| 7/3/2013 8:29:05 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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mscat214
Springfield, MO
60, joined Jan. 2012
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Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 7/3/2013 8:45:59 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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redrver
Sedalia, MO
70, joined Aug. 2010
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Nothing Special
“May I take your order, sir?” the waiter asked.
“Yes. How do you prepare your chickens?”
“Nothing special, sir,” he replied. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”
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| 7/3/2013 8:51:33 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
65, joined Feb. 2011
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tears in my eyes from laughing. I'll never be able to use my plunger the same again. 
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| 7/3/2013 9:39:55 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Best one in a while.. ^^
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| 7/3/2013 1:55:25 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
65, joined Feb. 2011
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A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife can`t hear him.
"How bad is it?" the doctor asks.
"I have no idea", says the husband.
"Well, please test her. Stand 20 feet away from her and say something. If she doesn`t hear you, get closer and say the same thing. Keep moving closer repeating the comment until she does hear you. That way we`ll have an idea of her range of hearing loss."
So the man goes home and sees his wife in the kitchen chopping up vegetables for dinner.
From 20 feet: "What are we having for dinner?"
No answer. From 10 feet, same thing. From 5 feet, same thing. Finally he`s standing right behind her ...
"What`s for dinner?"
She turns around, looks at him and says "For the FOURTH time ... BEEF STEW!"
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| 7/3/2013 2:20:07 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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eastfoot
Bossier City, LA
61, joined Jul. 2012
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,,,
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| 7/3/2013 4:33:20 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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redrver
Sedalia, MO
70, joined Aug. 2010
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| 7/3/2013 5:35:38 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/4/2013 2:02:09 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 12:50:21 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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Let Us In!
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| 7/5/2013 1:09:41 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kitty97
West Palm Beach, FL
61, joined Aug. 2011
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Don't let them teach that move to my guys! I will end up permanently opening and closing the door!
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| 7/5/2013 3:10:00 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 5:06:38 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kitty97
West Palm Beach, FL
61, joined Aug. 2011
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An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went".
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"?
"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
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| 7/5/2013 5:22:49 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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redrver
Sedalia, MO
70, joined Aug. 2010
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all funny..above me..
What was the Problem
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”
“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the Flight Attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”
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| 7/5/2013 6:09:54 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 10:46:06 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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Hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist
A person who loves to use extremely long words (oh the irony).
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| 7/5/2013 10:53:19 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 11:10:54 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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People Ball
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| 7/5/2013 11:27:42 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 11:31:22 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/5/2013 11:39:12 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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May try that..
Must be trying to get to one of those huts.
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| 7/5/2013 11:39:48 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 11:41:48 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 11:44:46 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 11:50:38 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/5/2013 11:55:28 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/5/2013 11:57:06 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/6/2013 12:00:44 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/6/2013 12:04:06 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/6/2013 8:56:29 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/6/2013 9:18:12 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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ireneann
Stuart, FL
62, joined Dec. 2009
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Wife texts husband on a cold
winter’s morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently
pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes
later:
"Computer really screwed up
now.”
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| 7/6/2013 12:47:55 PM |
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lahtil39
Jasper, IN
70, joined Oct. 2011
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Angler & Hunter
The situation on acquiring ammo is getting really tight, but this morning I lucked out and was able to buy three boxes of fresh ammo. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped first at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blond in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She glanced at the three boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading some lovin for ammo?" I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of ammo ya got?"
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| 7/7/2013 1:18:32 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/7/2013 11:45:23 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/7/2013 1:34:49 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kitty97
West Palm Beach, FL
61, joined Aug. 2011
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The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal and God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peac*cks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased..
And Dog was happy.
And the Cat . . .
didn't give a shit one way or the other.
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| 7/7/2013 1:43:52 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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laffwimme
Bent Mountain, VA
66, joined Jul. 2012
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| 7/7/2013 2:04:48 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/7/2013 4:15:49 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Gotcha..
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| 7/7/2013 5:12:59 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
65, joined Feb. 2011
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| 7/7/2013 11:56:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Is it china?
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| 7/8/2013 12:04:10 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/8/2013 12:14:55 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/8/2013 12:35:16 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/8/2013 9:08:39 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/8/2013 11:41:54 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
65, joined Feb. 2011
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You know you're in the south when...
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
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| 7/8/2013 12:14:48 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."
The husband said, "What did he say about your 56 year old ass?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.
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| 7/8/2013 12:30:35 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/8/2013 12:31:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/8/2013 3:39:35 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
65, joined Feb. 2011
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^^^Nah. 4 tallboys only take about 10 minutes.  
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| 7/8/2013 11:57:09 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 1:00:21 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/9/2013 1:29:35 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 1:30:58 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 1:36:37 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 10:00:17 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
65, joined Feb. 2011
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Computer Nerd pick-up lines
Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for.
You make my software turn into hardware!
Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection.
You had me at "Hello World."
Want to see my HARD Disk? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
My 'up-time' is better than BSD.
Are you an angel, because your texture mapping is divine!
You've stolen the ASCII to my heart.
You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.
If you were a web browser, you'd be called a Fire-foxy lady
How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
Your beauty rivals the graphics of Call of Duty.
You must be Windows 95 because you've got me feeling so unstable.
I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up.
Want to see my Red Hat?
If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
You put the SPARC in my workstation.
You're so pretty, I wouldn't even need to use an Instagram filter if I took your photo.
Isn't your e-mail address [email protected]?
I'd switch to emacs for you.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?
No, that's not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
Nice Set of Floppies!
I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.
If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.
WebMD says your love is contagious.
Hey, how 'bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.
I'd like to play on your laptop.
Where's the 'like' button for that smile?
You totally spiked my traffic.
You are the Apple of my i-Mac.
If you were an ISP I'd dial you all day long.
If you were an ebay auction, I'd totally 'buy it now'.
Come to my 127.0.0.1 and I’ll give you sudo access.
I must be using Apple maps, because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
I'd get a T3 to watch your streaming video.
I'll bet my hard drive is the biggest you've ever seen.
Your homepage or mine?
Hey Baby, Let me hack your kernel.
No, that's not an iPod mini in my pocket. I'm just happy to see you.
You auto-complete me.
I didn't mean to ogle you, but I'd sure like to Google you.
I was wondering if you'd like to go back to My-Space, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo, until I Google all over your Facebook?
Need me to unzip your files?
How about we go home and you handle my exception?
If we were connected on Linkedin, I'd endorse you all night long.
I wish you were Broadband, so I could get high-speed access.
I'd ask if you come here often, but I already stalk you on FourSquare.
Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean.
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| 7/9/2013 10:14:59 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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eastfoot
Bossier City, LA
61, joined Jul. 2012
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 ^^^  
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| 7/9/2013 10:36:17 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 10:37:36 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 10:39:09 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 7/9/2013 10:56:20 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 3 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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