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8/8/2010 10:25:10 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
nicgy4u
Milford, ME
42, joined Aug. 2010


wow from start to finish in this blog it seam's thier is a need for a lot of growing and and even a few people that need's hug's. some you can trust some you cant. you can me married for 2 year's or 30 year's and still get devorced. it is sad in today's world how every thing is run and done. very very sad. when kid's are brought into the world to injoy the problem's with the screwed up parent's. for some it's a free housing and food and alittle spending money .some are not strong anuff or have a back bone to go out and get a job and support thier loved one's. and it's either the mother or the dad that wont's to cop out or both on taking care of the kid's fun making them tho right dumb azz's. i was drunk ohhhhh it felt to good the rubber broke she told me she was on the pill.. it's alway's after the fact..... just dont under stand this word any more. the worst part is you can never trust any of them male or femal well 85 % any way. give them a chance and they will bite. the the one staying at home will never ever know their being cheeted on, sad. this shit can go so many many different way's for either sex. and it is sad that you see more teen's really young having kid's and geting on the state. easy way out of the real world i guess. baby's having baby's. then you have 50-60 year old's wonting kid;s wow wrong wrong i dont think any of these people think about the kid's all about them. " hey can i spot a bag of weed til the first of the month when i get my check i promiss i will pay you " how true it is and very sad world young low life kid's having baby's grow up change make a life for your self might be harder but promiss you would feel alot better about your self's .just stand back andlook at your self and wounder what other's say and seam to see when they see "YOU"

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8/8/2010 5:08:43 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

dougiem
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,567)
Tucson, AZ
37, joined Aug. 2009


Jesus Christ, learn how to f**king spell.

8/11/2010 10:49:55 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
jonas35
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,979)
Dahlonega, GA
44, joined Oct. 2008


Maine chat sucks, my name is still on half these threads. I have been suspended. I am guesssing from something I said here. I would have thought you all would welcome me with open arms Atleast I liven up the place?

9/1/2010 8:22:44 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
007blond
Augusta, ME
40, joined Aug. 2010


I have dated only one girl with a kid, and I must say that it was some of the best DATES I have had. The dates were original, example our first date was to a John Lennon expo. We started dating and built a friendship that moved into a relationship.

Even though that relationship didn't work out for other reasons, the kid wasn't one of them. I still have a friendship with this girl and her kid almost ten years later.

So my only advice is to say not all baggage is bad baggage.

Single moms step up, nice guy here looking to date! If you don't find me attractive there are others with the same mind set.

11/17/2010 11:31:06 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
nicgy4u
Milford, ME
42, joined Aug. 2010


this is the crap that im talking about. kid's like this that reply junk. guess they were not raised right. instead of worrying about him self he is talking crap i guess to try to make him self look better to other's . which most would call this type home wrecker's. a guy with a low low self of steam that need's alot of help but the first step is to tell the truth. i would hope that when the lady's log on here it is to find a guy that is real and true. not fake. or make's out to be one way and come to find out they are something they are not. which happens alot . either way i have sean your type get a girl prego and tuck your tail and run like hell when she tell's you. i guess for most like your self it is hard in today's world to try hard make a life get alittle back bone, instead your dumb azz would stay out with your friend's while the mother is home taking care of the kid's . and i bet your mother even buy's you smoke's or ohhh mom can i have alittle money 4 gas. ya know it feel's good to make my own money and spending it on some one i love. your type will never see or understand that just take take take. hanmd out after hand out. i hope you never enter a church the roof would cave in. 4 one if you were on here to find some one nice or just to chat and be grown up you would not be typing crap like you did but in your little fake world in your head i bet you win all the lady's over, then when they catch on it will be nice to be 45-50 and single just hope to got you dont mix up and kid's in your little world of game's and home wrecking way's just grow up injoy life dont talj smack about some one else or what they do or how they take care of them self's worry about your self ,

11/18/2010 3:31:37 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

dougiem
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,567)
Tucson, AZ
37, joined Aug. 2009


Quote from dougiem:
Jesus Christ, learn how to f**king spell... and learn the definition of "home wrecker."


