| 5/13/2014 2:46:55 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy." so he floors it and the race is on.
The cars are racing down the highway - 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures "what the heck", and gives up.
He pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says "listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and said..."Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 5/13/2014 2:51:27 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving. She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE." The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
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| 5/13/2014 2:51:51 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
67, joined Jul. 2008
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| 5/13/2014 3:03:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
67, joined Jul. 2008
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| 5/13/2014 5:18:06 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/13/2014 11:30:58 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/14/2014 8:17:59 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
67, joined Jul. 2008
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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."
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| 5/15/2014 12:35:17 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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A doctor in Duluth, Minnesota wanted to get
off work and go hunting, so he
approached his assistant.
"Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to
take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."
"Yes, sir!" answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns
the following day and asks: "So, Ole,
How was your day?"
Ole told him that he took care of
three patients. "The first one had a
headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo, mate, and the second one?"
asks the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir," says Ole.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the Doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens
and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself,
taking off everything including
her panties and lies
down on the table and shouts:
'HELP ME - I haven't
seen a man in over two years!!'"
"Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole,
What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes!!
You thought I was sending a dirty joke!!
Remember - Keep smiling
It makes people wonder . . .
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| 5/15/2014 10:27:29 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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  BB
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| 5/15/2014 10:30:01 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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| 5/15/2014 10:36:31 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/15/2014 11:41:12 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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^^but I likes what I see!
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| 5/15/2014 12:13:11 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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jeffandr
Leechburg, PA
57, joined Aug. 2011
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| 5/15/2014 3:03:28 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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poker night at DH ..
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| 5/15/2014 5:44:43 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bluesrule
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011
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After having their 11th child, a redneck couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The man said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.
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| 5/15/2014 7:08:31 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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^^^
Ha Ha Ha
...
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| 5/16/2014 5:39:13 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
67, joined Jul. 2008
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My baby pic with my dog.......
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| 5/16/2014 8:03:42 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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^^Ha Ha,funny GB!
 
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| 5/16/2014 8:18:15 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/16/2014 10:37:17 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/17/2014 7:04:50 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/17/2014 8:00:57 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/18/2014 6:04:09 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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Porkus Interruptus
[Edited 5/18/2014 6:06:33 AM ]
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| 5/18/2014 10:52:42 AM |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/18/2014 5:26:13 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/18/2014 6:16:03 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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| 5/18/2014 6:18:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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| 5/18/2014 6:20:23 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/18/2014 7:44:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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| 5/18/2014 8:30:13 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/19/2014 8:50:19 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Yep, it's Monday..
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| 5/19/2014 9:04:32 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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maggievalleymtn
North Myrtle Beach, SC
64, joined Jun. 2013
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| 5/19/2014 11:48:55 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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In a plea to stop further shame. Family and friends
of Emma Jackson have requested that she retire as
the Visual Aid Assistant to Thompson County.
...
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| 5/19/2014 3:09:01 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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| 5/19/2014 3:28:56 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar...
Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now."
Stevie: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"
Stevie: "Yes, I've been playing for years."
Tiger: "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Stevie: "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
"But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger.
"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
Tiger: "What's your handicap?"
Stevie: "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Stevie: "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?"
Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that.. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"
Stevie: "Pick a night."
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| 5/19/2014 7:22:04 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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[Edited 5/19/2014 7:22:32 PM ]
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| 5/19/2014 7:30:59 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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Seems Legitimate?
...
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| 5/19/2014 7:33:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/19/2014 7:37:47 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/19/2014 7:59:58 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/19/2014 8:54:36 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/20/2014 10:37:28 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/20/2014 10:40:34 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/20/2014 10:43:55 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/20/2014 10:55:11 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/20/2014 12:12:06 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/20/2014 7:02:37 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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| 5/20/2014 7:11:13 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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Bathing Bowers
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| 5/21/2014 2:48:29 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/21/2014 6:49:31 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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heart_and_soul2
Sarasota, FL
59, joined Dec. 2013
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| 5/21/2014 7:12:30 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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ray_licious
Georgetown, DE
56, joined Nov. 2012
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| 5/22/2014 7:44:55 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/23/2014 9:16:03 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/24/2014 4:03:30 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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And I thought MY CPAP was bad!
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| 5/24/2014 10:29:22 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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^^
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| 5/24/2014 10:35:32 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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| 5/24/2014 11:00:23 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/24/2014 3:53:14 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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bigbogiman
Corpus Christi, TX
64, joined Feb. 2011
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^^ Poor Benny
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| 5/24/2014 5:20:21 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/25/2014 9:28:38 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 37 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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I hit "reply", get sent to a another dating site...
anyone else have this problem? 
Still funny..
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