Conditional love, is this all that there is?

2/2/2016 2:02:20 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
fixious Fort Collins, CO 35, joined Apr. 2008	People say "I love you" when that isn't always what they really mean, unless you actually love who the person is. It seems that what people often mean is that they love how you make them feel, what you offer them, what you can do for them, how good you are in bed or how you look. But these are all conditional things, having nothing to do with who the person actually is. Conditional relationships are doomed to fail when and if those conditions ever change. If you love who the person is there are no conditions, for they will always be who they are. Unconditional love seems rare, but lasting. I can't speak for all men, and I've seen how many fall in love with how a women looks. But I've never seen or experienced a women loving who the man is, only conditional things. Is it possible for a women to love who a man is and not all the other things? Einstein once said "men marry women with the hope that they will never change, women marry men with the hope that they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed." But if women want their men to change do they really love them? Why would you want to change something or someone when you already love the way they are? Maybe I just think too deeply into things... Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
2/2/2016 2:20:23 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 61, joined Apr. 2011	Dude...let me give you some advice, that if you don't take....you'll look back in a several years and wish you had. Forget all of this nonsense...your probably a good dude who could give a woman lots of love. and for that...you'll go thru being used and abused and end up heart broken and broke. Women put more conditions of love, than Carter has pills. Nope...play the field and have fun,....work on a high paying gig and retire early and see things, and enjoy life. Then when you retire o that beach early...you can surround yourself with women pampering you while you catch the rays. I know you won't follow this advice....but I wager, you'll look back and wish you had. Good luck. [Edited 2/2/2016 2:21:04 PM ]
2/2/2016 2:20:43 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
jjp184 Somerset, NJ 52, joined Jun. 2013	Yeah, I don't over think love, I just say it to any chick that'll listen
2/2/2016 2:31:27 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
amusicluvr Salem, OR 63, joined Nov. 2013	Anyone who claims to give unconditional love is a liar, or a fool. Unconditional love means that the loved one can do ANYthing to anyONE, any TIME, anyWHERE, under ANY circumstances, and still be loved. He / she can: kidnap, rape, and murder, your child, or pet, or child and pet, and still be loved by you. He / she can steal from your invalid parents, and still be loved by you. He / she can beat you, and your child, and your pet, and your invalid parents, and still be loved by you. There is NO condition, or circumstance, under which you would stop loving him / her. That is NOT love. That is emotional addiction. Loving the person, for him / her self, for internals....honesty, intelligence, personality, compatibility, etc, is rare. Most people do fall for externals....high incomes, flat bellies, perky tits, ideal thigh gap, etc....and when such things fade away, the 'love' for them fades away, too. That is a character flaw in the one doing the supposed loving, and is common. Whining about it won't change it...especially not when the whiner is as guilty as the one whined about. So she fell out of love with you when your six pack abs became a Buddha like beer belly. YOU stopped loving her when her cesarean scarred baby fat belly did not go away, and her perky tits sagged...never to perk again. Too many fools-male, and female-fall for the idiot notion that they deserve, and so will have, some sort of perfect ideal partner. When the partner they get is not so ideal, it is lazy, human, nature to try to change the partner into the ideal...rather than admit that a mistake was made, dumping the partner, starting over, and looking elsewhere for the unobtainable ideal. The few who do dump,and start over, discover that no one is ideal, and it is all a waste of time. They then, usually, get discouraged,and stop looking for anyone. What all should do is learn that perfection is not possible, and so settle for some degree of imperfection. A loving, faithful, good cook who satisfies in bed should be enough...even if he / she does not have the ideal body, or highest income. Pride often makes people refuse to settle for the almost ideal, when they idiotically believe that they can find-and get-the absolutely ideal. Such is life. Live it, or die.