11/18/2010 7:38:42 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
nicgy4u
Milford, ME
42, joined Aug. 2010


see here yea go again. instead of worrying about your self your still talking smack about other's one thing i love about this site is being able to see who is talking so much smack like your self. i do go to brewer every now and then i should watch for yea. we should chat.

11/19/2010 3:31:57 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

dougiem
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,567)
Tucson, AZ
37, joined Aug. 2009


Scary.

I love how it's always these Jesus-loving Christians who are the most backwards and violent.



"OMG, SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET SAID SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE. I SHOULD BEAT HIM UP!"

It's the internet, dude. Take it more seriously while you're at it.

11/22/2010 12:09:21 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
z06need4speed
Bangor, ME
35, joined Jan. 2010


I know quite a few single moms in the area and none of them are white trash. They are all great people.

You can judge the situation that follows a single parent but don't judge the people before you know them.

11/27/2010 10:17:33 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
workinman12
Lewiston, ME
37, joined Nov. 2010


That is funny i feel the opposite way. A man with kids is a turn off?

1/14/2011 1:11:51 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

lowenbrau9
Windham, ME
37, joined Aug. 2009


I know this thread is really old, but just wanted to add my two cents, because I've always wanted somebody to ask about this, without me offering my opinion first.

There are several reasons a man might not want to date a woman with children. And at least one of them is far from being selfish or immature! That being #3

1. Usually when somebody wants a kid, they want their own on their time It's a big responsibility and it's estimated by the time a kid turns 18, it will have costs $250,000 to raise them. For a lot of guys, the prospect of becoming dad for a child whose suppose to have their own father with their mother, isn't very appealing. Especially when meeting somebody new when dating begins. Because you know if you get involved with them you're going to become the step dad! It's inevitable. For the woman, would you want to start dating somebody and automatically inherit somebody else's kids that you had nothing to do with bringing into the world, if it becomes a relationship?

2. When you start dating somebody, it's really hard to get to know them, or have time with them without the kid getting in the way of getting to know them. And that's going to happen if they''re a good mom, and their kid comes first. Like they should. If the new man becomes the first priority, that doesn't say very much about the woman. If things progress, how do you go away for the weekend, or stay out late, or have sex? The kid definitely doesn't need to hear their mom having sex with some guy that;s not their dad. And they need them to be at home, too. Not running off for the weekend, or left at home with the babysitter while she's out half the night. The younger the kid the more imperative these things are.

3. As with all relationships, most don't last. If things turn serious and you're around for a significant amount of time and playing to role of dad, the kids going to get attached to you. They've probably already got issues because their dad isn't around due to being the product of a fling, or a maybe a divorce? That's traumatizing enough to a kid. Even an older one! If a "step dad" comes into play and the relationship fizzles, it's just going to screw the kid up more. Basically, once you have a kid, you're suppose to be with the father. If you're married and things get rough, you tough it out for the child's sake (instead of taking the easy route of no fault divorce that has lost all stigma in society) not put your own happiness first at that point. If the original father is out of the picture, the woman owes it to her kid to stay single until they are 18, or close to it. It was a poor choice to get with a deadbeat that knocked her up because she couldn't use a condom or birth control. It's not that hard. Because that was her choice, she should sacrifice her own happiness for that of the kid, until they're grown, instead of get a new man that might well leave, and mess the kid up more! If it's a girl, they're going to have issues of abandonment. If it's a boy, they're going to start acting out, getting aggressive, trying to get attention the wrong way in school. They may also have abandonment issues?

4. If you got involved with a woman with kids, even if the mom loves the kids, if she starts putting more and more time into a serious relationship, to a kid without a dad in the house, they're going to feel like they take 2nd place to the new man. As mentioned above, they're already going to have issues, this is just going to give them more.

5. Maybe the guy doesn't like or doesn't want kids? Ever. That's just a choice. Nothing wrong with that. Some people aren't kid people. Especially bastard children. I don't mean that to be offensive, but to be the true meaning of the word. Illegitimate kids to an unwed mother. There use to be a time there was stigma and shame with that. But that's gone out the window, along with divorce when things get tough.

