| 6/10/2016 9:19:23 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
After a discussion with several friends, it seemed as if after a breakup, women are more willing to remain friends with their ex, while men were not.
Is it possible that it's for the same reason? More invested for the females, more likely they wanted to stay involved. For the men, the more invested, the more they wanted distance.
I guess we just hurt differently...
Would you be willing to remain friends?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
| 6/10/2016 9:23:28 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
57, joined May. 2009
|
There is only one who I'd have been unable to be friends with. It was just too painful. The others? Yeah, probably could. One I did for a while.
The guy I couldn't broke up with me. The others, I did the breaking up. Except in one case, we just drifted apart.
Maybe, for me, it was about who ended it.
|
| 6/10/2016 9:24:24 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
chairman_drth
Toronto, ON
46, joined Dec. 2015
|
Nope, not at all.
I cant be friends with a woman that I still have some type of romantic attachment or some feelings.
Ive been friends with two exes but that is because we realized that there are no emotional attachments.
I really dont think it works for most people, it's more of the exception vs the rule.
|
| 6/10/2016 9:27:25 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
I tried to remain friends with my ex husband until he became too toxic.
I guess I feel that once I love someone, I love them and still want to have them in my life. To know how they are and that they are well.
|
| 6/10/2016 9:31:34 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
chairman_drth
Toronto, ON
46, joined Dec. 2015
|
Did you have kids with your ex husband?
|
| 6/10/2016 9:34:18 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
57, joined May. 2009
|
Oh yes. There is always a spot in my heart for someone I once loved like that. I've been lucky that none of the men were terrible or toxic or anything. It just wasn't right any longer. Even the one where it was so painful, it wasn't because he was a bad person.
If you have children together, you have to maintain some kind of civil relationship, it'd be nicer if it can be a friendship. I mean, you loved someone once, why wouldn't you still want their life to be happy and good, especially if yours is?
|
| 6/10/2016 9:39:23 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
We had children. He became so vile that it was better for everyone that we no longer some to each other. It hurt too many others.
|
| 6/10/2016 9:46:39 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
chairman_drth
Toronto, ON
46, joined Dec. 2015
|
When children are involved it makes sense to try and be friends but when it becomes toxic , you cannot.
You cannot put a square in a round hole .
|
| 6/10/2016 9:51:49 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
I never understood why he couldn't remain friends.
That's what started the discussion. The men stated that it was too hurtful to remain friends. The women said that it was to hurtful to not.
Must be why we are all crazy after a break up!
|
| 6/10/2016 9:59:06 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
chairman_drth
Toronto, ON
46, joined Dec. 2015
|
And that is why Men are from mars and women are from venus and actually never mind what I was going to say after that 
|
| 6/10/2016 10:01:34 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
|
| 6/10/2016 10:06:08 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013
|
I have harbor no ill will toward any ex of mine.
|
| 6/10/2016 10:09:07 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
29, joined Sep. 2015
|
No, they are an ex for a very serious reason.
|
| 6/10/2016 10:14:27 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
driver406
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
|
If I see her at a group event I say  and when I leave I say . That's about all the conversation with her I can take.
|
| 6/10/2016 10:22:24 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
digital_knight
Grand Rapids, MI
44, joined Nov. 2012
|
I dont see how anybody could remain friends with an ex if they cheated on you and or abuse you. Most of my ex's cheated on me so no I cant be friends with a woman like that .
|
| 6/10/2016 10:23:17 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013
online now!
|
After a discussion with several friends, it seemed as if after a breakup, women are more willing to remain friends with their ex, while men were not.
Is it possible that it's for the same reason? More invested for the females, more likely they wanted to stay involved. For the men, the more invested, the more they wanted distance.
I guess we just hurt differently...
Would you be willing to remain friends?
For once, Michelle, you and I would be puzzled by the exact same questions and observation.
I can only speak for myself, what I have been through, and what I have read on the subject.
Now, in my experiences, it all depends on "what" caused the relationship failures. If it is lies and deceit, then I close them off and they no longer exist to me.
In the cases where I screwed up, I only remained friends with them long enough to male amends and try to prevent being left with resentment. It wasn't very successful.
