The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 28

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2/7/2014 3:06:47 AM	The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL \| Page 28
bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011	Me Me I'll take a free bully! Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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vaegood Harrisonburg, VA 55, joined May. 2007	Texting Elderly An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cellphones. The wife was a romantic type, and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message, so she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." The husband texted back to her: "I'm using the bathroom. Please advise."
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stareye1 Osage Beach, MO 57, joined Sep. 2009
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vaegood Harrisonburg, VA 55, joined May. 2007
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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vaegood Harrisonburg, VA 55, joined May. 2007
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kennylooking4u Victorville, CA 59, joined Dec. 2010
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011	May not get in or out!!
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heart_and_soul2 Sarasota, FL 59, joined Dec. 2013
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kennylooking4u Victorville, CA 59, joined Dec. 2010	Oh Oh...This is not good...
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heart_and_soul2 Sarasota, FL 59, joined Dec. 2013	Quote from kennylooking4u: Never on DH---
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kennylooking4u Victorville, CA 59, joined Dec. 2010
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heart_and_soul2 Sarasota, FL 59, joined Dec. 2013
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012
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kennylooking4u Victorville, CA 59, joined Dec. 2010	If DH was eggs...
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011	BFZ Let's make T-shirts
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011	Quote from kennylooking4u: Oh Oh...This is not good... Put me down for $50 on Felix in the third round.
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012	Dog gone it, threads are still messed up ...
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011	Quote from bigbogiman: BFZ Let's make T-shirts
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012	^^^
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012	I think I would have a serious conversation with my parents who named me "Richard" in the first place. ...
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011	Harold Smith is on his deathbed, knows the end is near His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. So, he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Pall Mall ." "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the Thames ." The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Harold slips away, she says , "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property". Sarah replies, "Property? ... the a**hole had a paper route!"
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011	A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic man. He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered. "A priest... somebody get me a priest!" the man gasped. Long seconds dragged on, but no one stepped out of the crowd. A policeman checked the crowd and finally yelled, "A PRIEST, PLEASE! Isn't there a priest in this crowd to give this man his last rites?" Finally, out of the crowd stepped a little old Jewish man in his 80s. "Sir," said the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Christian, but for 50 years now I'm living behind the Catholic Church on Second Avenue and every night I'm overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it, and maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor man." The policeman agreed, and cleared the crowd so the man could get through to the injured man. The old Jewish man knelt down, leaned over the man and said in a solemn voice, "B-5 . . . I-19 . . . N-38 . . . G-54 . . . O-72 . . .
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stareye1 Osage Beach, MO 57, joined Sep. 2009	[Edited 2/11/2014 6:16:33 PM ]
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stareye1 Osage Beach, MO 57, joined Sep. 2009
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012	^^^
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stareye1 Osage Beach, MO 57, joined Sep. 2009
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ray_licious Georgetown, DE 56, joined Nov. 2012
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kennylooking4u Victorville, CA 59, joined Dec. 2010
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011	WALKING ON THE GRASS The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path." "Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both." The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand. "Yes?" said the Instructor. "I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it? This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
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gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 67, joined Jul. 2008	Scientists are saying we may have a new species here on earth. Note the elongated body and extremely short legs. They've tried to hide themselves with clothing to blend in with the rest of us but to no avail. Study the picture below...just in case you run into any of these freaks. ]
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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laffwimme Bent Mountain, VA 66, joined Jul. 2012	OK....I want.........
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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bigbogiman Corpus Christi, TX 64, joined Feb. 2011
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findingalicia Lexington, KY 65, joined May. 2011
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gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 67, joined Jul. 2008
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bluesrule Marshalltown, IA 60, joined Jul. 2011
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gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 67, joined Jul. 2008	A good reply to scammers..... Dear ______________, I was so happy to get your email. You sound exactly like who I have been looking for. I have a large house..some folks call it my mansion....I dont know if 10 bedrooms qualifies or not, tho. So there would be lots of room for you to come to stay. I live alone and could use the help around here. I am very lonely and have no one who ever comes to see me. My relatives are all gone now and friends wont visit anymore. Something to do with my 92 cats and 17 dogs. They say my house smells. But, if you were here, you could change those litter boxes. I can give you as much cash as you need to go shopping for kitty litter. Friends are also afraid of the 3 Pit Bulls. I am sorry..those poor dogs needed to be rescued from those mean men who bet on those dog fights. I have a car you could use. Been sitting awhile but I am sure that parts for them can be found. There have to be tons of 56 Ramblers around. As you can tell...havent driven for a long time. I can send you a bus ticket so you can get here as soon as possible. I need a week though to clear the expenditure with my attorney who regulates my trust funds. Let me know how soon you can get here. Love, ____________
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mrusedup Boss, MO 66, joined May. 2012	Good one GB Think I'll copy and use it when I stick my head out again. Don't get scammers while invisible
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gentlebear1949 Apple Creek, OH 67, joined Jul. 2008	Quote from mrusedup: Good one GB Think I'll copy and use it when I stick my head out again. Don't get scammers while invisible I actually sent that to a scammer today. Now I'm curious if she will respond and her response if she does...........

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