6. Whether it's fair or not, a single woman with kids shows she made bad choices along the line and probably doesn't have good judgment? Pregnancy is completely preventable 99% of the time with precautions, and it says she wasn't smart enough to take them. And/or she had a bad taste in guys, or is attracted to the wrong ones? Or even just promiscuous? The more kids she has, and the younger she is, the more the evidence points to this.

7. Assuming the relationship beats the odds and progresses and you both get married... As I mentioned, raising a kid cost a lot of money. Once you're married, you legally become the step dad and end up invest mega dollars to help raise a kid you had nothing to do with. If you get divorced (which could likely happen if she's already had one before. Because it shows she's not ashamed of divorce) then she can just go to court and get half your earning to raise the kid you had nothing to do with. And again, the kid is even more screwed up then before.

Those are the reasons I wouldn't date a woman with kids. And I don't think #3 is selfish or immature? If anything, it says I care more about the woman's kid than she does because I'm thinking about the kids sake, not my own.



[Edited 1/14/2011 1:15:31 AM ]

2/16/2011 3:36:53 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Maine has too many women of what I call the trifecta- smokers, obesity and kids.

2/17/2011 8:25:17 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

sweetnpetite41
Saco, ME
47, joined Jan. 2011


Do you guys realize you are on a dating site? Because these kinds of statements will not get you a date, that's for sure! I think some of the comments are down right RUDE to tell you the truth. If you feel that way, that's one thing, but to actually make comments as rude as what I'm hearing....let's me know why you are single. As for the single moms out there, (I was also a single mom, my daughter is 21 now)but if their not your cup of tea, walk away because I'm sure that their is someone else out there for you. What it sounds like to me, is that you like the single moms but not everything that comes with it, sorry you can't have it all your way.....boo hoo to you! For all the single moms out there, I say look, but keep stepping!

Have a great day!

2/17/2011 12:30:59 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


sweet, you are right of course, but i have read some horrible tings being said by women on here too.
and honestly, if i have dating preferences i should not be faulted for them.


tell me- is what i said untrue?

2/17/2011 2:48:30 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


I don't mean to sound callous, but ultimately we (that is ALL humans) go through a mental tally of a person before we truly commit to them (or hell even go out with them). Are they attractive, not too obnoxious, do they like twilight novels, etc etc...

The only difference nowadays is that the internet has given us access to a greater amount of info than in the past. So whereas in 1990 a woman that chained smoked and had 5 kids might reel in a man, now her potential date has that info prior to even meeting in person.

People's preferences have not changed. All the internet has done has given people the ability to search farther afield for potential mates. This is good and bad. It means joe shmoe has more opportunities to meet someone. It also means people can be more picky. Though in reality, the only limit has always been ourselves.

Looks, financial situation, hygiene, lifestyle, kids, personality- These are and always have been valid reasons not to date someone.

To berate a person for vocalizing what many people are thinking is not appropriate.

I have skimmed the women's forums and it is nothing but ranting lists of what ridiculous things are "red flags" for women.

"if a man drives a X, then I know Z"- whatever.

I find it particularly amusing that if a man loses his job and has to move back in with family he is a worthless POS and should never date, but a woman that has 3 kids from 2 different fathers and is only 29 should be immune from criticism.

2/17/2011 8:20:40 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

sweetnpetite41
Saco, ME
47, joined Jan. 2011


Ok I agree that women can rant too! But let me just ask you one thing, do you think those women come off looking very attractive and interesting or do they just sound bitter? Think about it...it's not attractive to tear people down on either side. No one is perfect and no one is for every one. No bad feelings - Have a great night!

2/17/2011 8:22:00 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


i think that men are far more forgiving about what women say in profiles.

a man can say one little thing wrong and be categorized as misogynist. a women can devote an entire page to how screwed up men are and be called "wise".

2/20/2011 9:34:27 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

celeste0316
Winthrop, ME
42, joined Feb. 2011


I see a lot of judgments going on here. I just got out of an 18 year old relationship. I have 4 children all with the same father(we are not all white trash dear). It's okay not to want to date someone with kids and I respect the honesty, but please show some restraint. How is my spelling for you so far, I am sure everyone reading this is hoping you approve lest we be criticized again. As far as the women on here, please, show some dignity. Pick yourself up and move on, and for heavens sake don't get so offended. So the guy doesn't notice you, find someone who does. You will be far better off if you take your time with this. The guys out there are no more perfect than we are so a little patience is always mandatory from both sides.