I have only one ex, that I consider a "friend", and have the utmost respect for her. I would give my life to protect her, if she were in immediate danger. But, she is an exception, not the typical woman. We broke up mutually, and it hurt her as much as it did me. The timing was all wrong. We went our separate ways. She went and had a few children, got married, has a very successful career. I continue ly search for women that never want kids and still understand how to respect a man in the same fashion that women expect us to respect them.
Now, from what I have read. I actually found a very good article, today, about childhood psychology. Since you have a degree in this field, you may find this worth listening to.
Mattel has been conducting research, by surveying young children on what they want in their toys.
Boys like toys that portray the "Good" guys overcoming the "Bad" guys, even if it means slaying them.
Girls, however, have a default natural tendency to want the "Good" guys to be friends with the "Bad" guys, in the end.
Now, normally I would write this article off as complete BS, but it catches my attention for two reasons:
1. Toy companies can stand to lose massive profits for selling toys that children do not want. So, their marketing and research has to be at the top of its game for accuracy.
2. A person's greatest mental impacts, that determine their personality as an adult, occur between the age of 0-5 years.
Factoring these two concepts into this mix, and it may shed some light as to why women try to remain friends after a breakup(despite sabotaging future relationships) and men are less likely to do so.
Maybe it is actually a default programming or hardwiring of our natural mentality, and has less to do with how much we invested in the relationship.
Then again, their are those nutless magina, emo-types that probably NEVER get over any breakups.......
|
| 6/10/2016 10:59:33 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
flyfish77
Conyers, GA
50, joined Jul. 2014
|
only at a safe distance,an never talk or see them much..for sure......
|
| 6/11/2016 7:58:31 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
|
I'm firmly in the "it depends on the circumstances" camp.
I don't easily latch on to someone and declare them a real mate all that easily to begin with (too much bad experience early on), so there haven't been that many.
There's only one which is forever in the never-darken-my-door-again category. Even my ex wife, who said vile things about me, hid money from me in preparation to divorce me and so on, is technically still friends, mainly because I understand what being bipolar means, and because we have children.
Most shorter attempted mate relationships remained friends "on paper," because we parted amicably enough, but functionally that's meaningless, because we never had any reason to see each other after. If I ran into them somewhere, I would probably enthusiastically greet them and wish them well again.
As for the male-female thing, I think overall that it's bogus. Not that there aren't differences, mind you. I think that the people to whom it's important to say they are still friends after even a nasty breakup, are fooling themselves, and trying to fool the world. What they are really doing, isn't "being a friend." They are really playing a sort of political game, trying to make themselves look good to others, and to themselves, by playing the part of the honorable person who they are not.
|
| 6/11/2016 9:28:10 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
@test
Wow that's harsh!
I have remained friends with one that I broke up with. Because I truly care for him and his kids. I'd do anything for him. Not because of how it makes me look.
Just because it doesn't work out with another, doesn't mean you have to negate their importance to you or to your life.
|
| 6/11/2016 9:31:41 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
53, joined Oct. 2013
|
Michele, you look great, let's go Pens!
|
| 6/11/2016 9:37:54 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
Thanks, sweetie!
Pens!
|
| 6/11/2016 9:50:34 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
doublethree
Germantown, TN
39, joined Oct. 2013
|
Not really. If they talk t me now, I could be friendly to them, but a couple in particular were b*tches and also tried to purposely make me mad if we did talk. One of them kept insisting she wanted to be friends, then she just kept telling me about sex with her bf, obviously trying to get a reaction from me.
|
| 6/11/2016 9:58:28 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
lynyrd80
Wood River, NE
54, joined Jan. 2014
|
The only reason I try to remain a "friend" with Ex. #2, is to see my kids. Other than that, there are some I can be friends with, others....NO.
|
| 6/11/2016 10:09:24 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Jan. 2016
online now!
|
I think men tend to be more jealous and that is why. Not sure if they get more hurt or if it's a different coping mechanism. I think if they can't have you they think well they don't want to still be involved then and especially if you get a new guy lol
|
| 6/11/2016 10:57:32 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
amusicluvr
Salem, OR
63, joined Nov. 2013
|
I have nothing to do with exes. I do not visit, call, text, etc, them. As far as I am concerned, they no longer exist. If they keep contacting me, they get a fair, and final, warning. If they persist after that, they will no longer exist. Over is over, and done is done...one way, or the other.
|
| 6/11/2016 11:08:21 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
57, joined May. 2009
|
Not really. If they talk t me now, I could be friendly to them, but a couple in particular were b*tches and also tried to purposely make me mad if we did talk. One of them kept insisting she wanted to be friends, then she just kept telling me about sex with her bf, obviously trying to get a reaction from me.
