on to another championship. Such types do not like to re-play losers. The one who gave up the sex, after some resistance, is the loser. The victor goes on to other games with other players.
5/14/2016 7:16:24 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from celyn67: DO want a partner who is my friend. And what is a partner consist of ?
5/14/2016 7:44:35 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
testsignup Springfield, VA 63, joined Sep. 2009	I don't think I've ever had sex ruin a friendship. Not because I've always been all that rational or mature or anything. More that I've never had the urge to have sex with someone who was a long time friend, plus the times where I've had sex, and things didn't work out, either she and I went separate ways through life and so had no chance to build a serious friendship either, or we simply adjusted and though self-discipline, went for friendship. Just chance, really. Some people apparently can have sex with someone without caring one way or another whether they lived or died, and even felt nothing when the other person spent the next week with their roommate. So if you are the kind for whom sex is an entirely meaningless thing, similar to getting high or drunk for fun, then chances are you can do what you like. But in an overall, general way, it's a good idea NOT to have casual sex, if you do really want or need the other person to remain just a friend. This is mainly because most people really can't predict whether they will suddenly form an attachment after sex or not. They aren't willfully duplicitous, they just get blindsided by their own emotions. Hence the common, GENERAL recommendation.
5/14/2016 8:04:33 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Quote from digital_knight: And what is a partner consist of ? I'm talking of a significant other, not someone who is just a friend. But my SO should be my friend too. But he's so much more than a friend only.
5/14/2016 8:19:15 PM	Does sex ruin friendships?
flyfish77 Conyers, GA 51, joined Jul. 2014	so what do i do,what do i say..to turn your angel eyes my way,hi holly...im your far off internet friend which is maybe worthless at this moment in time,i need to hear a voice..i mean really..a friendly conversation........eventually.
5/15/2016 2:11:46 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
cavie59 Enid, OK 57, joined Feb. 2010	Quote from sadlsticsienna: why do guys who like you don't care about the fact that it may ruin the friendship Maybe, just maybe, they want more than friendship. They might want a relationship.
5/15/2016 3:13:48 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Do you fk all your enemies? Or just the ones you REALLY hate? Oh.. wait.. you don't fk at all. What has this got to do with my enemies? lol
5/15/2016 4:30:45 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from celyn67: I'm talking of a significant other, not someone who is just a friend. But my SO should be my friend too. But he's so much more than a friend only. What I don't understand is if you had said this once if he is a friend you would not want anything more from him just a friendship nothing more or less . So if yall start off as friends its seems you will never be more than that .
5/15/2016 4:58:37 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
ltlwing Winchester, OH 52, joined Oct. 2013	Quote from ivaiva: Yes. One of my do-not-break rules: "Never ruin a good friendship with sex." Sex is so easy to find, friendship (with men and women) is seldom and precious. Agree!!....never wanted to have sex with a male friend. If I already know that nothing will come of it?...Why ruin it with sex??....to all the people who say it takes a mature,emotional stable person to do it without consequences on both ends?...I say why not be level headed enough in leaving it alone in the first place.Why make possible trouble for yourself to begin with??? If it ain't broke??....leave it alone.
5/15/2016 5:04:49 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from ltlwing: If it ain't broke??....leave it alone. If the shoes fits wear it . If you are getting along as friends you should able to get along after sex as well .
5/15/2016 5:06:53 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
ltlwing Winchester, OH 52, joined Oct. 2013	Quote from digital_knight: If the shoes fits wear it . If you are getting along as friends you should able to get along after sex as well . If I don't want sex?? We should be able to get along as well.
5/15/2016 5:10:32 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from ltlwing: If I don't want sex?? We should be able to get along as well. Right but if you do want sex being friends shouldnt be an excuse not to want to have sex with your friend.
5/15/2016 5:18:59 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
Mercedes_02 AñatuyaAñatuya Australia 101, joined Dec. 2014	Sex is ruining all your brains.
5/15/2016 5:33:57 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from Mercedes_02: Sex is ruining all your brains. Maybe if you didnt show booty pics their brains would a have chance .
5/15/2016 5:35:29 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
Mercedes_02 AñatuyaAñatuya Australia 101, joined Dec. 2014
5/15/2016 6:00:52 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Right but if you do want sex being friends shouldnt be an excuse not to want to have sex with your friend. Not really because if you're not going to be with them then why have sex especially when it will weird the relationship up
5/15/2016 6:10:52 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from sadlsticsienna: Not really because if you're not going to be with them then why have sex especially when it will weird the relationship up Let me ask you this why wouldn't you ever want to be with a friend when you and that guy gets along at everything else ?