Oh, and if I pissed anyone off...whatever, you'll get over it.

3/12/2011 6:06:30 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
parrotheadd19
Winterport, ME
47, joined Dec. 2010


hey I think woman with kids is a plus somtimes there more settled down

3/13/2011 4:11:51 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from parrotheadd19:
hey I think woman with kids is a plus somtimes there more settled down
parrot if you dont want kids of your own, then bless you. i just have no interest in someone else's. not to mention dating single mothers can be weird. it feels like they have to keep asserting how important their kids are.

3/14/2011 4:58:25 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


the fact of the matter is, if you have kids your life has changed. you cant go out and be a party slut when you have kids, you def cant act like the cast of jersey shore and expect to meet decent guys.

3/15/2011 11:23:36 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
ink_me
Belfast, ME
28, joined Feb. 2011


Im a single mom an im not looking for someone to raise my son i can do it on my own i was with my sons dad for 2 yrs b4 i got pregnant an he left me the day our sons twin sister died i didnt choose to b a single mom but im also not dwelling on the past

3/16/2011 2:57:32 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

dougiem
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,567)
Tucson, AZ
37, joined Aug. 2009


Fail.

4/3/2011 1:49:35 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
cld4
Kingfield, ME
56, joined Jul. 2010


You go girl!!!

4/3/2011 5:21:49 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from cld4:
You go girl!!!
what exactly did she say that felt deserved that embarrassingly outdated colloquialism?

4/11/2011 5:18:47 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
omniseed
Portland, ME
31, joined Apr. 2011


I don't mind if a woman I'm interested in has children, but it can make getting together to do the kinds of things that men and women do to each other more difficult.

4/19/2011 11:58:02 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

beauty4all77
Windham, ME
40, joined Oct. 2010


I have to say this is the most interesting posts i have read recently..I have 3 kids and i have lots of free time when i need being that mine are ages from a teen to preteen at this time and i dont have to worry about exes worrying about my dating life either being i have sole custody of mine children.As for men who dont want to date women with children then thats there problem i really could care less for them in the first place. This is a dating site and for the ones who don't want to date women with children it is there in plain site on our profiles stating we have children.I dont sit around waiting for any man to notice me at all if it happens than it happens but im not gonna worry about if i have one my priority its to my kids but they like to see me happy too. I was married at one time too and we divorced on the basis of irreconcialbe diffrences. If I had been able to keep my family together i would have but that wasnt an option. It be no means recks a child because we divorced it made them happy because they were miserable with us together and sometimes it for the best. I think by no means anyone should stay together because of a child if you as parents are not able to work it out at all. I also think by no means any man should step into a family life at all if they think they are going to be a stepparent from the beginning. For the ladies who have read the single post by men who do not want to date women with children well the opionons do not matter anyways because your not going to date them. I also think this whole post thing is a joke too.

4/19/2011 3:43:56 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
omniseed
Portland, ME
31, joined Apr. 2011


You know what's not a joke to me?


Paragraphs.

4/19/2011 4:20:26 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

dougiem
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,567)
Tucson, AZ
37, joined Aug. 2009




4/19/2011 5:50:34 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

beauty4all77
Windham, ME
40, joined Oct. 2010


Do you really I think I care.

4/19/2011 11:09:00 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from beauty4all77:
Do you really I think I care.
well your poor judgment is in evidence, sorry to say.

4/29/2011 1:20:19 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
bowdoinham
Bowdoinham, ME
42, joined Apr. 2011


i love kids i wish i had some kids

4/30/2011 9:28:29 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


Is a single mom, like many other posts I have read on here lately, I certainly did not choose it. I don't think it's fair to classify all single mothers, as being second rate in the dating society just becuase we already have children. It takes two to make a baby, so chances are, there are just as many "dads" out there looking for a relationship. It's almost amusing the way in which a man can be father, who may or may not have anything to do with his children, but he does not get osticized like a women does for already having children.
I am a single mother yes, Am I looking for somone to be my daughter's father?....NO. She has a father. What am I looking for is somone is mature enough, and openminded to see that having a child isn't extra baggage. If I am willing to put myslef out there, and allow somone into my daughter's life, that person has to be somone who is worth it.
So in actuallity, a single mother allowing somone into her life isn't that of desperation it is that of a new begining.
In one way or another, we all share a common interest, weather you have a child or not, we are all searching for some sort of happiness.