The one I mentioned before that broke up with me, I ran into a month or so later. He spent the few minutes we were together by telling me how wonderful his new relationship was (which was with the woman he broke up with me for.)
I'm not sure why someone would do that, other than to get a reaction. Unless they're really that clueless about it.
|
| 6/11/2016 11:18:53 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
flyfish77
Conyers, GA
50, joined Jul. 2014
|
i,ll not date no one who is remotely or in close proximity to there ex,o sure me an him are still good friends,right..no thanx on that.......
|
| 6/11/2016 11:55:17 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
|
@test
Wow that's harsh!
I have remained friends with one that I broke up with. Because I truly care for him and his kids. I'd do anything for him. Not because of how it makes me look.
Just because it doesn't work out with another, doesn't mean you have to negate their importance to you or to your life.
I think you must have misread what I said. The only person I never want to even see again, is the one who lied, cheated, and actively worked to directly damage my life in ways you can't imagine, owing to the fact that she was living entirely in a delusionary world.
How is that harsh on my part?
|
| 6/11/2016 12:20:42 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
I thought it was harsh of you to say that one wanting to remain friends is trying to act as if they are honorable when in fact they are not.
I don't believe that.
Sometimes you just still care about them.
|
| 6/11/2016 1:44:37 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013
online now!
|
I thought it was harsh of you to say that one wanting to remain friends is trying to act as if they are honorable when in fact they are not.
I don't believe that.
Sometimes you just still care about them.
The road to Hell is always paved with good intentions, Michelle.
|
| 6/11/2016 2:05:21 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
49, joined Jun. 2013
|
I have tried to remain on friendly terms with my ex. However, it's just at the level of holiday greetings and text messages. I haven't made any plans to spend time with him because I am dating someone else right now. He's dating someone else too. It's not really fair to the new people you date to still be INVOLVED with your ex... i.e. an active friendship.
|
| 6/11/2016 2:14:05 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
dasnixter
Jessieville, AR
58, joined Jul. 2010
|
I've better things to do
than waste time being friends.
Unless they come w/benefits
they're no friend of mine. 
|
| 6/11/2016 3:23:32 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
testsignup
Springfield, VA
62, joined Sep. 2009
|
I thought it was harsh of you to say that one wanting to remain friends is trying to act as if they are honorable when in fact they are not.
I don't believe that.
Sometimes you just still care about them.
Ah. I see that you misunderstood me, because I wasn't clear enough.
It's not wanting to remain friends that is dishonorable. It is WHY some people want to declare NOMINAL friendship, usually in order to selfishly benefit themselves, which I object to.
Such as the people who, upon being caught cheating, want to have the person they insulted and injured by their cheating, cheerfully agree to feign friendship going forward, so that the cheater can continue to pretend to themselves and the rest of the worlds that they are "nice."
|
| 6/11/2016 4:01:56 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
The road to Hell is always paved with good intentions, Michelle.
Sadly, it seems that way...
|
| 6/11/2016 11:51:13 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
kungfu_candy
Alsónémedi
Hungary
27, joined Aug. 2013
|
Funny story.
A friend came to see me. 39 years old. Looks to be in his 20's. Really funny in a sweet and innocent way. Unique style.
He visits me whenever he's in town to see his family.
Any who, a few hours into us hanging out again he gets a phone call. I get up and give him some space and watch a street performer practice as he sets up.
S0o0o0o, it turns out his ex girlfriend was calling him to see where the hell he was because they were supposed to hang out and go to like a festival or flea market together.