5/15/2016 6:15:38 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	>Might not be that attracted to him, like he isn't that good looking >He might not work or have any goals which if I'm with him would f*ck our future up >He might of done something I can't forgive him for >Might like him but not enough where I think it would be a good idea to be with him
5/15/2016 6:24:21 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
ltlwing Winchester, OH 52, joined Oct. 2013	Quote from digital_knight: Right but if you do want sex being friends shouldnt be an excuse not to want to have sex with your friend. I don't do friends with benefits. There have been a few men I wouldn't sleep with because we were friends. A man that respects me, and cherishes our friendship, would not push it anyway.
5/15/2016 6:31:55 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from sadlsticsienna: >Might not be that attracted to him, like he isn't that good looking >He might not work or have any goals which if I'm with him would f*ck our future up >He might of done something I can't forgive him for >Might like him but not enough where I think it would be a good idea to be with him If that's how you look and feel about a friend he isnt really a friend to you .
5/15/2016 6:37:39 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
idliketotalk Punxsutawney, PA 53, joined Oct. 2013	Sex has never ruined a friendship of mine.
5/15/2016 6:39:43 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	I always thought friends will be friends unconditionally meaning they will be together until one of them crosses that line . I am talking about lie steal ect . But once that happens you cut them off from your life .
5/15/2016 6:46:38 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	If I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that means I'm not attracted to them or don't want to be with them/committed to them for some reason. Can be out of one of those things I said, may be something else. If that's how you look and feel about a friend he isnt really a friend to you . If I don't want to either have sex with him or be in a full relationship with him just HOW does that mean "He isn't really a friend to you' this just sounds like butt-hurt BS you have come up with not something that makes logical sense.
5/15/2016 6:58:33 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Quote from digital_knight: What I don't understand is if you had said this once if he is a friend you would not want anything more from him just a friendship nothing more or less . So if yall start off as friends its seems you will never be more than that . What I mean is that I don't have sex with anyone who is ONLY a friend. DO you not have some who are JUST a friend? A friend only is just that to me. There is not sex between us & never would be. People feel differently about the ones who are only a friend & the one who is a significant other. I never said if I start off as being friends with a man that it can't become anything more. Things develop sometimes between two people. Read what I said. I said I don't sleep with a man who is ONLY A FRIEND. [Edited 5/15/2016 7:01:49 AM ]
5/15/2016 7:02:27 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from celyn67: People feel differently about the ones who are only a friend & the one who is a significant other. Yall have to start off as friends first before they become significant other right ?
5/15/2016 7:05:44 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
lightbrownie1 Johnston, IA 47, joined Feb. 2016	Sex with a friend is not good. I won't do it and never will...God willing.
5/15/2016 7:09:52 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from sadlsticsienna: If I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that means I'm not attracted to them or don't want to be with them/committed to them for some reason. Can be out of one of those things I said, may be something else. If that's how you look and feel about a friend he isnt really a friend to you . If I don't want to either have sex with him or be in a full relationship with him just HOW does that mean "He isn't really a friend to you' this just sounds like butt-hurt BS you have come up with not something that makes logical sense. I dont want to friends with someone that thinks they are better than me . Or looks down at me . That how all that bully bull shit starts.
5/15/2016 7:12:30 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	We all judge other people whether we like it or not. It doesn't mean I think I'm better than them just means I don't think they have a similar enough mindset as me to make it work. In terms of not being attracted to them or just not liking them that much, that doesn't mean I look down on them either.
5/15/2016 7:16:37 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from sadlsticsienna: We all judge other people whether we like it or not. It doesn't mean I think I'm better than them just means I don't think they have a similar enough mindset as me to make it work. In terms of not being attracted to them or just not liking them that much, that doesn't mean I look down on them either. >Might not be that attracted to him, like he isn't that good looking >He might not work or have any goals which if I'm with him would f*ck our future up >He might of done something I can't forgive him for >Might like him but not enough where I think it would be a good idea to be with him Let me tell you something that is looking down at somebody. We learned that watching Sesame street
5/15/2016 7:21:56 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from celyn67: What I mean is that I don't have sex with anyone who is ONLY a friend. DO you not have some who are JUST a friend? A friend only is just that to me. There is not sex between us & never would be. People feel differently about the ones who are only a friend & the one who is a significant other. I never said if I start off as being friends with a man that it can't become anything more. Things develop sometimes between two people. Read what I said. I said I don't sleep with a man who is ONLY A FRIEND. But how do you know or when will you decide it will become more than just a friend being that yall are already decided to be friends ?