5/1/2011 9:46:22 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Hun, no one is saying that single mothers are bad people or anything like that.

what we are saying is having a child by default changes the situation, and affects future dating.

It changes a womans priorities, her free time and her budgets, amongst other things.

Now you may not like/approve/want children to be called baggage, but its a rather glib, but accurate term.



ANd honestly? It's a perfectly valid reason not to want to date someone.


I really admire people that can marry someone with young kids already, i doubt i could do it. I know that when i have kids they would take priority over someone elses.

and PS i LOVE the implication that not wanting someone elses kids is immature.



[Edited 5/1/2011 9:47:23 AM ]

5/1/2011 10:20:00 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
tsk207
Biddeford, ME
45, joined Jul. 2010


ok I'm usually pretty quiet on here but this post urks me! If the shoe was on the other foot how would you men feel? To me this is some descriminating crap! Us women aren't looking for Daddys for our children. We want someone to love and respect us. We want a man to be proud that us single women can take care of ourselves and our children without their deadbeat fathers. Of course it's going to effect our budgets but what business is it of yours what my budget is? Are you paying my bills? I think not! Is it going to effect our datig? Some but a single mom is not going to place priority on a man over her chldren. So get over it! How many of you men come from a single parent? Love can happen at the most unusual time and if you pass up on a good woman just because she has children then it's your loss not hers!

5/1/2011 11:54:08 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from tsk207:
ok I'm usually pretty quiet on here but this post urks me! If the shoe was on the other foot how would you men feel? To me this is some descriminating crap! Us women aren't looking for Daddys for our children. We want someone to love and respect us. We want a man to be proud that us single women can take care of ourselves and our children without their deadbeat fathers. Of course it's going to effect our budgets but what business is it of yours what my budget is? Are you paying my bills? I think not! Is it going to effect our datig? Some but a single mom is not going to place priority on a man over her chldren. So get over it! How many of you men come from a single parent? Love can happen at the most unusual time and if you pass up on a good woman just because she has children then it's your loss not hers!



lol, maybe you should have remained silent. single fathers find it hard to meet woman too.

YOU DONT READ before posting- no one is bashing single parents, we are merely saying, we don't want the bullshit that comes along with kids, especially if they are someone elses.

As for the rest of your blather, its all f**king irrelevant!

Why don;t you date a fat ugly man hun? hmm? i guarantee one of them would be happy for a date.

Oh! because thats not your preference.


hmm, get it now?


btw you SMOKE too? poor kids....



[Edited 5/1/2011 11:54:40 AM ]

5/1/2011 1:18:59 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
tsk207
Biddeford, ME
45, joined Jul. 2010


If I wanted to date a fat ugly man then I would of asked you for a date.

5/1/2011 1:27:38 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


I do understand that we all have preferences, and yes you have a right to choose not to date a women simply becuase of the fact that already has children. That is your choice to make, just as we all have preferences that we are looking for in a potential partener.
The unfortunate side to that choice is that there are plenty of amazing women out there who you will never get to know.
Being a single parent does change your lifestyle, It does change your income, and most definatly it does change your priorities. On the other hand, just becuase a women is a single parent, that does not mean that she is looking for some knight in shining armor to come in and rescue her from her current situation. I know myself, and I can only speak for myslef, becuase I do know alot of single mothers who lead a different lifestyle than myslef; I have been dealing with my situation since the father of my child and I separated when she was 5 months old. I work fulltime, I pay my bills and I support the both of us. I am not looking for somone to take care of me, or to replace the "father" in my daughter's life. My daughter is my number one priority and that will never change. I do not agree with this underlying notion that just becuase I have already had a child that I am second rate in the dating society. For every single mother that is out there, there is the man that made that situation happen.