2/2/2016 2:52:39 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
blurussian Tarawa Terrace, NC 27, joined Dec. 2015	Quote from amusicluvr: That is NOT love. That is emotional addiction. Loving the person, for him / her self, for internals....honesty, intelligence, personality, compatibility, etc, is rare. Most people do fall for externals....high incomes, flat bellies, perky tits, ideal thigh gap, etc....and when such things fade away, the 'love' for them fades away, too. That is a character flaw in the one doing the supposed loving, and is common. Whining about it won't change it...especially not when the whiner is as guilty as the one whined about. So she fell out of love with you when your six pack abs became a Buddha like beer belly. YOU stopped loving her when her cesarean scarred baby fat belly did not go away, and her perky tits sagged...never to perk again. Too many fools-male, and female-fall for the idiot notion that they deserve, and so will have, some sort of perfect ideal partner. When the partner they get is not so ideal, it is lazy, human, nature to try to change the partner into the ideal...rather than admit that a mistake was made, dumping the partner, starting over, and looking elsewhere for the unobtainable ideal. The few who do dump,and start over, discover that no one is ideal, and it is all a waste of time. They then, usually, get discouraged,and stop looking for anyone. What all should do is learn that perfection is not possible, and so settle for some degree of imperfection. A loving, faithful, good cook who satisfies in bed should be enough...even if he / she does not have the ideal body, or highest income. Pride often makes people refuse to settle for the almost ideal, when they idiotically believe that they can find-and get-the absolutely ideal. Such is life. Live it, or die. Kutos!!!! Awesome post!!!! 100 % approved!!!.
2/2/2016 2:55:15 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
4uijack New Port Richey, FL 81, joined Aug. 2013	I'd luv to f**k you!!^^^^^^ j/s
2/2/2016 3:13:46 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
pagal17 Lancaster, PA 51, joined May. 2012	Perhaps a mothers love is as close to unconditional as we get. Sometimes you meet the "one" and you love them for the good, the bad and the ugly.
2/2/2016 3:16:25 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
amusicluvr Salem, OR 63, joined Nov. 2013	Quote from blurussian: Quote from amusicluvr: That is NOT love. That is emotional addiction. Loving the person, for him / her self, for internals....honesty, intelligence, personality, compatibility, etc, is rare. Most people do fall for externals....high incomes, flat bellies, perky tits, ideal thigh gap, etc....and when such things fade away, the 'love' for them fades away, too. That is a character flaw in the one doing the supposed loving, and is common. Whining about it won't change it...especially not when the whiner is as guilty as the one whined about. So she fell out of love with you when your six pack abs became a Buddha like beer belly. YOU stopped loving her when her cesarean scarred baby fat belly did not go away, and her perky tits sagged...never to perk again. Too many fools-male, and female-fall for the idiot notion that they deserve, and so will have, some sort of perfect ideal partner. When the partner they get is not so ideal, it is lazy, human, nature to try to change the partner into the ideal...rather than admit that a mistake was made, dumping the partner, starting over, and looking elsewhere for the unobtainable ideal. The few who do dump,and start over, discover that no one is ideal, and it is all a waste of time. They then, usually, get discouraged,and stop looking for anyone. What all should do is learn that perfection is not possible, and so settle for some degree of imperfection. A loving, faithful, good cook who satisfies in bed should be enough...even if he / she does not have the ideal body, or highest income. Pride often makes people refuse to settle for the almost ideal, when they idiotically believe that they can find-and get-the absolutely ideal. Such is life. Live it, or die. Kutos!!!! Awesome post!!!! 100 % approved!!!. Thanks.
2/2/2016 5:36:20 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 51, joined Jul. 2013	Music
2/2/2016 5:37:51 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
rightguyforu92 Lisle, IL 38, joined Feb. 2015	Op ur a good looking dude with a seemingly nice physique. Im really sorry God only made u 5 foot 3.
2/2/2016 5:45:59 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 51, joined Jul. 2013	Wow rightguy I guess u love c*ck after allop he gave u a flower
2/2/2016 6:53:46 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
amusicluvr Salem, OR 63, joined Nov. 2013	Quote from packersbabe920: Music Thanks.
2/2/2016 6:55:59 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
driver406 Saint Paul, MN 64, joined Oct. 2009	I can't even get that!
2/2/2016 7:18:06 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
lucky_1million Pewaukee, WI 49, joined Jun. 2013	Some people love you in spite of yourself. This seems to be the case if you've been friends with someone for 10 or more years. It's a different type of love than sex-based love. It depends on how good you are at forgiving others. Everyone messes up at some point.
2/2/2016 7:35:32 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	Men and women do not love differently. Our emotions and how we act on them are not different. Some people, man or woman, may love only the trappings, and some people, man or woman, may love the person irrespective of trappings. I also do believe in unconditional love and that it works for more than just your child. But unconditional love does not mean that you stay with someone who murders, treats you poorly, rapes, or any of those other things mentioned. You can love someone who does wrong. Loving unconditionally does not mean being a doormat or accepting all behavior and sticking around. You can love and still insist that consequences happen. You can love and leave what is not tolerable or acceptable. You can love and not allow the behavior to continue in your life. (Other than that, I agree with what else musiclvr said.) Maybe I'm thinking a little along the lines of "love the sinner, hate the sin" kind of thing. But I don't believe that you're talking about unconditional love in the sense that others mean it. I think you mean it as loving someone only as long as or only because they have things you like--whether that be a particular job, a certain car, or live in the right house in the right neighborhood. Of course, love includes loving how they make you feel. Why would love include not loving how you feel with them? [Edited 2/2/2016 7:38:45 PM ]
2/2/2016 7:39:59 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	^^^Very good post!
