I got only to page 4 before commenting.

Let me get this right. Some of y'all think that it was OK to dress as she did because the restaurant was no big deal. It doesn't matter that she's going out with a new guy with all the wonderful possibilities of that ahead of her. It's all about the restaurant and not who she's going with? She doesn't have to clean up at all because it's not a five star place?

She has to be told what to wear? It's all his fault because he didn't spell it out for her that he demanded to see her in the dress he repeatedly mentioned? So not only is it his fault, she's too stupid to understand?

But let me guess, if he had said "please wear that dress" not one of you now saying he should have told her to wear it would have chastised him for being controlling and having the audacity to tell a woman what to wear?


My thinking is is that it was some sort of a test, and that would have chapped my hide.

I think she's telling you clearly that you're not worth any extra effort on her part. If she can't even put forth the effort to dress at least as well as she would for work--assuming she doesn't work in shorts and sandals and old t-shirts--to meet a new person, she's telling you something quite clearly.

They wore dresses for quite some time before thongs came out....

The woman on the date should be dressed classy, not trashy or skanky!

Has it really come to the point where people have to discuss what they're wearing? Shouldn't some things fall under common sense? If you have a dinner date at a relatively nice place, you put some effort into what you're wearing.

You were annoyed what she was wearing to the CHEESECAKE FACTORY?

If you're going on a zouk dancing date after the dinner though, you both have to be dressed in a way that will allow you both to enjoy dancing to the sensual sounds of zouk and kizomba. The way I described my dress earlier would work. The woman needs to dress in a classy way, yet also in an outfit that will be comfortable for dancing zouk and kizomba style.

Look at your comments, just some of them:

"what she chose to wear REALLY rubbed me the wrong way."

"There wasn't any room for guessing whatsoever."

"She knew what I wanted to see her in"

You were probably coming off as a control freak to her, it comes off that way to me. Most women don't like that. Maybe the way she dressed was her way of letting you know, she's not the type of woman to be controlled.

I frankly don't think OP was clear and direct. He never specifically said "I want to see you in a dress at dinner tonight". There WAS room for guessing because they discussed the fact he wanted to see her in a dress, during their meet and greet. He asked her to dinner after that and then went to dinner after that conversation. The conversation about wanting to see her in a dress did NOT imply he wanted to see her in it at dinner, nor did he ever say to her "dress up for dinner"

I frankly don't think OP was clear and direct. He never specifically said "I want to see you in a dress at dinner tonight". There WAS room for guessing because they discussed the fact he wanted to see her in a dress, during their meet and greet. He asked her to dinner after that and then went to dinner after that conversation. The conversation about wanting to see her in a dress did NOT imply he wanted to see her in it at dinner, nor did he ever say to her "dress up for dinner"

maybe she has no common sense..maybe not the same sense as you. I personally would of been embarrassed to have gone to dinner in that getup..maybe you should rethink who your dating.

Right, telling/suggesting how a grown woman should dress. There are women out there who are ok with that. Then there are more independent type women who can dress themselves.

Since she showed up and the date went well, I'm guessing there are other attributes that she likes about you, maybe not that one. If it really bothers you that much, you can simply ask her next time you guys go out.

"But by her own admission on the meet/greet she likes to get dolled up"

And that she didn't, even when you suggested she did, I think is her just telling you to kind of ease off on that.

What is that saying about being on your best behavior for the first few dates??

Regardless of whether OP said WHEN to wear that dress, if it had been me, I would have gotten the hint. And, I don't do well with subtle comments.

I met a man for coffee one morning, and regardless of his attire being appropriate for where we were, I still felt like he had just rolled out of bed and showed up in his sweats. It made me feel that this was the best I'd get, and reduced his f*ckability factor to -0-. Yes, women do look at that too!

The meet/greet was Sun. I called her Mon night to arrange the date for last night.

In the beginning of the call I said "I bet that dress looks even better in person" to reference what was mentioned on the meet/greet. Then towards the end I asked her to wear it and a great pair of heels. So I was clear and direct on the phone with what I wanted.

However it's not like I was fixated on that particular outfit. If she had worn another dress, or even a nice pair of jeans and good looking top it would have been nice. But an old t-shirt, flip flops, and jean shorts to me says "Yeah I just don't care whatsoever".

wow...12 pages of analysis cuz' a guy had a great date and a passionate kiss with a girl in shorts...

wow...12 pages of analysis cuz' a guy had a great date and a passionate kiss with a girl in shorts...