My comment about being "mature" was simply more in lew of the fact that, my daughter's father wasn't mature enough to deal with stepping up and being a father. A man that was mature or shall I say, willing and qualified to embrace a situation that was un traditional is somone with whom I am seeking.

5/1/2011 2:26:42 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from tsk207:
If I wanted to date a fat ugly man then I would of asked you for a date.
hehe, charming.

SOmething tells me it isn't having kids thats why you are single.

5/1/2011 2:32:33 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from sweetkissme_81:

On the other hand, just becuase a women is a single parent, that does not mean that she is looking for some knight in shining armor to come in and rescue her from her current situation.

im not saying thats the issue at all. Having a child changes your life, many people (MEN AND WOMEN) do not want a partner that comes with a kid. Simple as that.


My daughter is my number one priority and that will never change. I do not agree with this underlying notion that just becuase I have already had a child that I am second rate in the dating society.

Whether you agree with it or not, reality says otherwise.




For every single mother that is out there, there is the man that made that situation happen.

I agree, though there are plenty of single fathers too. Regardless of HOW a person becomes a single parent, the situation is not appealing to a large majority of the dating scene.



this applies to everyone- Berating people because they choose not to date a single parent is bullshit.

Look at that b*tch above you, she whines that men don't want to date single mothers, but I guarantee she has some bullshit requirements herself.




I genuinely feel for single parents, it's a tough market out there, but ranting on websites won't suddenly make people change their true feelings.

5/1/2011 5:23:37 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


I agree that ranting on websites is not going to change your situation nor is going to altar somone's view point. I respect the fact that you openly have stated that you do not wish to date single mothers . I guess just reading the several comments that had been posted about single moms I felt the urge to let my opinion be heard. Every situation is different, single mothers and single fathers and yes it is a hard market out there on the dating scene, regardless. I wish everyone good luck in there venue of searching for a partener weather you are a single parent or not, everyone deserves to find happiness.

5/2/2011 2:35:06 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

jasper2626
Westbrook, ME
27, joined May. 2011


1) First, screwing up a relationship w/ a woman & her kid is more serious to me... ehem... not that I'm aiming to screw up a relationship lol It's just a lot of pressure, and *most* of the time they are quick to voice "I live for my kid!* which is just down-right intimidating... hence number 2...

2) Women w/ kids *live for their kids.* The guy takes the back-burner to little junior, and women w/ kids tend to be very opinionated about how they raise their children... and I've found that most of them suck at it, and wouldn't want any part of it.

3) Having a kid says certain things about the girl's judgment. For one, it means that they were careless enough to get knocked up by some douchebag who got what he wanted. This also means: a) she probably gave the douchebag more sexually than she'll ever give some future father figure, and b) probably has mental baggage left over from said douchebag, which will then manifest itself into trust issues or something equally drama-prone.

4) I've been smart enough to use a condom. I'm religious about it. It's effective 99% of the time, and so rarely fails. As such, I have a general lack of empathy for people who unintentionally procreate in this overpopulated world, and tend to be repelled away from those types of people.

5) I simply don't want kids, and the girl would have to be UNBELIEVABLE in order to allow my enthusiasm of taking over as a father to shine through.

Whether or not you feel these 5 reasons are valid from the perspective of a single mom, they are the reality for a man who sees you. If you are a a single mom you should focus on eliminating these 5 stereotypes from the energy you emit when you are meeting single men. Don't scare them away by talking about your children as your reason for living. If you are out on a date with a man in that moment he should be your focus not your kids back home with the baby sitter.



[Edited 5/2/2011 2:41:52 AM ]

5/2/2011 5:20:46 AM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

shadesofgray114
Buxton, ME
30, joined Mar. 2011


Lol wow! I'm a mom of an almost 2 year old girl and although I feel like it wouldn't be fair for me to put all that pressure/responsibility on someone else, I NEVER realized that this is how I would be viewed just because I am a single mother! I do agree some of the things said but some of it is also ignorance! Don't judge me because of the single moms u have met in the past. I am a real person lol I just happen to be a mom too!