5/15/2016 7:23:15 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Quote from digital_knight: Right but if you do want sex being friends shouldnt be an excuse not to want to have sex with your friend. Not everyone has sex with a friend. Some people are JUST A FRIEND (& that's it) to a person.
5/15/2016 7:25:25 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Most people know at the beginning who they might want to end up in a relationship with. Some I would know I may possibly want to end up in a relationship with & others I would know right away I would want nothing more than just being friends with him. It's not that complicated.
5/15/2016 7:25:51 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Let me tell you something that is looking down at somebody. We learned that watching Sesame street Annd? that's such BS. lol. Just because you don't like something about someone doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. Depends what it is. Could mean they aren't good relationship material though. Like if you want someone that earns a similar or better wage or you want someone that is smarter or dumber alternatively. Or more romantic and sexy. A few guys I wouldn't date because they weren't very romantic or good at wooing. I'm not going to go with someone from the get go who I know won't make me happy/satisfy me. [Edited 5/15/2016 7:27:38 AM ]
5/15/2016 7:30:04 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from celyn67: Most people know at the beginning who they might want to end up in a relationship with. Some I would know I may possibly want to end up in a relationship with & others I would know right away I would want nothing more than just being friends with him. It's not that complicated. This is where I am confused when say in the beginning now are you saying in the beginning of the friendship or right at the moment you first laid eyes on him ?
5/15/2016 7:31:44 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from sadlsticsienna: Annd? that's such BS. lol. Just because you don't like something about someone doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. Depends what it is. Could mean they aren't good relationship material though. Like if you want someone that earns a similar or better wage or you want someone that is smarter or dumber alternatively. Or more romantic and sexy. A few guys I wouldn't date because they weren't very romantic or good at wooing. I'm not going to go with someone from the get go who I know won't make me happy/satisfy me. It sounds like you love being friends with people you can talk down to. Look down at
5/15/2016 7:34:22 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Quote from digital_knight: This is where I am confused when say in the beginning now are you saying in the beginning of the friendship or right at the moment you first laid eyes on him ? You're overthinking I just mean when first meeting someone or if already know him, when first talking with each other. [Edited 5/15/2016 7:35:26 AM ]
5/15/2016 7:37:50 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	It sounds like you love being friends with people you can talk down to. Look down at Not really. lol
5/15/2016 7:37:51 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	No I am not . I just trying get some understanding here specially with this topic . Everyone agrees you have to start off as friends before it becomes something more right ?
5/15/2016 7:55:13 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Only if you're not sure if you like them or want to be with them.
5/15/2016 7:57:16 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	What if you are sure you want to be with him you still have to start off being friends
5/15/2016 8:10:03 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	Probably still start off as friends so you don't get stuck with nasty surprises when in a relationship
5/15/2016 9:00:23 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Quote from digital_knight: No I am not . I just trying get some understanding here specially with this topic . Everyone agrees you have to start off as friends before it becomes something more right ? I think two people should be friends also, so it can start out as being friends. But many people KNOW who it definitely would NOT develop into more than just friends with. I can know who it would NOT develop in to more than us being JUST friends. So if we are JUST friends, sex would never happen.
5/15/2016 9:40:49 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	Quote from celyn67: I think two people should be friends also, so it can start out as being friends. But many people KNOW who it definitely would NOT develop into more than just friends with. I can know who it would NOT develop in to more than us being JUST friends. So if we are JUST friends, sex would never happen. With all that being said you don't think a person can change and once that person has changed you still wouldnt want to have sex with him ?
5/15/2016 10:09:02 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
kungfu_candy Alsónémedi Hungary 27, joined Aug. 2013	Because all they care about is getting laid and having it be convenient. They think since they already have the friendship aspect on lock, they can throw in sex and have the worlds most convenient/successful bout of FWB. They don't think of the possibilities of it being shit and not being able to go back. Or how THEY would change and try to turn every get together into a sexual encounter.
5/15/2016 10:21:57 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016	It's pretty cringeworthy
5/15/2016 10:37:12 AM	Does sex ruin friendships?
digital_knight Grand Rapids, MI 44, joined Nov. 2012	@ Kungful I really cant wait until day you get married . 2 years after marriage I bet you going look back at all of that negative things you are saying right now about sex and friendship you going wish you didnt think of it this way you are now .

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