| 8/29/2013 7:17:36 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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mcpixie1
Moreno Valley, CA
87, joined Sep. 2012
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Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 8/29/2013 8:58:41 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ’You died in your sleep, Ralph..’ Ralph was stunned. ’I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’
St. Peter said, ’I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. ’So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’
’Not bad, replied Ralph the hen, but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’
’You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ’Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before? ’ Never, said Ralph. Well, just relax and let it happen, says the rooster. ’It’s no big deal.’
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
Ralph! Wake up you dirty bastard. You sh*t the bed!’
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| 8/29/2013 9:06:49 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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purplesky56
Pearcy, AR
63, joined Nov. 2010
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| 8/30/2013 1:01:33 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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| 8/30/2013 8:33:15 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
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| 8/30/2013 10:06:10 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 8/30/2013 10:33:27 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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Wow! Talk about dropping a log!
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| 8/30/2013 8:30:12 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 8/30/2013 8:36:02 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 8/31/2013 9:16:51 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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LMBO!!!
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| 8/31/2013 10:40:41 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 8/31/2013 10:31:32 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 9/1/2013 12:47:31 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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| 9/1/2013 12:50:57 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 9/1/2013 1:20:49 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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............... 
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| 9/1/2013 3:22:55 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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^^^My Wish Granted
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| 9/1/2013 7:22:16 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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I wish Kenny has a cardiologist on call.
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| 9/2/2013 12:02:10 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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Feet Tickle Torture!
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| 9/2/2013 1:23:44 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/3/2013 7:32:26 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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fishingmom
Lake Alfred, FL
63, joined Aug. 2008
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First known pics of a FL mosquito
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| 9/5/2013 2:45:07 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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This has surely been posted before but a recent incident prompted me to post it again.
Yhe dumbing of America
The Dumbing down of America......
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...
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| 9/5/2013 2:48:20 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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| 9/5/2013 3:18:28 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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I started The Whiskey Diet. I've lost three days already.
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| 9/5/2013 10:34:41 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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| 9/6/2013 1:06:41 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
A dentist and a manicurist married . They fought tooth and nail.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia the LAN down under.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone, It is two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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| 9/6/2013 8:36:15 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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I am amazed that this thread is doing as well as it is.
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| 9/7/2013 9:04:27 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 11:02:13 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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^^^ Picard, what's become of you? 
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| 9/7/2013 12:30:59 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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ahhhhhhhhhhhh .... thanks for the memory
..... sure was nice to cop-a-feel at the beginning of a new day.
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| 9/7/2013 1:25:13 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 1:27:08 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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Hey!!! He has a hat just like yours Bogi. 
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| 9/7/2013 2:08:42 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Who's got the white out? Lmbo!!
[Edited 9/7/2013 2:09:01 PM ]
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| 9/7/2013 2:13:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 2:18:55 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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| 9/7/2013 4:22:45 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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maggievalleymtn
North Myrtle Beach, SC
64, joined Jun. 2013
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| 9/7/2013 5:19:51 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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Damn Close!
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| 9/7/2013 8:33:53 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Just need some glasses BB..
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| 9/7/2013 9:11:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 9:14:35 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 9:14:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 9:41:25 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 9:45:01 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/7/2013 9:45:50 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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redrver
Sedalia, MO
69, joined Aug. 2010
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| 9/7/2013 10:03:48 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/8/2013 2:30:09 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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mrusedup
Boss, MO
66, joined May. 2012
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| 9/8/2013 2:47:44 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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mrU you owe me a dry pair of of underwear!
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| 9/8/2013 7:09:36 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."
So he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a side profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,"What about you? Notice anything unusual or Outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is side picture profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual features about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses." "duh"
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| 9/10/2013 10:06:45 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/10/2013 11:52:46 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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| 9/11/2013 12:09:57 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/11/2013 9:13:01 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/11/2013 10:22:02 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 9/12/2013 12:20:18 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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| 9/13/2013 3:26:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.
‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’
‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it, give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..’
It was not even a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was
horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’
‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor…
‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye
and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’
‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘ Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’
‘Freakin’ jaysus, ’twas the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.
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| 9/13/2013 7:09:05 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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| 9/13/2013 10:45:50 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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[URL=http://s1365.photobucket.com/user/bigbojiman/media/image_zps6eb890f7.jpg.html] [/URL]
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| 9/14/2013 2:39:38 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
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| 9/14/2013 7:17:47 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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BB...you're getting naughty!! LMBO ^^
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| 9/14/2013 10:49:26 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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^^ I'm just the messenger
[URL=http://s1365.photobucket.com/user/bigbojiman/media/ass_zps1864c11f.jpg.html] [/URL]
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| 9/17/2013 1:17:25 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 10 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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