5/2/2011 6:48:10 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from shadesofgray114:
Lol wow! I'm a mom of an almost 2 year old girl and although I feel like it wouldn't be fair for me to put all that pressure/responsibility on someone else, I NEVER realized that this is how I would be viewed just because I am a single mother! I do agree some of the things said but some of it is also ignorance! Don't judge me because of the single moms u have met in the past. I am a real person lol I just happen to be a mom too!


what exactly "ignorant" has been said,dear?

5/2/2011 7:22:16 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

shadesofgray114
Buxton, ME
30, joined Mar. 2011


The poor judgement with not using protection and a bunch of other things that were said. Just because people have kids together doesn't mean they will stay together. And then if they don't are they just supposed to stay alone forever? Like I said I would never put that that responsibility on someone else but I also never viewed so much negativity towards people. I'm a very hard working single mom. I don't ask anything from anyone except respect and on top of it I think I'm a pretty cool chick. So why does being a single parent define me? And why does it give people the rIght to instantly know my situation? Or assume I should say

5/2/2011 7:46:06 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from shadesofgray114:
The poor judgement with not using protection and a bunch of other things that were said. Just because people have kids together doesn't mean they will stay together. And then if they don't are they just supposed to stay alone forever? Like I said I would never put that that responsibility on someone else but I also never viewed so much negativity towards people. I'm a very hard working single mom. I don't ask anything from anyone except respect and on top of it I think I'm a pretty cool chick. So why does being a single parent define me? And why does it give people the rIght to instantly know my situation? Or assume I should say


define you? stop spouting f**king catch phrases.

you may not like the way people view you because of your situation, but you DO have a situation.


its not different than if a person is blind, or in the military or has 5 dogs- your "situation" affects the way a relationship works.


NO MATTER HOW COOL you may think you are, your life situation affects others, and REGARDLESS of how their minds word it, it doesnt change the reality of it.

5/2/2011 7:47:57 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


and lets be honest here, 9 times out of 10, poor judgment is why a person is a single parent- whether its dating the wrong person or choosing not to have an abortion to whatever.

good judgment leads to good results.


I have so-so judgment myself, fortunately it hasn't bit me in the a** (yet).

5/2/2011 7:48:58 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


and really, you have a friend named buttman with a pic of himself with no shirt, does he really strike you as a good choice to allow into your life?



[Edited 5/2/2011 7:49:09 PM ]

5/2/2011 8:06:58 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  

jasper2626
Westbrook, ME
27, joined May. 2011


I would say not to even mention that you have a kid when you are courting. After the first half of the first date after you feel you have a comfortable connection with your date, let him know you are a mom and that you love your kid but you also want a fresh romantic relationship in your life.

5/2/2011 8:24:24 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from jasper2626:
I would say not to even mention that you have a kid when you are courting. After the first half of the first date after you feel you have a comfortable connection with your date, let him know you are a mom and that you love your kid but you also want a fresh romantic relationship in your life.


and that guy will be mad, not only because he was lied to, but because now he has to be a d*ck and leave her.

5/2/2011 8:37:59 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


not all guys think that "our situtation" is that of a negative one. I have met plenty of guys who don't have a problem dating a single mother. just becuase that is your choice that you do not want to enter into an already existing family, doesn't mean that all guys out there feel the same way. I don't represent all single mothers, so you should not trying to represent all single men out there eather.

5/2/2011 8:42:02 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


the comment about making the wrong choice, weather it be the wrong guy, or choosing not to have an abortion.....God forbid you ever find yourself in a situation where you might someday be a dad. Expect the unexpected, life doesn't always play out the way you planned. People aren't always what they seem, life has a funny way of throwing curve balls at you.

5/2/2011 9:01:03 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from sweetkissme_81:
not all guys think that "our situtation" is that of a negative one. I have met plenty of guys who don't have a problem dating a single mother. just becuase that is your choice that you do not want to enter into an already existing family, doesn't mean that all guys out there feel the same way. I don't represent all single mothers, so you should not trying to represent all single men out there eather.


its a matter of semantics- i will "DATE" a single mother, but i wont marry one.

as for not representing all men? im representing the men that are getting shit on by angry single mothers that think men like me are monsters for not wanting to become seriously involved with a single mother.

