| 5/8/2016 10:16:06 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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 Alicia,and Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's...
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 5/9/2016 10:54:02 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Thank you Kenny.. 
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| 5/9/2016 4:49:27 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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Alicia.......  
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| 5/11/2016 11:03:35 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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I'd like to buy a new boomerang please.
Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away? 
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| 5/12/2016 9:19:24 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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A glistening dew drop on a perfect rose.
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| 5/13/2016 4:37:19 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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I'd like to buy a new boomerang please.
Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?
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| 5/14/2016 8:25:40 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Red sky at night, shepherd’s ?delight. Blue sky at night, day.
Mornin' Star!
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| 5/14/2016 5:01:50 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/14/2016 5:03:57 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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ALICIA !!! 
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| 5/15/2016 11:49:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Need to know asap, the lights are out! 
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| 5/17/2016 10:52:31 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Trans-sexual bathroom signs.
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| 5/18/2016 6:27:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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sorpstar
Little River, SC
64, joined Oct. 2009
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| 5/19/2016 11:48:44 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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heart_and_soul3
Sarasota, FL
59, joined Aug. 2014
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| 5/21/2016 9:51:24 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/21/2016 7:23:54 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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A rooster lollipop
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| 5/21/2016 9:16:15 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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sorpstar
Little River, SC
64, joined Oct. 2009
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| 5/22/2016 12:06:59 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/23/2016 4:01:11 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 5/23/2016 10:48:58 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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A Dachshund walks into a telegraph office, picks up a blank form, and writes: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog, “You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. “But that would make no sense at all.”
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| 5/23/2016 3:11:24 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/25/2016 4:35:05 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 5/26/2016 9:45:07 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/27/2016 2:15:47 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/27/2016 9:50:32 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/28/2016 11:03:07 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 5/28/2016 2:12:18 PM |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Wishing you a pleasant Memorial Weekend Star..
hoping you won't be that worn!! 
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| 5/28/2016 7:30:20 PM |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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Happy Memorial Day too you !!! I hope not.......
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| 5/29/2016 9:10:32 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 5/29/2016 10:45:10 PM |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 5/30/2016 10:22:55 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Flavors The young man entered the Ice Cream Shop at the amusement park and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."
 Kenny
 Star...
Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania, ?recount some funny stories about his time in office. One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a ?woman’s drink. She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had ?bought her a beer.
“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”
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| 5/30/2016 1:55:34 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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Alicia !!!
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| 5/30/2016 2:57:33 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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Alicia,and...
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| 6/1/2016 11:30:58 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 6/1/2016 1:42:43 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 6/2/2016 9:09:53 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 6/5/2016 11:16:59 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Tiptoe
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| 6/6/2016 5:31:35 PM |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 6/8/2016 9:47:48 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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sorpstar
Little River, SC
64, joined Oct. 2009
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Lol
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| 6/11/2016 7:32:19 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 6/11/2016 1:13:47 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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Couples Therapy
A doctor had a good reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he couldn't help. The Browns came into see the successful doctor and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests. Finally, he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I can help you." "On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some bananas and doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the bananas across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the banana using only your tongue. "Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help." The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us." "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some squash and a box of cheerios... "
Broccoli: I look like a tree.
Walnut: I look like a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
Banana: Dude! Change the topic.
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| 6/13/2016 2:59:26 PM |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Trump
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| 6/14/2016 10:53:55 PM |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 6/15/2016 12:59:12 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 6/16/2016 1:42:57 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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https://youtu.be/jlSF0dtDRD8
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| 6/18/2016 10:53:41 AM |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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For the ladies who had to be both mom and dad.
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| 6/18/2016 2:45:01 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 6/19/2016 8:14:07 PM |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Trump
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| 6/23/2016 9:31:20 AM |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 6/23/2016 10:49:39 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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The Disrupter's Guide to Succeeding in Trump's Post-Apocalyptic America
I guess you could say my journey as a disruptor began in Year Twelve of Greater America. I was in Trump Square on a Tuesday. I’m not sure what time it was because my gold watch, like all the others, had been melted down to make a codpiece so large it could be seen from China. Anyway, I know it was a Tuesday, because that was book-burning day.