According to him she already has a new boyfriend. I was teasing him because how do you forget you made plans with someone like that.
|
| 6/12/2016 7:36:46 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
doublethree
Germantown, TN
39, joined Oct. 2013
|
I think men tend to be more jealous and that is why. Not sure if they get more hurt or if it's a different coping mechanism. I think if they can't have you they think well they don't want to still be involved then and especially if you get a new guy lol
Girls do the same thing as much, or more so, I think.
|
| 6/12/2016 7:39:12 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
doublethree
Germantown, TN
39, joined Oct. 2013
|
The one I mentioned before that broke up with me, I ran into a month or so later. He spent the few minutes we were together by telling me how wonderful his new relationship was (which was with the woman he broke up with me for.)
I'm not sure why someone would do that, other than to get a reaction. Unless they're really that clueless about it.
Yeah, I sued to give people the benefit of the doubt and think it was u intentional, but seriously.... with the girl I mentioned, I TOLD HER to stop and she kept on and on. Then again, they were 18 yos, so.... they are going to be immature.
|
| 6/12/2016 7:51:35 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
raisedred
Louisville, KY
29, joined Mar. 2016
|
Friends? Not really! I have stayed cordial and friendly with him. We have a number of mutual friends, community activities in common and attend the same church.
|
| 6/12/2016 8:00:44 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
the_israelite
Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro
Brazil
34, joined Apr. 2016
|
I try to be, however, most of my exes I do not keep in touch with anymore. One was still on my alternative Facebook page the last time I recall, but I hardly go on there and I haven't hit her up on a long time. The last notification I remember of hers was something about having another baby with a new guy.
|
| 6/12/2016 8:02:49 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
the_israelite
Rio de JaneiroRio de Janeiro
Brazil
34, joined Apr. 2016
|
Friends? Not really! I have stayed cordial and friendly with him. We have a number of mutual friends, community activities in common and attend the same church.
I had the mind to also post that I can see people still being "cool" with their exes as in, IF they see them, they can have a conversation to see how each other is doing and so on and so forth. However, I do not see it as wise to just keep calling each other out of the clear blue or hanging out, especially if one or both are in another relationship.
If they so happen to still be on each other's Facebook (which, if the relationship was really serious, I'm not sure how wise that would be either), I suppose they can check on each other that way occasionally.
|
| 6/12/2016 8:36:36 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
viper1e
Jeannette, PA
58, joined Dec. 2013
|
After a discussion with several friends, it seemed as if after a breakup, women are more willing to remain friends with their ex, while men were not.
Is it possible that it's for the same reason? More invested for the females, more likely they wanted to stay involved. For the men, the more invested, the more they wanted distance.
I guess we just hurt differently...
Would you be willing to remain friends?
Of course.
I put fresh flowers on her grave every year...
They hide the big steamy shit I took, right where her head would be! 
|
| 6/12/2016 9:27:50 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
ertswuywrtesujw
Pahrump, NV
56, joined Jun. 2012
|
Most were friends first, so yes I am still friends with most my X's
|
| 6/12/2016 10:50:14 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
lightbrownie1
Johnston, IA
47, joined Feb. 2016
|
Is it possible that it's for the same reason? More invested for the females, more likely they wanted to stay involved. For the men, the more invested, the more they wanted distance.
I guess we just hurt differently...
Would you be willing to remain friends?
I am friends with my ex. We don't have any issues with one another.
What the strange part of my situation is...we became friends after our split. Couldn't get along while together for over 17 yrs but once we split we became friends.
I believe that our reason was due to our kids. We told all four of them that we will always be together and after 10 years of the split we still celebrate most holidays and their birthdays together.
We wanted our children to know...it was not about them and although we couldn't get along together...doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to tolerate one another for the dake of our kids.
At first..it wasnt easy...but it didn't take long for us to get over us...and focus on our kids.
|
| 6/12/2016 10:54:03 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
viper1e
Jeannette, PA
58, joined Dec. 2013
|
Most were friends first, so yes I am still friends with most my X's
It's just about the only part of my life, where I'm non-Christian.
Once betrayed, I never forgive. My wish was that she be gang-raped by a pack of wild, rabid, wolverines...
It almost came true. 
|
| 6/12/2016 6:58:30 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
ertswuywrtesujw
Pahrump, NV
56, joined Jun. 2012
|
It's just about the only part of my life, where I'm non-Christian.
Once betrayed, I never forgive. My wish was that she be gang-raped by a pack of wild, rabid, wolverines...
It almost came true.