2/2/2016 9:02:30 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
testsignup Springfield, VA 62, joined Sep. 2009 online now!	Another way of looking at this, is that it isn't necessarily the person you love, who everything is centered around. That is, the difference between most of the people I've known who played the field and dumped mate after mate, but felt plenty of emotion...and the people who picked one person who they cared about and stayed with them... was more that they were trying to live a certain kind of life. It wasn't how much they loved or was excited by the mate, from one minute to the next. It was that what felt rewarding to THEM, was to live a life dedicated to their mate. A bit hard to explain.
2/2/2016 9:24:51 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
pickygirl72 Barrow, AK 45, joined Sep. 2011	Overall you cannot change people. Women/men who feel they can change their mate are asking for disappointment. True Love comes when the relationship is well balanced, not taking each other for granted, being honest with feelings, letting their mate change and grow. Saying "I love you", should not be taken lightly.
2/3/2016 8:08:16 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
aintmyb_tch Ponchatoula, LA 96, joined Aug. 2015	Quote from packersbabe920: Wow rightguy I guess u love c*ck after allop he gave u a flower You noticed too.
2/3/2016 8:11:29 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
grande_mamon Houston, TX 49, joined Sep. 2014	Unconditional love doesn't exist OP...stop reading romance novels. There are ALWAYS conditions to a relationship...examples: 1. Please don't kill me in my sleep - A condition 2. Please don't have sex with my dad or brother, video it and then email me a link to the video with 5 laughing emotes on it - A condition 3. Please don't continually belittle me and talk about my tiny penis in front of my friends - A condition. If you require your S/O to abide by any of the above (and countless others)...you have conditional love.
2/3/2016 8:31:25 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
aintmyb_tch Ponchatoula, LA 96, joined Aug. 2015	I think the key to unconditional love is forgiveness and accepting the fact that we all (men & women) change as we grow older due to our own individual experiences. As for sucessful relationships, find the one who makes you want to be a better person so that the changes are positive ones and only increase the love they already have for you.
2/3/2016 8:39:53 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
grande_mamon Houston, TX 49, joined Sep. 2014	Quote from aintmyb_tch: I think the key to unconditional love is forgiveness ...forgiveness is then a condition
2/3/2016 8:52:58 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
nyythawk Denver, CO 53, joined Nov. 2010	Sounds like a bunch of crap you read in Cosmo. How do you know what anyone other than yourself means when they say "I love you?" What if they're understanding/definition of love is different from yours? Who's right? Think too deeply?... nah. The good thing is that youre THINKING. But youre thinking like a youngster. Which Im sure you are, so its cool. Live and youll learn... (hopefully).
2/3/2016 8:53:44 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
grande_mamon Houston, TX 49, joined Sep. 2014	Quote from nyythawk: But youre thinking like a LOVESICK youngster. Fixed
2/3/2016 9:28:33 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
greeleybro Longmont, CO 49, joined Oct. 2013	There's no such thing as love. U marry the one.u like the most, not the one u love. It will work out better for u Op!
2/3/2016 10:55:10 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
renee398 Chilhowie, VA 36, joined Jan. 2015	Quote from greeleybro: There's no such thing as love. U marry the one.u like the most, not the one u love. It will work out better for u Op! There is something called love,and no one should settle for less. It's that warm feeling you get,when you see that special someone smiling at you. It's the feeling of hearing their laughter and thinking it's music to your ears.it's a feeling of security and strength, knowing that they are going to be your sidekick in any battle that comes your way and knowing that you are always there trying to do the same for them. It's forgiveness, its sacrificing, its openness and loyalty,all given without being asked for it.
2/4/2016 12:39:00 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
ifiweruidh8me2 Cheyenne, WY 35, joined Sep. 2014	OP, just be your authentic self. There is some truth to what Bumblebee says, people (not just women, remember that there is nothing that can be said about the opposite sex that can't be said about the same) place conditions on love. Take your time, be choosy, try on a few different experiences. I believe the hardest part of it all is deciding who's worth going all in for and who to walk away from. The one's worth keeping are the ones who accept you and all your flaws & show up for you when you need it the most. That's all relationships are. Good look, OP.