I was dancing around the book fire when it hit me. I turned to my friend Marty and I screamed, “Marty! Why are we burning all the books?!” And Marty screamed, “Because it’s Tuesday!” And I screamed, “But, Marty, why don’t we use the books as padding to protect ourselves against spear attacks and burn all the trees instead?!”
Marty just laughed at me like I was crazy and started waving his penis at the fire. But I was undeterred.
I know that my innovation seems laughably dated now. But you have to remember that, back then, the only disruptive technology we had was dysentery. When someone was trying to spear you, your best option was either to cower behind a tree or to run around one screaming. But I’ve always been an outside-the-box kind of person, so the next morning I rounded up a few books and tied them to my torso with some bear entrails I’d been saving to make a noose in case things got really bad. (A neighboring tribe had by this point taken all our rope.)
When I went outside wearing my invention, everyone laughed some more. But, sure enough, when someone tried to spear me, the spear didn’t go through. “Eureka!” I screamed. I screamed again when the attacker plunged the spear into my leg seconds before Marty crushed his skull with a truck axle. But, even horribly wounded, I couldn’t have been happier. I felt like President Trump when he discovered electricity while flying his golden kite.
We all know what happened next: the “iPad,” as I named it, changed everything, and I became the richest one-legged man in Greater America.
And I did it all by working hard, staying positive, and believing in myself. If I could say one thing to all you budding entrepreneurs out there, it’d be: always believe in yourself.
And, sure, I’d be lying if I told you that the years that followed were without occasional setbacks. Did the iPad unleash an ecological catastrophe the scale of which no one could have possibly imagined? I don’t know. I’m not a scientist. But certainly we had some challenges sourcing the bear entrails, which drove our mortality rate back up to pre-iPad levels. And, yes, switching to what we believed was a more sustainable material—dog entrails—just wiped out all the dogs that used to protect our livestock from bears. And, yes, burning trees on Tuesdays instead of books may have triggered our endless cycle of dust storms and famine.
But, as Marty told me one day between dust storms, “John, there are no crises. Only opportunities.” He went on, “For instance, I’m making a replacement wife out of all the hair and teeth I lost. Isn’t she pretty?”
“She’s very pretty,” I told him, quietly donning my iPad.
“Her name is Loretta,” Marty said. “And she says you were sent here to kill us all.”
Marty was absolutely right about how innovators see opportunity where others just see crisis. His wisdom inspired me to create “Facebook”: the book you hold over your face to protect your eyes from dust storms. Of course, that turned out to be an imperfect solution for a cliff-side community such as ours (R.I.P., Marty and Loretta), and our efforts to achieve an economy of scale led to a book shortage, which forced us to suspend iPad production, which, coupled with the fact that all the trees were gone, ultimately led to a ten-thousand-per-cent increase in spear deaths.
But, as any true creative will tell you, sometimes you have to fail big. And it’s in that spirit that I stand before you today, next to our last remaining apple tree, to unveil my latest creation. It’s the culmination of my life’s work, the epitome of elegant, forward-looking design—a seamless marriage of form and function.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the “Apple Watch.” The first watch to be made entirely of apples. It is the future. It will change everything. Line forms to the left.
~~ Joe Keohane
[Edited 6/23/2016 10:50:19 AM ]
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| 6/24/2016 2:30:32 AM |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 6/30/2016 3:13:18 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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stareye1
Osage Beach, MO
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 7/9/2016 6:17:20 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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No ones fun anymore.
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| 7/9/2016 9:31:40 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 7/13/2016 9:31:25 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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| 7/13/2016 9:42:02 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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 (husband)... Dammit Ethel, all my underwear is pink!
Why didn't you separate the laundry?
(wife)... But darling, that would be racist.
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| 7/17/2016 2:46:28 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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| 7/20/2016 9:20:21 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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findingalicia
Lexington, KY
66, joined May. 2011
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What's clear and smells like red paint?
Chloroform.. go back to sleep!
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| 7/22/2016 5:00:26 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Trump Presidential Campaign
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| 7/23/2016 9:45:32 AM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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celyn67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jan. 2016
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| 7/24/2016 11:09:51 PM |
The FUNNY Business Thread ! LOL | Page 60 |
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kennylooking4u
Victorville, CA
59, joined Dec. 2010
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