Ok, but I've known girls that think that is just kinky.
|
| 6/12/2016 10:50:05 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
chris3357m
Ashley, OH
29, joined Dec. 2012
|
there aren't any ex's i'm still friends with... i think you're right to some extent, especially the more invested i am the more likely i am to unfriend and move on as quickly as i can. there are some ex's i wish i could still be friends with because i broke up with them and see them as friend material but only because that is the case.
i have an ex that still messages me from time to time, it's just awkward for me. if you didn't want me, why bother still trying to talk to me? lovers and friends are two completely different things that just don't mix imo. maybe friends with benefits lol but i don't think that'd ever last long for me if it were to occur...
why? i think it's just easier. do you keep all the pictures and videos and memories of your ex after they've broken up with you? most likely not and i think it's the same with your ex. you guys are thru, why keep them around unless it's possible you guys would end up back together some time in the future and in that case it'd be like you're waiting for something that may never happen. i'd rather not waste my time and just be hurt watching them move on.
|
| 6/12/2016 11:12:41 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
flyfish77
Conyers, GA
50, joined Jul. 2014
|
theres 2 sides to all storoies did you make him mean or vile,or did life do that..i believe you can be mean an abrupt too,i have seen it,anyway..good luck......
|
| 6/13/2016 5:41:16 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
@ Chris
I think I keep pics and videos as I like to keep memories. There was something good at one time or else you wouldn't have been together.
I guess that's why I try to keep them as friends. I still see what I liked about them in the good times.
|
| 6/13/2016 6:14:35 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013
online now!
|
There is only ONE woman, that I have ever decided to keep pictures of.
What does that tell you, when there is actually ONE woman that can pull my sentimental side out?
|
| 6/13/2016 6:15:51 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
sobe111
Miami Beach, FL
39, joined Oct. 2013
|
Yes for the most part. ..
|
| 6/13/2016 6:48:42 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
53, joined Nov. 2013
|
There is only ONE woman, that I have ever decided to keep pictures of.
What does that tell you, when there is actually ONE woman that can pull my sentimental side out?
Awwwww
That's sweet...
|
| 6/13/2016 7:56:04 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
viper1e
Jeannette, PA
58, joined Dec. 2013
|
I keep pics of my ex. I print them out to use for target practice.
|
| 6/13/2016 8:09:30 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
chris3357m
Ashley, OH
29, joined Dec. 2012
|
I keep pics of my ex. I print them out to use for target practice.
|
| 6/13/2016 8:32:01 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
ctr916v2
Roseville, CA
53, joined Nov. 2014
|
i require two-way communication, or i am not going.
|
| 6/13/2016 9:49:22 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
35, joined Mar. 2013
online now!
|
Awwwww
That's sweet...
Yeah, well, I highly doubt I will ever be with her, ever again. So, it is really just a self-defeating purpose.
She is a Scorpio, and I crossed her. You have better chance of farting rainbow sherbet and it tasting like orange Sunkist, than the chances of a Scorpio EVER giving you a 2nd chance.... 
|
| 6/13/2016 11:56:38 PM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
cupocheer
Assumption, IL
67, joined May. 2010
|
Don't have any friends.
|
| 6/14/2016 2:41:30 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
M4mischief
Grand Prairie, TX
98, joined May. 2016
online now!
|
Not generally...I usually like to cut all ties and just move on with my life...I am however mellowing out though so anything is possible I suppose....
|
| 6/14/2016 3:16:02 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
23, joined Jan. 2016
online now!
|
I seriously have no problem clinging or letting them cling onto me forever as long as they are generally nice and such. They can also buy pics and stuff off me if they like 
|
| 6/14/2016 6:47:05 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
patlove2
Swansea, MA
33, joined Jun. 2012
|
Not at all best 175 lbs. I ever lost.
|
| 6/14/2016 7:00:06 AM |
Do you remain friends with an ex? |
|
Ch4mbella
Virginia Beach, VA
95, joined Jan. 2016
|
After a discussion with several friends, it seemed as if after a breakup, women are more willing to remain friends with their ex, while men were not.
Is it possible that it's for the same reason? More invested for the females, more likely they wanted to stay involved. For the men, the more invested, the more they wanted distance.
I guess we just hurt differently...
Would you be willing to remain friends?
hmm I guess it depends on the person.. I have found the complete opposite.. 
|