5/2/2011 9:18:31 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from sweetkissme_81:
the comment about making the wrong choice, weather it be the wrong guy, or choosing not to have an abortion.....God forbid you ever find yourself in a situation where you might someday be a dad. Expect the unexpected, life doesn't always play out the way you planned. People aren't always what they seem, life has a funny way of throwing curve balls at you.


and when life does, hopefully i wont be so blind as to blame OTHERS for not wanting to date a single dad.

5/2/2011 9:21:37 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


who started this topic? hmm? An angry woman that wrongly felt she was unfairly discriminated against dating-wise.

A man didnt make a topic labeled " why cant all single mothers go away?"

5/3/2011 9:37:38 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


I do not beleive anyone single mother is trying is trying to convince you to date or to change your preference. I think if anything people are just trying to say that the world is more than black and white. The comment about wanting single mother's to go away?....that was a bit harsh. I would not want to date a guy that wasn't interested in being a part of my childs life as well. It's pretty easy for you to sit here and make your judgments and your sterotypes on what you think Single mothers are, or aren't. The truth of the matter is, we are still women, who happened to have a child as well. Again, like I previously stated, it is your choice as to what your preferences are, and I am not trying to convince you otherwise. Some of the comments that you throw out there though are insensitive and arrogent. I respect the fact that our viewpoints differ, but you need to respect the fact that we are mothers to children, and that deserves respect.

5/4/2011 4:54:57 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from sweetkissme_81:
The comment about wanting single mother's to go away?....that was a bit harsh.


you DO understand the " symbol was meant to express a quotation, right? and That i was using my statement to illustrate how hateful and angry the original poster was?


It's pretty easy for you to sit here and make your judgments and your sterotypes on what you think Single mothers are, or aren't.


It's no more easy than attacking men that aren't interested in single mothers.

The truth of the matter is, we are still women, who happened to have a child as well.


And just like any other baggage, it affects a womans (or man's) marketability.
Nothing you say will change that.

Some of the comments that you throw out there though are insensitive and arrogant.

Maybe, maybe not, but they are not false.

we are mothers to children, and that deserves respect.


so letting some dbag impregnate a woman and then having some slack jawed future monster truck watching hick deserves respect?


I do not believe motherhood unto itself is deserving of respect, it's a biological function that in THIS state 9 out of 10 times comes from two stupid people having unprotected sex and producing one more welfare mooch.





Let me state one more time- I AM NOT saying mothers or father's deserve DISrespect, merely that being one is nothing special, and that people are perfectly right to choose not to date one.

5/4/2011 6:02:21 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
sweetkissme_81
Southwest Harbor, ME
36, joined Mar. 2011


I am not attacking any man who doesn't want to date a women becuase she is a single parent. I'm guessing from your strong veiwpoints on the choice, that somewhere along the line you dated a single mom and something went badly. i have stated serveral times that I respect your choice, you on the other hand keep making comments and statements are so outlandish that I find it hard to bite my tounge and not reply back.
You like to generalize all single mothers, as if we all made a mistake in our choices that me made as far as partener. I didn't just have a one night stand with some random guy and then get pregnant. I was like my daughter's father for 3 years, we were in a very happy commited relationship when our daughter was concieved. The events taking place after her arrival were unexpected and unfortunate. not everyone has a fairy tale ending, I would do it all over again in heartbeat if it ment I would have my daughter.
you talk about being attacked for not wanting to date a single mother, well I feel attacked becuase I am that single mother and the things that you say are disrepectful to me and women like me.

5/4/2011 6:11:41 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from sweetkissme_81:
I am not attacking any man who doesn't want to date a women becuase she is a single parent. I'm guessing from your strong veiwpoints on the choice, that somewhere along the line you dated a single mom and something went badly.


i stopped reading the SECOND i read this tire old bullshit argument.


if i say im against illegals aliens, whats the idiotic response " oh did one steal your job?"


if i say im against potheads, whats the moronic retort "oh did one beat u up?"



5/4/2011 6:12:45 PM Women with Kids? | Page 2  
mainelyhere
Lisbon Falls, ME
30, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from sweetkissme_81:
well I feel attacked becuase I am that single mother and the things that you say are disrepectful to me and women like me.



too f**king bad, you dont like how u are perceived as a single mother, that wont change, ever.






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