2/4/2016 2:44:19 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
alls_fair Thorlákshöfn Iceland 96, joined May. 2011	Unconditional love=giving without expecting anything in return... Unrealistic expectations=demanding one or others put up with character defects without complaint...
2/4/2016 8:54:18 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
blurussian Tarawa Terrace, NC 27, joined Dec. 2015	I can't love anyone unconditionally. I am just hoping to find someone I can love as 'wholly' as I possibly can-- in the hopes that my past's ugly baggage doesn't spur up it's ugly head too interfere. I am not perfect.. I cannot expect everyone to love all my flaws.
2/4/2016 11:52:46 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
iam_resurrected Reno, NV 45, joined Jul. 2014	Everything is under conditions... Marriage is a condition where you gotta bite your tongue or be single. Life is a condition where it is the law of the jungle. You have conditions with your children. Maybe deep seeded you do love those around you but still you live by the condition you settled for or created. [Edited 2/4/2016 11:53:25 AM ]
2/4/2016 12:20:30 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
mylegsarecold Gainesville, FL 54, joined May. 2011	Don't you people love your god unconditionally?
2/4/2016 12:21:29 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
grande_mamon Houston, TX 49, joined Sep. 2014	I don't have one.
2/4/2016 4:36:59 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
grneyesrme Sacramento, CA 48, joined Aug. 2013	What you have described is not love it's lust. Love is unconditional & if you can't accept someone for who they are as a person you don't love them.
2/4/2016 4:59:42 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
greeleybro Longmont, CO 49, joined Oct. 2013	Quote from renee398: There is something called love,and no one should settle for less. It's that warm feeling you get,when you see that special someone smiling at you. It's the feeling of hearing their laughter and thinking it's music to your ears.it's a feeling of security and strength, knowing that they are going to be your sidekick in any battle that comes your way and knowing that you are always there trying to do the same for them. It's forgiveness, its sacrificing, its openness and loyalty,all given without being asked for it. Sounds good.... In theory but this is real life not a romance novel.....js
2/4/2016 5:14:36 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
blurussian Tarawa Terrace, NC 27, joined Dec. 2015	Love, generally has conditions.
2/4/2016 11:01:06 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016 online now!	Unconditional love is not always a good thing, if it means one or both people will be unhappy. Plus unconditional love doesn't usually exist for couples, more for children and their parents really. But if women want their men to change do they really love them? No, they love the idea of something else and are trying to mold the man into it. Sure in that situation, they may love SOME of what he is, but not everything, or they would have nothing that they are trying to change. I've never seen or experienced a women loving who the man is, only conditional things. Is it possible for a women to love who a man is and not all the other things? Yes. Now it seems that men have more acceptance for partners than women do, otherwise you'd see more men trying to change their female partners. Women I guess are more idealistic and driven by an idea of what kind of men they want, rather than the reality of the men they can get or are available. It's not fair to either person for one to be trying to change the other though. Either take it or leave it, don't try to change someone.
2/4/2016 11:06:52 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
sarahgoldsmith Norfolk, VA 45, joined Jan. 2014	Did you delete your other profile sadisticsienna, or someone deleted you? I've noticed mizgal & ms_holland are gone.
2/4/2016 11:09:24 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
sadlsticsienna AñatuyaNew South Wales Australia 23, joined Jan. 2016 online now!	Someone deleted me.
2/4/2016 11:18:02 PM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
blurussian Tarawa Terrace, NC 27, joined Dec. 2015	How can somebody else delete you?
2/5/2016 3:31:32 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
celyn67 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Jan. 2016	Flagging them a lot I guess.
2/5/2016 7:01:42 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
lucky_1million Pewaukee, WI 49, joined Jun. 2013	Quote from fixious: Is it possible for a women to love who a man is and not all the other things? Einstein once said "men marry women with the hope that they will never change, women marry men with the hope that they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed." But if women want their men to change do they really love them? Why would you want to change something or someone when you already love the way they are? Maybe I just think too deeply into things... The only time that I really want a man I love to change is when they've lied to me or cheated or done something that would normally damage most relationships. It becomes this battle for self-respect and self-love Vs love for someone else. I suppose men are okay with pretty women who do these things and don't care so much. No big deal.
2/5/2016 9:15:42 AM	Conditional love, is this all that there is?
ctr916v2 Roseville, CA 53, joined Nov. 2014	you need to watch more movies about capital and capitalism. didn't Gordon Gecko recommend getting a dog if you want a friend.

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